Posts Tagged ‘Sexuality’

The Thinker

Craigslist casual encounter weirdness: August 2014 edition

I’m about to spend eleven days on the road, so to the extent I blog it will be a travelogue. This means I best try to put to bed (so to speak) my monthly critique of Craigslist Casual Encounters (Northern Virginia edition).

I start out with the obligatory statistics. According to Google Analytics, I had at least 322 page views for my Craigslist posts in July, plus views in my feed that are hard to measure. That’s about 15% of my browser traffic, and the numbers are up from June. As for the postings, on the first page of posts I find 35 men looking for women, 44 men looking for men, 2 men looking for a transsexual or transvestite, and 1 man looking for multiple men. Women are underrepresented, of course. 4 women are looking for men; just 1 woman is looking for another woman. 3 couples are looking for other couples. 4 couples are looking for women. 4 transsexuals/transvestites are looking for men and no other combination.

The amazing thing about the posts this month is that I found all these posts in the first half of the web page. Usually I have to dig to find the kinky stuff, at least those posted by women. So the kinky hormones are hitting a crescendo this month, which suggests a baby boomlet nine months from now. The winter doldrums of mediocre posts are clearly behind, so to speak. I am confident I could fill another couple of pages with other highly peculiar posts tonight. I’ll let you explore those for yourself.

  • Today is my lucky day for finding weird posts. Second from the top of the page, here’s a 30-year-old woman somewhere in Northern Virginia who wants a man to take a dump on her. This just goes to prove that no matter how disgusting you think some sexual act is, someone is into it. She prefers men like me: in their 40s and 50s, as well as someone with experience doing this. I would imagine in the latter category, even in a populous area like Northern Virginia, at best you will find only a handful of gentlemen (and I am being tongue in cheek) with experience in something this weird, but who knows? I don’t hang around fetlife.com. The good news is that if you want to do this, she claims to be a hottie: “I am a pretty woman, sincere, easy going who is in great shape – I work hard for it.” At least in one way she is normal: “No one would know I was into this.” Lord, I hope not! If this still doesn’t raise your eyebrows, go read the full ad, because exactly where you do #2 is open to negotiation. As for me, I’m trying to imagine how one times something like this. It would challenge even Harry Houdini. I’m guessing a bottle of Ex-Lax helps.
  • Women’s kinks are definitely coming out this month. Here’s a woman looking for a woman who is into breast play. It sounds like she wants to do the playing. From her photo she is probably modestly endowed in that area, but she is looking to play with breasts that are beyond enormous and from an African American woman only: “When I say very large breasts, I mean G, H, J cup and so on……the bigger the better ;-)” I hope she can keep us abreast on the matter. We’ll be waiting for a “full” report.
  • A 44-year-old, 170-pound white male near Dulles Airport who claims to be a coach is looking for men for his team. He’s in an attractive spandex jockstrap that doesn’t suggest he necessarily can make his own team. “Show coach you have what it takes,” he demands.
  • Most of us in the grocery store have heard announcements like “Cleanup on Aisle 3”. Here’s what I hope is an unusual guy who likes cleaning up the aftereffects of intercourse. But, of course, he is not the least bit weird. “I’m not a pervert In public. I have a professional lifestyle and I keep my sexual lifestyle discreet,” he says. And he plays very safe. He has papers he says, and you need them too. Hopefully the papers he is talking about is not for his dog’s spaying, so check them out couples. Warning: explicit picture.
  • Guys, has your head spun lately while getting a blowjob? Here’s the problem: you are getting head from women, who don’t know exactly how to give perfect head. Gay men know much better, and this guy apparently believes he can make your head spin more than Linda Blair’s in The Exorcist. If for some reason you are not into guy-on-guy sex, she’s a transsexual with real breasts. It’s unclear if you can verify this since “she” will be using “her” gloryhole only. No charge. “She” is not a pro because “my time is free.” “She” could be 99 for all you know because she won’t give her age, just her location: North Arlington. I am betting it is better when you take out the dentures first.
  • I still don’t understand the whole gloryhole fascination on Craigslist. I figure the person (almost always a man) on the other end must be hideous to look at otherwise they wouldn’t bother to go through the trouble of not being seen. Based on my experience as a heterosexual man being on the receiving side, all things being equal, oral sex is much better when your partner is good looking, although your partner’s enthusiasm has a lot to do with satisfaction too. Anyhow, this 35-year-old man has a side-by-side, dual gloryhole. It’s impossible for one person to do this from two gloryholes at the same time, so I’m not sure what the advantage is here, other than perhaps to watch the guy next to you at the same time. Anyhow, this is pretty weird. Is there such competition in gloryhole spots that you have to offer something unique? Warning: explicit picture.
  • This is almost as weird as the first post: here’s a virulently nonsmoking guy who wants to give a smoking woman oral sex, while she is smoking of course. I’m trying really hard but I can’t for the life of me figure out why this would be a turn on.
  • Speaking of cleanups on aisle 3, here’s the reverse of that previous poster: a 32-year-old guy from Ashburn who claims he has not had an orgasm in weeks is looking for a couple to suck him off. It’s not that he’s particularly bisexual, he’s just a realist and knows Craigslist well enough to figure out that two women won’t respond. So he’s willing to compromise. I still doubt he will get any replies except from two guys maybe.
  • Here’s a guy in Culpeper with an explicit photo of his penis. No big deal there, of course, but this 29-year-old man wants to prove just how much manhood he has, so he as a ruler next to it. Only it’s a fuzzy picture so you really can’t tell how well he “measures up”. He just wants to plunge into you right now and no, he won’t host, which most likely means that he is married — or that he lives in a pigsty. Of course, the married thing is rarely an issue with Craigslist casual encounters readers. While the ruler can’t hurt, his is one of so many similar posts it will simply get lost in the pile, and not a whole lot of women in Culpeper are likely to be reading Craigslist on a Saturday night anyhow. Sorry dude, but you’ll find it necessary to take this problem into your own hands for a solution tonight.

