I tried to think of some other topic to write about, like the Pence-Kaine vice presidential debate. While I watched it, it frankly didn’t merit a post in part because it truly doesn’t matter. I’ve done a lot of political posts lately, as they are topical. At the moment there is not much to say except that it sure looks like Clinton has this thing wrapped up. Rather than be a win by a few percentage points it looks like it will be by five or more points.
So instead and a day earlier than usual I will post my monthly Craigslist casual encounters review. I will default to Hartford, Connecticut from now on and change the title only when looking at a different locale. As usual my Craigslist postings were good to me last month: at least 297 web page hits in September, 195 of them for this May 2015 review. That was about 12% of total traffic, which has gone up the last couple of months for reasons that are unclear. It may be due to tediously removing all the web errors reported in Google Webmaster Tools.
On the first page of posts this month I see:
- 39 men looking for a woman
- 37 men looking for a man
- 10 men looking for a couple
- 8 men looking for a transgender person
- 2 women looking for a man
- 0 women looking for a woman
- 0 couples looking for anyone
- 2 transgender people looking for a man
So mostly it’s a bunch of horny men looking to get off. Of course it’s the peculiar way that posters want to get off that tickle my funny bone. Time to dig for those nuggets of gold:
- He’s 28, black, massively endowed with ten inches below the waist and has plenty of pictures to prove it plus plenty of himself in action, including one with him smoking so I guess you have to deal with that. Considering the average vagina is no more than five inches or so and last I heard the cervix was not an erogenous zone, I’m not sure what all that extra length is good for. Perhaps some woman will explain it to me. I’m also not sure why he wants a man to be there too. Maybe he just likes making them look puny by comparison.
- There are few ways for a man to attract a woman on Craigslist and actually score, but I think this 42-year-old man will score. Why? Because he’s a dominant “sugar daddy”, i.e. he’s willing to lavish money on a woman, at least for a casual encounter. I doubt he looks like Richard Gere but at least he’s single. This 57-year-old sugar daddy may score also.
- It looks like Roleplay from last month is back and he is still looking for a woman into kinky playacting. The list looks a lot like last month’s, so I’m guessing he had no success in September.
- If you are a guy from Newington that wants a massage from an Asian or white woman, no sex but are willing to pay for it, why post for it? Check out massage parlor reviews on Yelp and go to a decent local joint instead. Most of them have attractive Asian women and even if they are not attractive, does it matter?
- If you are a couple and looking for a fat 42-year-old stogie-chomping black man for your fat wife to give head to, he’s available and has a suggestive illustration that if it is truthful probably won’t help in his quest.
- She’s 21, slinky and from Hartford, looks very cute and is looking for a woman to be her friend with benefits (FWB). She likes the juicy titties though, so does this mean you have to be lactating?
- It’s not unusual to see “dads” looking for “daughters” or “sons” on Craigslist, and I’ve documented more than a few of these over the years. But this 43-year-old woman is looking for a legal age young woman to be her “mother”. Here’s another “mother” but she’s only 28! It looks like a “daughter” is available, so which mommy will she choose?
- Hartford’s XXX Art Cinema is still in business and has stimulated the curiosity of a married white BBW but presumably not her hubby. She’s too shy to go to an adult cinema alone but she will go with an escort this Saturday night, providing you are black and well endowed, perhaps like that stogie-chomping black man. Maybe they can give everyone a show. BTW, she’s not the only woman posting for an escort to this cinema.
- Men, she’s 25 and if you call now you can make a reservation with her G-spot.
- Also men, if you are craving a good spanking this 40 DD endowed “chocolate skin” woman will provide it, as well as have your crawling on your knees.
- What is your personal best? This 22-year-old woman from East Hartford is going for her personal best daily blowjob record so she needs plenty of men … under age 40.
- This “classy” girl from Hartford (probably attached) doesn’t need or want to make love in a hotel room but instead wants to make love with a professional guy in his office. I hope the office at least provides a nice leather couch and you can close the blinds. If I were the guy I’d make sure the door locks and kept a gag in the drawer.
- At 24 your biological clock should not be “running short” but this young woman definitely wants a man to “seed me”. If you succeed I expect a paternity suit will follow.
- If you are a man who never finds happiness at the mall, this 22-year-old woman from Westfarms will provide it to a sexy young man with a discreet mall blowjob. I’d avoid areas near the security cams.
More in November.
So I’ve been traveling – a four-day jaunt to Washington D.C. area and back – so I missed my usual first Friday of the month Craigslist casual encounters post. Since it’s been a while since I posted anything and no other topic immediately came to mind to blog about tonight, I’ll dig through Hartford, Connecticut’s Craigslist Casual Encounters trash tonight instead … and hope weekday postings don’t disappoint.
While these postings often disappoint, my Craigslist readers didn’t disappoint me in August. I count at least 334 web page hits for this stuff last month, including an impressive 239 hits for my May 2015 post. That’s over 18 percent of traffic last month. My site traffic in general was up 23% in August compared to an anemic July.
Who’s posting tonight? Probably those who posted last Friday but had unfulfilled expectations. In any event, the first page of postings tonight in Hartford brings up:
- 14 men looking for a woman
- 44 men looking for a man
- 2 men looking for a couple
- 1 man looking for multiple men
- 2 men looking for a transgender experience
- 11 “women” looking for a man (probably most of which are spam posts)
- 6 women looking for a woman
- 4 couples looking for a woman
- 1 couple looking for another couple
No transgender people are on the prowl tonight, at least on the first page of posts. Anyhow, let’s dig in:
- He’s 57 and looking for a man who is a “Little Bit of a Pig in the Bed and Straight on the Street” and much, much younger, at least under 40. And there is one unusual requirement since he is looking to give you oral sex: he can’t accommodate you if you are more than eight inches so if you have too much to spare, don’t apply. Once you see his naked pics though you’ll probably want to stay clear just on general principles.
- If you are a panty-sniffing woman this 29-year-old woman from Bristol wants to meet you. Good luck with that, poster.
- I guess conventional sex is too boring for this 37-year-old man but he is into role play and he’s got plenty of roles he wants to play with a willing woman. It’s unclear if he provides the costumes too.
- She’s 42, a mother of three and wants to meet college men half her age to make their MILF-fantasies come true. It’s all-legit. The catch is hubby will be taking pictures.
- This man is nostalgic for his Craigslist hookup, which suggests occasionally these ads actually succeed. Apparently she was into nipple weights. Holler if you are still out there scrolling through these ads!
- He’s 42, from Middletown and is looking for a woman for fun. To improve the odds, he’s willing to trade some of his Oxycontin to score.
- He 22, from Torrington and must have a hard time paying the tuition because he’s looking for multiple men and is willing to star in an X-rated video for some “hard”-earned cash.
- She’s from Bloomfield, has herpes and a confusing ad. She’s posting for a woman but the title says she is looking for a man, but the text says she’s looking for a BBW but she’s open to all men and nationalities. Her only qualification: you must have herpes too.
- She says she’s a widow and 45 but her picture says she’s 20-something and pleasingly plump instead. So no mystery here: she’s no widow and it’s just a random picture and if you respond expect to get spam. Oh, and she is not a 43-year-old virgin either.
- If you are trying to be discreet so hubby won’t suspect anything, maybe you should not be posting partially naked pictures of yourself. 43? My ass!
- Here’s one way to be a 52-year-old married dude and to score: advertise for age 60+ women and hope they are desperate and not very discerning.
- He’s just another 48-year-old man doing some wild game hunting: women with big clits.
- Is this 49-year-old man a dirty scoutmaster?
- He’s a man looking for your boxer-briefs. I imagine you will want to bring an extra pair to wear home. Oh, and he’s willing to give you oral sex. It’s unclear if he wants these laundered or used.
- Now this is weird: while this 49-year-old man is sucking your cock at his hotel (a Hampton Inn) or at your place he’ll be on speakerphone with his dominant wife.
So not too much kink tonight out there, but it could be worse. More in October.
TGIF is what a lot of Craigslist users are thinking, which also means that many of them want to hookup. So off they go to their computers to post their most lascivious and carnal needs in hopes that someone will answer the call. Most of them (particularly the men) are going to have their hopes dashed. Some will find they get not quite what they bargained for, like a sexually transmitted disease.
For some of us whose habit is to peruse these ads for our own amusement, we’re likely to find entertainment of sorts scanning the ads. I’m back to scanning Hartford Connecticut’s casual encounters section because it’s been so good to me. I had at least 259 web page views for my Craigslist casual encounters posts in July, and fully 179 of these were for my May 2015 post on Hartford’s section. You might say it’s good for business here on Occam’s Razor, accounting for at least 18% of my traffic in July. How can I not at least take a peek?
Scanning the first page of today’s ads I find:
- 42 men looking for a woman
- 29 men looking for a man
- 12 men looking for a couple
- 2 men looking for a transgender
- 1 man looking for two women
- 10 women looking for a man
- 1 woman looking for a couple
- 2 women looking for a woman
- 3 transgender people looking for a man
- 1 transgender person looking for multiple men
- 1 couple looking for a woman
Normally I put on the dark glasses before I read this stuff but it’s such a nice day I’ll see if I can handle it without them.
- She’s 48, from Hartford and looking for a man to take her to see Suicide Squad. It’s apparently a horrible movie but if she’s looking for a slow way to kill herself, she’s already in the right place. Just date a few Craigslist casual encounters posters!
- I don’t understand why gay men target heterosexual guys on Craigslist. Why would they bother to read the ad? If you are a woman looking for a woman on Craigslist, but the ad is actually from a man, why would you want to take him up on his oral servicing offer? This post is one fantasy this guy from Enfield won’t live out tonight.
- If you are a married and unhappy man but unwilling to leave your marriage this “professional” is for you. While she says she’s looking for a good friend, most likely her profession requires monetary tributes: cash or credit card.
- Women: is there safety through nakedness? If you come and visit him this 35-year-old man in blue boxer shorts will greet you in his birthday suit. Supposedly this will make you feel safe and in control from the start. I suppose it could also start fits of uncontrollable laughter too. And speaking of naked guys, Andy from Manchester is willing to let it all hang out for you in advance so check out his naked pictures and smiling face. To qualify for admittance you must sport DDDs or better. I’m betting he’ll settle for a C.
- If you are a female transitioning to a male, before you convert that clitoris into a penis, this man from Newington wants to suck it. This is perhaps the strangest ad I’ve seen for a man looking for a woman.