Anyhow, in my mind the first poster wins this month’s award for the most bizarre and/or disturbing post. Congrats, or something.

 
The Thinker

Craigslist casual encounters weirdness: July 2014 edition

Those wondering if I would stop these monthly reviews of Craigslist’s casual encounters area now have an answer: no, at least not quite yet. I count at least 311 page requests for my Craigslist content in the last thirty days, which is more than ten percent of my overall page views, so it’s reason to keep at this. Moreover, 31 of those were for June’s post and 18 were for May’s. These posts also write themselves; so I don’t have to think too much, just scan the ads for more lurid titles and flag the ones that look particularly unusual. For statistics purposes I see in the first page of listings:

  • 44 men looking for men
  • 38 men looking for women
  • 5 men looking for couples
  • 5 men looking for transvestites/transgender
  • 5 women looking for men
  • 5 women looking for women
  • 3 couples looking for women

While this content is clearly not high art, it does appeal to those of us with prurient or just bizarre tastes and I have some. So here we go with an Independence Day weekend review of the Northern Virginia edition of Craigslist Casual Encounters:

  • There seems to be an oversupply of wimpy husbands these days. Women want a man to take charge. Here’s a 27-year-old woman who rather than seek some marriage counseling wants you (a guy) to come on over and show both of them who’s boss, i.e. screw her while he watches, except he doesn’t seem to want to have anything to do with this. I don’t care how horny you are, you can feel the bad karma. Just how many times do you want to reincarnate and go through these pathetic scenarios anyhow?
  • Most women on their period simply take out the Kotex. Some women though see mensuration is an opportunity for kinky sex. If the idea of mensuration plus cunnilingus appeals to you, check this 48-year-old woman out. Perhaps this would appeal to you if you like your steaks cooked rare.
  • Here’s a woman, age unknown that wants a date. She is looking for romance. Clearly she has no idea of what Craigslist Casual Encounters is about. Doubtless from her inbox stuffed with crass one-liners and penis pictures, she does now. She apparently is a firefighter, but I don’t think she is trained to put out these kinds of fires. Maybe she should hook up with this firefighter who may be sleeping in the next bunk.
  • Ms. Right Now wants her orifices filled up right now and you can see some of them in her X-rated picture. It has to be tonight and it has to be in Titusville, yes Titusville, Florida, not Northern Virginia, which is 841 miles away and 12 hours and 11 minutes away by car according to Google Maps. Good lucks guys. May the fastest hot rod win.
  • There are actually some successful casual encounters on Craigslist. This 27-year-old woman from Alexandria fondly remembers those with a man named Michael S. Apparently they were well acquainted with every NoTel Motel between Alexandria and Fredericksburg. She’s actually hoping he hasn’t reformed because she wants one more close encounter of the kinky kind.
  • She is probably a guy but anyhow he’s looking to sell his girlfriend’s panties while she is out of town. He promises that you can at least see a picture of whose intimates you will be sniffing. I’m gathering he ran out of drug money and I am hoping she is running away from this loser for good.
  • Another bi-curious 21-year-old blonde looking for a woman, but whose picture will break men’s hearts. She wants to be shown the ropes, but curiously doesn’t indicate any curiosity about bondage.
  • I’m trying to figure out why a guy would buy a Sybian. Moreover, from the title of the ad he’s only 20 years old. If you actually read the ad you will learn that he’s actually in his early 30s. In any event, it looks cheap and no matter how good the vibrations, this doesn’t look worth $1,345.
  • She’s a very generous 26-year-old wife: she wants to give her husband the pleasure of a threesome. You must be a woman under 35.
  • The whole adult nursing relationship thing is new to me, and I’m pretty sure I was weaned too early. Here’s a 32-year-old man from Fairfax Station who must have skipped the experience altogether and wants to make up for lost time. Apparently all the woman has to do is take her top off. It’s not sex I guess if it’s only breast play.
  • I’m not sure but I think he’s an aspiring actor for The Bing Bang Theory. Anyhow he’s 26, geeky as all get out, with big dorky glasses and he wants his first anal experience, presumably with a woman.
  • He’s a 21-year-old “straight” looking for oral sex from a guy, but only with a condom on but to hedge his bets you must also be clean. This “straight” guy needs to watch Kinsey because he ain’t.
  • Ugh. This nearby 60-year-old gay man is looking to perform oral sex with Latino guys only. It’s not their ethnicity that bothers me, but that he also wants to be urinated all over. Oral sex I understand, but I just don’t get the whole urination as kink thing. Uncircumcised is preferred.
  • Can 35-year-old men be “boys”? I guess they can in the crazy world of Craigslist. This submissive “boy”, who is actually 40, is still looking for his daddy. I hope he isn’t bothered if his older man has erectile dysfunction too, because that’s likely to be the case.
  • Bi-curious goes both ways. A local 48-year-old married man is looking for a guy for oral sex. He won’t host naturally and car play is not his thing. I’m hoping he doesn’t have regular sex with his wife.

More next month.

 
The Thinker

Craigslist casual encounter weirdness: June 2014 edition

I note at least 241 page views for my Craigslist casual encounters posts last month, down a little, but still a significant source of my site’s traffic. As I have been doing this for about a year now, I’ve come to realize that because on Craigslist the weird is ordinary, at some point these reviews must lose their shock value, kind of like pornography. So those of you who prefer I ditch this stuff and provide my more civilized content instead, well, I may indulge you soon. I find that scanning this stuff in the hopes of getting more traffic is increasingly less interesting, probably because I am doing it more frequently. Meanwhile, what’s up on this Wednesday night in the weird world of Craigslist Casual Encounters, Washington D.C. edition? Warning: following links may take you to photos with sexually explicit content.

Quick counts on the first page of listings: 39 men looking for women, 44 men looking for men, 3 men looking for a couple, 1 man looking for multiple women, 1 man looking for multiple men, and 4 men looking for transvestites/transgender women. Among the alleged women posting, 9 women are looking for men, and no women are looking for anyone else. No couples looking tonight either. I guess they are too busy giving the kids baths and checking their homework. 3 transvestites/transgenders are looking for men.

  • Among the latter is a “Magnum XL Girl” with ten inches between her legs. “She” is only 23, or so she says, she’s in a fishnet but I’m not sure how great a catch she is as this is one experience I definitely don’t plan to have, but if I were to judge transvestites on appearance alone, she’d be an 8. She says she has a real ten incher “Magnum”, but I’m guessing it’s closer to eight inches. She may be black and Dominican, but she doesn’t come free. “Nasty gifts are required.” The STDs you may pick up come at no extra charge. Since ads with phone numbers are usually flagged, she posts her phone number in a photo instead. Dial 202-631-8966 if you like playing her game of Russian roulette.
  • Among the men looking for men is a true submissive who is open to anything, quite literally. Pick your orifice but you don’t have to limit them to just one. He’s a 20-year-old trim college boy that looks more boy than man and in tight blue briefs. He’s amenable to being tied down (and his picture proves it) and — this is weird — you can cover his whole body in lube. In that case, you had better bring an extra tube of lube and a rubber sheet, but be careful: he might slip away on you.
  • Need to get pregnant? Here’s a 23-year-old man who says, “i don’t care” if you are looking to get pregnant, or if you are married. In other words, he’s so highly strung on testosterone that he is the human equivalent of a tomcat in heat and he is anxious to make a deposit providing it is made deep in a woman’s traditional spot. In a way it’s good that he is posting on Craigslist, because he won’t get any responses, and if he were capable of thinking about this for half a second, he’d realize what a jackass of an idea this is. He posts his phone number but only accepts texts.
  • Looks like it’s my big opportunity to have carnal knowledge of a woman my daughter’s age, actually a couple of years younger than her, which sounds more than a little creepy. “I’m a female, 22, hwp. I really want to get with an older guy (in his 40′s, 50′s). Respond with a pic!” For a while there was a “Shades of Grey” thing going on among Craigslist women. No mention of that here, or of any craving to be a submissive or a masochist. She’d have to look hard to find my grey. Anyhow, it looks like I already have a ring on my finger, so no thanks! Also, I’d prefer not to have my picture posted across the Internet. What really motivates this woman? Most likely she is looking for a monetary reward and/or some blackmail. Expect a recurring donation on your Mastercard.
  • A 25-year-old Silver Spring, Maryland woman wants to know if I have a craving for chocolate. Yes, please, dark chocolate, preferably those addictive dark chocolate peanuts from Wegmans! Oh wait, she means do I have a craving for very obese black women. Umm, not in particular. But it was courteous of you to ask, I guess.
  • Now this is definitely weird, even for Craigslist! A 24-year-old Germantown woman wants guys to do a drive by jerk off into a condom. She just wants to watch and maybe direct you. It doesn’t appear that she wants to touch you. But when you are done and have reached your ecstasy, you need to give her your filled up condom. Maybe she should hook up with that third poster. I really think she just wants to get pregnant but doesn’t want intercourse, so perhaps she’s a lesbian with a maternal instinct. The saddest part of this ad is that there are so many horny men in the area that if she is serious she’ll get plenty of offers. My bet: “she” is actually a he, probably a cross-dressing he.
  • A black woman from Prince Georges County in Maryland is looking for a stud woman. How is this possible? She looks cute enough from her selfie. She also has a strap-on that she wants to use, and is very freaky but also is looking for a friend. So if you are a freaky and friendly lesbian or bi woman not over size 12, hit her up.
  • I knew it would be amusing to scan ads of men looking for multiple men. So many lurid titles to choose from! My favorite is this 50-year-old man from Ashburn, Virginia who posted an ad with the ever so genteel title: “Cum fuck this crossdressing bareback bottom slut and whore”. Read the ad if you want more of the same language. He likes to cross-dress but that’s not a deal killer, he just wants lots of men, or more specifically what’s between their legs, particularly after orgasm. While he says he is a tramp whore, he still has at least one standard: you got to be freshly showered, dudes!
  • Okay, just one more of these otherwise I am likely to go blind. Here’s a 29-year-old woman in D.C. into business travelers. She is attracted to single men under 40 who are tall and attractive. She however is a “curvy/BBW real woman”. I suspect any traveling businessman will prefer to hit up the hotel bar instead.