- Speaking of the transgendered, this shapely “gurl” from New Haven wants you if you are a ruthless and dominant top. Yes, she wants you to whip her into shape.
- I’m not sure why but if you are a woman looking to fulfill a rape fantasy this 37-year-old man from East Hartford will do the honors. It goes without saying that by definition real rape is non-consensual so at best this would be pretend rape. Here’s a 39-year-old man from Windsor (perhaps the same guy) looking for a similar scenario.
- Women: only contact him if you can squirt. He’s not the only one with particular qualifications posting today. This 35-year-old man is into sucking women’s toes.
- He’s 32, from Hartford and doesn’t like to brag but he’s no one shot Charlie. In fact, he’s ready for another one after as little as five minutes. He claims he came four times in ninety minutes.
- This is very weird and hard to capsulize. Go read it.
- This makes no sense. She is 23, a virgin and wants you to be her first but it’s something she puts all her extra effort into?
- She likes them big, construction worker size. Get your hard hats on, fellas!
More in September.
I didn’t quite forget to do my monthly Craigslist posting last Friday. I was just too busy doing real work for a change. I had two clients with high priority work, so I spent a long three days slogging through that instead.
Happily it’s behind me now. It’s a little early for a review of weekend posts (that tend to be the kinkiest) but since I have the time now and a pair of dark glasses handy it’s time to look into the underbelly of the web, a.k.a. the Craigslist Casual Encounters section. There I get to marvel/feel nauseous (sometimes at the same time) at what crazy, stupid and or kinky things people want to do with other people. I doubt many of these hookups will happen. If nothing else this monthly surf through these Craigslist posts remind me that while man is capable of greatness we’re also capable of going to absurd lows. Reading these wants from the id keeps me humble for my species.
During June I noted at least 203 web page views for my Craigslist posts, about 14% of total page views. 110 of them were for this popular post. It was my first look at the Hartford Craigslist section in May of last year and I return there today because it is reliably kinky, a bit crazy and often disturbing. On the first page of postings today I see:
- 35 men looking for a woman
- 46 men looking for a man
- 1 man looking for a couple
- 3 men looking for a transgender person
- 1 woman looking for a man
- 0 women looking for a woman
- 1 couple looking for a woman
- 1 couple looking for a man
- 1 couple looking for a couple
- 1 transgender person looking for man
So the posters are mostly men but fear not as I will look beyond the first page and into older postings by women to see what nuggets may show up there. Okay, time to put on the dark glasses.
- Hooray, a man posting on Craigslist has figured it out but he’s at least wiser perhaps because he’s older, 68 in fact and married. He’s looking for a transgender person who can take charge. He says, “No cyber or courtships or ‘getting to you know first’ bullsh*t. This is not ‘Match.com’. Get real.” Maybe there’s hope for at least a few Craigslist posters.
- I like to think of myself as reasonably sexually sophisticated but Craigslist often surprises me. Here’s a 28-year-old man looking for a woman for AB/DL. I had to Google that one. Basically he’s looking for a woman to diaper him and who shares his fascination for it. I’m not surprised the wife won’t accommodate him. I mean, he’ll even catheter himself to slowly fill up those Pampers. Thank you, poster. It’s exactly these posts that prove there is some wheat in the vast Craigslist chaff. (I think he’s also this poster who wants a woman to shake a rattle at him.) If you prefer to skip the diapering part, this 47-year-old man from Rhode Island wants to watch a lady poop. (Pretty women only, though; he has his standards.)
- He’s 21, a virgin, super shy and hasn’t even kissed a girl. Any women want to help him with his project?
- She’s 55, from Farmington, married and plans to be at Hartford’s notorious Art Cinema Saturday from 12-5. Sounds like she’s taking all callers but if you act now you can get a low number. I mean, who likes to wait in line?
- Sign up now to get a chance to bag this married woman sometime this or next month, whenever hubby says go, along with plenty of other men while hubby watches. Only, gosh, is she particular, but with those golden globes in her picture she can be selective. So if you aren’t young, normal weight and working out at the gym, you basically have no chance.
- He’s another gay man, age 49, looking … but you got to be stinky. I mean pit-stink stinky.
- She’s a self-professed pillow princess, age 20 and black, that won’t touch you (a black male) in any way whatsoever. You on the other hand better be into some serious ass worship.
- Men, if you are into spanking a “naughty little girl”, she’s from New Haven and is scheduling sessions, which suggests while you spank her she’ll be spanking your wallet.
- Men, she’s 29, a BBW and wants to peg you. She’s a pegging newbie apparently, and she wants to make it an ongoing thing. I’d keep my proctologist on speed dial.
- She’s from Waterbury, 36 and owns a speculum. She wants a man to probe her with it and do a full examination of the privates. Real or pretend doctors desired.
More next month.
Three months ago I first checked out the Worcester Massachusetts Craigslist casual encounters section, the state’s second largest city and about ninety minutes by car east of me. I’m back there for June for a second look around again, because I was surprised by the quality (such as it was) of its posters. For hunters of the bizarre I found more than a few choice quality nuggets.
Looking over my Craigslist hits during May, I count at least 209 web page views for these posts, or about 13% of traffic. This is about normal. 117 of them were for my May 2015 review of the Hartford, Connecticut section. On today’s first page of postings in Worcester I find:
- 35 men looking for a man
- 35 men looking for a woman
- 2 men looking for a transgender/transvestite
- 9 men looking for a couple (male/female)
- 12 women looking for a man
- 6 women looking for a woman
- 1 couple (male/female) looking for a woman
- 2 couples (male/female) looking for a man
- No transgender/transvestite looking for anyone, strangely enough
Let’s see how high the spring fever is running here in the Commonwealth now that all the leaves are finally on the trees and we’re turning on the air conditioners.
- This 25-year-old gay man from Worcester seems to be more into abuse than sex. He wants you to abuse his throat, not to mention his face, hair and neck. Curiously the rear end is off limits. Otherwise pretty much anything is open, including binding him up and slamming him hard on his bed. And when you are done, he wants you to do it again and again. I’m one of these old fashioned types that simply don’t understand the appeal of violence in a relationship. I think nine out of 10 therapists would agree with me that it’s unhealthy. Anyhow, the poster may also be this guy, as he also is gay and won’t do anal, but is looking for multi-partner sex.
- Can a couple be “clean” and have Herpes Simplex Virus? This 40-year-old couple from Ayer / Leo / Fitch area apparently believe they can have safe sex with another woman, which sounds technically possible if they are not having an outbreak. It’s too chancy for us actually “clean” people. The man apparently also swings separately and is looking for his own couple. At least they are upfront enough to admit they have HSV.
- If you are a female student in the Worcester area and are looking to combine your passion with sex with your passion for paying the tuition, this 25-year-old man from Worcester is willing to donate tuition money if you express your appreciation appropriately.
- He’s actually just looking for a date … someone who wants to see the Dave Matthews band with him. Now that’s kinky!
- If there are any women in the area that enjoy being urinated on, this man from Oxford is ready with his full bladder. He’d best not wait for an answer before answering nature.
- 25-year-old male athlete ISO female athlete to do intimate indoor aerobic exercises.
- If you are a couple in a cuckold relationship (and who isn’t?) of course you will want to party naked with your fellow cuckolders. There’s already a group in Worcester and they are looking for new members. Just to be clear, they are not wife swappers.
- This ninety-pound 18-year-old lesbian from Winchendon is sick of masturbating alone. In fact, she is so hot for her own gender she can’t help but TYPE IN ALL UPPER CASE. She may also be this barely legal woman who apparently has mastered mixed case.
- The bottom line is that this apparently gay transitioning 23-year-old man with a nice set of tits is willing suck you off (in five minutes or less guaranteed, he says) but only to get high. If you don’t have weed, no oral and no playing with his man jugs either.
- To show you what a Luddite I am, I had no idea until today what kik is. It appears to be a newer way of hooking up using your mobile phone. Anyhow there is a Worcester area kik Kink Club and all you have to do is scan the kik image on the ad to get into their private chat room for fellow kinky kik-ers, or something like that.
- Ladies, if you are so proud of your feet that you want to show them off, this 43-year-old man from Worcester with a foot fetish very much wants to admire and fondle them, and maybe more.
- Also ladies, are you thrilled at the thought of getting caught with your pants down? This 59-year-old man from Worcester is into semi-public sex. If caught though the looks are more likely to be of disgust or pity than shock.
- She’s a cutie patootie from Worcester all right and she has pictures to prove it, but she’s only interested in uncircumcised men. But she could also be this lady.
- Underendowed? “She” is from Gardner and likes them small.
More next month.
I would think it would be hard (no pun intended) to get horny today. We’ve had a week of clouds and as I write yet more rain is falling. But I just checked and yes there are plenty of local Craigslist casual encounters postings today, and by local I mean Hartford, Connecticut, about an hour south of me by car.
Scanning the titles that come up, I’m not going to have a hard time finding posts that shock, disgust or reset your already low opinion of our species. But then again, Republicans pretty much have decided to nominate Donald Trump to be their candidate for president. Elevated as a species we are not, as both Trump and Craigslist casual encounters postings attest.
I can document at least 229 web page hits for my Craigslist posts in April, about average, but 122 of them are for this post, so I expect it will appear in my top ten list this year. Overall this is 15% of my web hits, which is up from last month. Scanning the first page of postings for Hartford, Connecticut this first Friday in May I find:
- 46 men looking for a woman
- 36 men looking for a man
- 6 men looking for a couple
- 6 men looking for a transgender
- 3 women looking for a man
- 2 women looking for a woman
- 1 couple looking for a couple
- 2 transgender people looking for a man
Why is it that transgender people are never looking for a woman? Anyhoo, let’s dig into the trash pile and see if some of these posters can out Trump the Donald:
- She’s 21, claims the bad weather is making her super horny and wants to suck off as many men as possible today … in you are young and in shape.
- Women, this is as close as you are going to get to a zipless fuck. This 48-year-old married man’s version is a wordless fuck. It’s unclear if moaning and screaming count as words. It’s been my experience that “Yes! Yes!” is usually in there somewhere no matter what.
- Speaking of kinks here’s another one I’ll never understand: wanting to be cleanup boy. Well, he’s no boy, he’s 28, from Manchester and he’s not talking about tidying up things in your bedroom while you go at it. No he wants to eat the woman out while the guy plows into her, which I would think would be impossible to do simultaneously. What he really wants to clean up is the mess after male orgasm. Umm, pass.
- She’s so horny to try a woman she’ll pay for dinner and a hotel room.
- Some women are into well-endowed men. This man is into well-endowed women and we’re not talking ass or breasts here. Is this a case of suppressed micro-penis envy?
- I guess it’s never too late to act out your bi-curious feelings as if this comes to pass it will be a first time for this partnered 58-year-old woman. The partner would like to watch, if you’re willing. And speaking of older bi-curious people, here’s a heavy 60-plus bi-curious man from Manchester who wants to be bottomed by either the male in the couple or the woman or both.
- Last month I confessed my ignorance about tribbing. Now I understand. (Warning: explicit picture.)
- This 30-year-old man from Vernon claims to be newly bi-curious which means he really wants to try his own sex. I’m no fashion pro obviously but I strongly suggest you lose the black socks and repost dude.
- He’s 24, looking for a mature daddy and says he is a “semi passable sissy”. Given the hair on that ass and the ridiculous pink panties I’d say semi passable is pushing it. Still, it’s more truth in advertising than you usually see on Craigslist.
- Finally: safe sex on Craigslist! Watch this couple go at it on Skype and wank off to them!
- This 29-year-old man from Bristol doesn’t understand that a FWB is not a one time casual encounter.
- Boy, you do want them young if you are 24 years old and want to be the daddy in the relationship. Most likely whatever you have in mind would be statutory rape.
- Ladies, will you trade free rent for sex? If so, this 33-year-old man from Hartford wants you to contact him. If you will trade a part-time handyman for sex, this 55-year-old man from Enfield is also looking for a fair exchange of value.
- Speaking as a man, every once in a while I come across an adorable woman who in some fantasy world I passionately want to know in the biblical sense and then I find myself crestfallen when I learn they are gay. (Hint: One of them is Ellen DeGeneres.) I imagine women come across hunks like this black man and feel crestfallen too knowing he won’t want you. But guys, he’s very selective. To even get considered you must be packing at least nine inches.
- She’s 20, from Windsor Locks and is looking for a woman who will help her tease her husband by having girl on girl sex in front of him, leading into a threesome, which is perhaps the strangest anniversary celebration ever. Kinky, yes. Romantic, no.
- Ladies, she’s 29, from East Hartford and wants to use her strap on on you. Clearly, she likes to be on top of things.
- Men, double your fun: two women from Hartford are looking for one lucky man.
More next month.
I don’t know why but as I put together my monthly review of local Craigslist casual encounters weirdness, this snippet of lyrics from the musical Chess is running through my brain:
I’d let you watch, I would invite you
But the queens we use would not excite you
Anyhow, the first Friday of the month came early this month and that’s when I try to do these postings, as Fridays seem to be the best day of the week to find the weirdest of these postings, probably in anticipation of kinky expectations unlikely to be met by these posters over the weekend. So it’s generally anything goes. I decided to go back to Hartford, Connecticut’s section this month, mainly because I am lazy but also because my May 2015 post on Hartford continues to get lots of hits, 59 in March out of at least 166 hits for this stuff. That’s almost exactly 11% of my total web hits for March.
On the first page of postings I count:
- 33 men looking for a woman
- 41 men looking for a man
- 11 men looking for a couple
- 2 men looking for a transgender
- 1 group of men looking for a woman
- 4 women looking for a man
- 4 couples looking for a woman
- 5 transgender individuals looking for a man
- 1 transgender looking for multiple men
Let’s jump into the postings and find the wheat in the chaff tonight:
- Speaking of those two men looking for an attractive woman, they say, “Typically we’re available Sunday through Saturday with 2 days notice”, so I guess they never take a day off. They are 45 and 41, live in Norwich and have lots of explicit black and white pictures showing what they would do to a woman with men that obviously aren’t them, but at least the models are thoughtful enough to use condoms. Most likely they are married and probably need the two days to invent an excuse to give their wives for the odd hours they are going to put in at work. However, they are equal opportunity horn dogs, in that they don’t discriminate based on race but do discriminate on whether you are hot or not. That at least makes them more discriminating that most of their competition.
- Here’s an ad from a woman looking for a man that sounds legit, mainly because she’s been scanning ads from men for women and finding them turnoffs. Are you real, as in not a creep? Then maybe you can get into her pants, but this is Craigslist so the answer is probably no.
- He’s 26 and wants to go to the “art gallery”, i.e. Hartford’s “art” theater where apparently the stuff on the balcony is much racier than the XXX action on screen, or at least less faked than the stuff on the screen. But the balcony is only available to couples, so basically he needs a date in the hopes of seeing some people do kinky sex.
- Ladies, no need to feel awkward joining this couple in their 30’s for a threesome because you won’t be their first.
- If you are reading this, you are too late because this 46-year-old not totally gay man from Middletown is only available for the next hour or so.
- Lady, I love the blue panties.
- He’s a man from Suffield looking for a couple to have a threesome with but ick, none of this man-to-man stuff, he doesn’t want to even touch I would think that would make having a threesome very challenging and complicated. If that’s not enough to reject him, he’s also married and 52.
- He might possibly be Richard Gere.
- Here’s an unusual wish from a 50-year-old gay guy from Hartford: looking for a man with “alligator thick skinned ball sacks”. Maybe he should write bad erotic gay fiction. Oh wait, he just did.
- Ladies: he’s here to serve you, be your slave and he’s not concerned about your body type or your age (unless you are over 60). Among the things he is willing to do is this one I haven’t seen before: be used as your footstool. Enjoy, dude.
- She’s curious and looking for a Puerto Rican woman.
- Guys: he wants you to be “IN SHAPE”, 18-30 and he appreciates a great haircut (see example pictures). In fact, he’s willing to be your stylist and is hoping you’ll want him to shave you bald or make you look like a Marine. Prefers college boys and will “manscape” you too.
- It’s not easy being five months pregnant, especially when you are horny as hell.
- Now here’s an unusual ad: a 35-year-old white dude is looking for a couple. He’s at Bradley International (Hartford area airport) in the cell lot and stroking until 11 PM. He’s probably in the car with the fogged windows. That’s good as it will be hard to be seen with him, although having a threesome in a car sounds very problematic. He may get a caller, but I’m guessing it won’t include a she.
- He’s 25, gay, from East Haven, has a small one and wants to meet other men with small ones or big ones, just to compare.
- I don’t know how this 18-year-old gay “twink” from Tolland can strictly be a “bottom” and has a “virgin ass”. I mean, how would you know unless you tried?
- I’m sure hoping this 23-year-old Jewitt City man looking for a woman who is holding a newborn baby in his picture is a new uncle and not a new father. He says it’s been a while since he’s been with a woman. Maybe it’s because his wife won’t put out while pregnant or nursing?
- Here’s yet another sexual practice that I have no idea what it is, but it must be something women do with each other. She’s 21, from Meriden, is a lesbian virgin but says she is into tribbing.
More next month.
In my monthly samplings of weird but reasonably local Craigslist casual encounters postings, I’ve missed Worcester (it’s pronounced “wooster”), Massachusetts. It’s about an hour east of where we are living. I don’t think about it principally because I haven’t visited it, just driven through it instead. But it is Massachusetts’ second largest city with close to 200,000 people. Situated a bit outside Boston’s outer beltway, it’s had a reputation for being a faded industrial city, one of many here in the Northeast. It also has its own Craigslist community so it’s likely to have plenty of people into weird stuff. I’ll get to that in a minute.
But first, let’s take a look at my February Craigslist post statistics. It’s been a very slow month for fans of my Craigslist posts. I can document at only 156 web hits in February, but site traffic in general was very slow last month. There were just 1514 web page views, so my Craigslist traffic was just ten percent of total traffic. 69 of those hits were for my popular May 2015 post about Hartford’s Craigslist casual encounters postings.
There is a light snow falling here today. Let’s see if this is suppressing the creativity of posters in the Worcester area. Pulling up the first page of posts I see:
- 25 men looking for a woman
- 61 men looking for man
- 4 men looking for a couple
- 2 men looking for a transgender
- 5 women looking for a man
- 0 women looking for a woman or a couple
- 0 couples looking for anyone
- 1 transgender looking for a man
So right off the bat it looks like men will be dominating the posts this month. Here we go!
- Do you know what a tribute is? I mean in the kinky world of Craigslist. I had to look it up but it apparently involves a man jerking off on a picture of a hot woman and perhaps sending it to the woman hoping she will be aroused. If I were a woman and received one of these I would be calling the cops not to mention running for the Purex! In any event here’s a definitely weird post from a 52-year-old man from Acton looking for a man who will jerk him off on a picture of his wife. Curiously you have to do this while he is actually watching her, albeit surreptitiously, clothed or naked. Wow! This is exactly the sort of gem that makes this area so special! Just when you think you have seen it all, something new pops up. And it was the first post at the top of the page!
- Even if you are “gurl” friendly, you will want to avoid this ugly “woman” from Milford. “She” gives you plenty of pictures just in case the first one isn’t enough to convince you to hurry to the next ad. Maybe you should choose this 37-year-old gurl.
- I’m definitely behind on how sex reassignment surgery is done. Not feeling the inclination myself, it’s a mystery to me how the surgeons do this magic. Apparently in male to female surgery, the surgeon gets to shape the new woman’s private parts including her most sensitive spot, the clitoris. And that’s what this 51-year-old Worcester man is looking for: a new woman with an extra large clitoris. Presumably nature doesn’t provide this naturally to many women. It also helps if you are a “squirter”. Anyhow, if you got one, hit him up! He’d best not wait by his mailbox for replies.
- He’s 52, divorced, from Shrewsbury and has a sandbox he wants a woman to play in with him. Ladies, bring your plastic shovel and bucket!
- This is strange: a man looking for a couple so the woman can watch while he deep throats her husband. All this plus he’s 58. He must be particular however as you must live in Worcester.
- If you are a 23-year-old male virgin perhaps making your first sexual experience with a couple is not a bad way to get introduced to sex. It’s unclear what role if any the husband has in this other than as voyeur. Just in case the couple ad doesn’t work out he also has a more traditional ad.
- He’s 46-years-old, a recent widower and actually from Rhode Island and needs a fuck buddy while presumably he works through his grief. Or maybe since he’s looking he’s beyond that stage. Anyhow, unlike most of these posters he looks like a normal guy, so hit him up, ladies.
- There are lots of bad things that can happen in a casual encounter, but a lot that can be avoided. Here’s a gay 45-year-old man from Winchendon who wants you to bring a camera so you can join him in taking pictures of them naked. As I’ve noted before, testosterone makes men suggest crazy things and this is definitely one of them.
- He’s 42 and from Webster and is looking for Jennifer Sherman so that he can peak at her through her window again. I do hope this was consensual last time. Any Jennifer Shermans in the Webster area should lie low for a while and if asked say it must have been that other Jennifer Sherman. Which brings up another unwritten rule for these encounters: if you are stupid enough to go through with them, never tell him your last name.
- He’s young, from Worcester, has nice abs and wants to see you (a woman) gain weight. No, really!
- She 27 and really likes dominant men, so much so that her dominant husband is not dominant enough. So hubby needs help from a second super dominant man to finally put her in her place.
- In a similar vein, here’s a couple from Worcester looking for a gay or bi guy to join them because she gets off on seeing man on man, or at least a man enjoying her husband. That sounds fair given that so many men are into watching lesbians. The ultimate goal here is double penetration of the same orifice.
While few women are posting in Worcester, I am impressed by the weird postings mostly from men in Worcester, so it’s definitely worth a return visit.
More in April.
I’m back indulging my monthly habit of looking into naughty areas of the Internet. I’m back to my most recent favorite spot: Hartford, Connecticut. I’m there to see what crazy shenanigans its residents hope to get into this weekend by hooking up with strangers using Craigslist’s casual encounters section. Few of these potential encounters will actually happen, at least on Craigslist, but when posting on Craigslist it helps to think not just big but grandiose. In recent months I looked at postings in both Boston (feh!) and Albany, New York (hmm), but Hartford (about an hour’s drive south of me) has postings that rarely disappoint. Let’s find out who’s hoping to shake their booties down in Connecticut’s capital this first Saturday in February.
But first: a look at my January statistics. There were at least 260 web page views for these posts on my site last month, with the top rated post my first May 2015 review of Hartford’s postings (96 views). That’s nearly forty more page views than in December and about 11% of my web page views in January, which is about average.
On the first page of ads in Hartford this afternoon I see:
- 20 men looking for women
- 57 men looking for men
- 7 men looking for a couple
- 1 man looking for multiple women
- 2 men looking for multiple men
- 1 group of men looking for a man
- 5 women looking for men
- 1 woman looking for a woman
- 2 transgender women looking for a man
- 1 couple looking for a woman
So there are lots of horny gay men posting this cold and snow-covered first Saturday in February. Let’s dig in to the posts:
- A 45-year-old Farmington man does not have so much as a foot fetish as a toe fetish. He’ll massage your feet and kiss your toes, but curiously makes no suggestion of moving toward further intimacy. It’s probably just as well as he’s unlikely to get any takers, unless she is a working “gurl”. Considering the next post is also from a 45-year-old Farmington man, it looks like he is also interested in watching couples in his hotel room.
- She’s 27, a big (fat) girl, but is looking for a special kind of guy: skinny but well endowed, 9 inches plus and thick. She wants photographic proof and asks that you host their booty call. Oh, and stop flagging her ad. Lady, if I were you I’d go with this guy from Windsor.
- This 68-year-old widowed gay man seems very particular of who he will service. You have to be youngish but it’s not clear what that means when you are 68. The good news is you don’t have to reciprocate, which is probably just as well as I’m betting he has erectile dysfunction.
- She’s virtually 29, lives near Bristol and really wants to try her own gender for the first time. She’s into lesbian porn but has a few unique requirements, including that you must be shaved below the waist. Dominant women preferred.
- It’s odd to see what looks like a legitimate ad from a woman looking for a man, but this black woman, age 23, has one and she’s into white guys. Looks like she’s got the condom thing already figured out so no point in stopping by the CVS first.
- Ladies: sounds like a good deal. He’s a generous (read “willing to pay”) man who simply wants a “pillow princess” to give to oral love to. You don’t have to do anything else. There is no clue what he looks like but just in case he’s ugly, obese and/or very old you might prefer to keep a blindfold handy. Don’t feel that this will be your best offer, however. This 50-year-old man from Southwick is also interested in covering you with sugar.
- It’s not uncommon to find people posting for family role-play, i.e. “daddy/daughter”, “brother/sister” etc. This is the first post I’ve seen for a daughter looking for a mommy. She’s in her late 30s, and mommy must be 45+. Gosh, mommy started pushing them out young!
- There are few things worse than going to the Hartford Cinema Arts Theater where XXX movies run all day and night and having to get off by watching the naughty action on the screen instead of in the seats. Which is why since couples occasionally show up to do the nasty and invite audience participation, this 40-year-old man wants to hook up with you there, and he’s hoping the husband is a cuckold.
- This 30-year-old gay man from Wethersfield is trying to set some sort of record on how many men will take him orally or anally this weekend. Why do I think I see a HIV+ sign above his pictures of his ass? Probably because in the last picture he’s got a bruise on the right cheek. Avoid.
- It’s curious how a pedestrian ad can seem kinky in this section. He’s 59, looking for a woman and is almost waxing poetic about how he’s working to be at the forefront of American history and will be creating millions of jobs. He’s even posted his name: Roy E. Cline. Umm, Roy, ever hear of okcupid.com or eHarmony?
- He’s a gay guy very disturbed by the poor quality of men at Hartford’s local glory holes. Speaking of glory holes, here’s a couple from New Britain looking to find one for the wife to try out.
- Can a woman be a whore to another woman? This 26-year-old “very submissive” and fit woman wants to find out.
- You would think that a married man who want to see their woman with another man would just give up, particularly when the woman doesn’t want to move beyond fantasy. This 36-year-old man from Windsor is seeking to hire an endowed personal trainer who will seduce his wife.
- Guys, if you are going to try a “gurl”, go with this 25-year-old “woman”.
More in March.
It skipped my mind to survey Craigslist’s casual encounters section this month until now. I’ve been trying to do it on the first Friday of the month, which this year was New Years Day and I had statistics to post instead. Moreover, I forgot it yesterday, on the second Friday. But it is still the weekend, and that’s when these posts tend to be at their weirdest. I was disappointed in my survey of Boston’s posts in December but I was impressed when I surveyed Albany, New York last year. So I’m off to Albany again this month hoping to strike weird posting gold again.
First to note that Google Analytics recorded at least 221 page views for these posts last month. That’s 22 more than in November. However, my traffic was up some fifty percent in December so this was only six percent of total traffic of 3652 page views. 52 of those views were for my first review of the Hartford, Connecticut site in May of last year.
Who’s posting this Saturday in the Albany metro area? On the first page of postings I see:
- 25 men are looking for a woman
- 53 men are looking for a man
- 12 men are seeking a couple
- 1 man is looking for a transgender
- 3 women are looking for a man
- 0 women are looking for woman or anyone else
- 1 couple is looking for a man
- 1 couple is looking for a woman
- 3 transgender individuals are looking for a man
And we’re off:
- Men, have you ever wondered what it would be like to be transformed into a woman? Umm, no, at least not me. Now that I think about it I’m sure Frankenstein would look prettier in a dress. However, this “gurl” (45) and her friends are hosting a makeover party for the serious and experienced. You can bring a wardrobe but they have their own pretty extensive wardrobe too. Maybe they take pictures when they are done, and you can attach them in your next Craigslist post. Appropriately, these gurls are from Queensbury. Looking at “her” pictures, she could use a makeover herself. I’m afraid not even a quart of Jack Daniels would convince me to make a pass at her.
- Meanwhile, this gurl in Latham is looking for a real girl (woman) to dress her up.
- Speaking of the transgendered, this “gurl” is looking to make her first appearance at Adult World this weekend, if she can summon up the nerve. I’m guessing this is the local poorly lit porn shop. Basically she needs a sponsor so if you go there regularly, grab her arm and help “Ashley” through the door.
- Women aren’t the only ones in this section looking to trade sex for money. This six foot black gay man from Albany with nine inches to spare is looking for a rose. Make that two roses. I guess he figures those extra inches are worth the extra money.
- They are a couple looking for a woman and she wants a lap dance. If you dance well enough, she will give you your reward.
- You wouldn’t think a couple in their 50’s would need to be taught how to have sex, but this couple from Fulton County needs help learning how to swing. Lesson #1: there is (usually) no actual swing involved.
- He’s late 40s, from Albany, married and says he has his wife’s permission to hook up with you, a blonde woman. Why am I suspicious? Because I’m betting he is this poster.
- He’s just another horny 38-year-old married guy who pines for his own sex. He wants to discreetly hook up with a similar married guy at his hotel room near the Albany airport on January 22 when he will be in town. Apparently he is an ex Boy Scout because he plays safe and here he is proving he knows how to be prepared, as two weeks should be plenty of time to screen dates. Maybe he should hookup with this dude.
- Here’s the only legitimate young couple looking for a man post tonight, and they have very explicit pictures to prove it.
- He’s 37 and was weaned too early; in fact he craves the breast milk. If you have some to spare, he’ll be your milking machine.
- The last time I looked at Albany’s postings I found a guy that wanted to bottom another guy in a Schenectady bookstore. Weird, but today I found a 26-year-old man who wants to orally service a guy in a Troy bookstore. Perhaps it’s the same dude. I had no idea that bookstores were favorite spots for perverts and voyeurs. Next time I’m in a Barnes & Noble, I’ll keep a sharper eye out.
- Draya is a 21-year-old working “gurl” and I guess if I had to cross the transgender and color line “she” would make a great choice. Not sure I could afford “her” however.
- Some married men just want to be humiliated, i.e. sort of get off with a woman by getting no sex. Make love to his wife while berating him. It’s a strange idea of “fun”.
- Not many men are interested in age 60+ women. Not many … unless you are divorced and 59 years old.
- Speaking of older men, he’s 63, chubby and wants a hand job from a similarly chubby and age-appropriate woman. I hope that Cialis prescription has been recently filled.
- If I were a woman looking for a woman I’d definitely check out this buxom beauty, 32, from Albany. I wouldn’t say no to this 46-year-old blonde honey looking for a woman half her age either.
- They are a couple looking for another man but with no male-to-male contact. In fact, all that will happen is she will give you a hand job and I guess he watches. They are in their 30’s and from Albany.
- I thought slavery was illegal but this couple in their 20s wants to own you (a woman). Expect to be degraded; in fact degrading may be putting it too mildly.
- Ladies, this man would like to get to know you over coffee, but you’ll know him quite well before you ever get to the coffee shop, at least what he’s packing. It sounds like he’ll pass the truth-in-packaging law but don’t expect to spend much time sipping coffee.
More next month.