The woman looking for filled up condoms wins my creepy post of the month. More maybe next month.

 
The Thinker

Craigslist casual encounter weirdness: May 2014 edition

Spring has definitely sprung at last. Our lawn in carpeted with blossoms from our flowering trees. There is nothing like spring to also get the human sex hormones surging. My local Northern Virginia Craigslist casual encounters area seemed unusually pedestrian over our cold winter. I think some libidos went into hibernation. Are they out yet?

First, a quick check on my Craigslist Google Analytics statistics. I count at least 257 page requests for Craigslist casual encounters posts during April. There are also quite a few through Feedburner, but it’s harder to count those, so I won’t. So these posts remain popular, although perhaps a bit less so than last year. Also, let me do a quick check to see how many are posting for what. In the latest 100 posts that came up in my browser, I found 52 men looking for women, 33 men looking for men, one couple looking for a man, one couple looking for a woman, 3 men looking for transvestites, 5 women looking for men and just one woman (actually a lesbian couple) looking for a woman. There are also 5 transvestites looking for men. As usual, links may take you to ads with sexually explicit pictures.

  • Let’s start with a she-male from Alexandria. There “she” is, in panties, butthole available to the world in her selfie, but with most of her male parts hidden. Looks like the hormone treatment has just started because she doesn’t have much in the way of chest assets yet. “She” is Asian, but won’t provide her age (I’ll guess 30ish) and doesn’t say much of what she wants outside of the hot men in the title. She does say “Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm” and “mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm”.
  • Here’s a married 52-year-old man from Loudoun County who has figured an escape clause around the whole cheating thing. He just wants to jerk off for you, providing you are a woman. There’s no sexual contact, if he’s true to his word. It also doesn’t qualify as an emotional affair, unless you count his grunting when he makes his climax. Anyhow, he’s got explicit pictures of his glory spot and he looks trim for a six-foot guy. I doubt he’ll get any takers so he might want to try using a webcam to show off instead. You can also see other pictures of him in this ad. Apparently he doesn’t have much else to do today but take naughty selfies.
  • I thought gloryholes were just legend around here because there aren’t too many places in the area grungy enough and disreputable enough to have them. This is because real estate around here is too expensive. Here’s how one gay guy got around the problem: he built his own gloryhole three feet inside his apartment made of plywood. I hope he got permission from the landlord. He’s 44, in the Rosslyn area and prefers them young. I do wonder why a guy would want a gloryhole. It’s no shame to be gay anymore, so why the anonymity?
  • A 28-year-old married man wants to be treated like shit by a woman. This seems a strange request, since it suggests that his wife must actually treat him well, and he finds satisfaction from being treated badly. He doesn’t even need sex, just wants to serve. Sounds like he has a bad case of submission fever and is so ashamed he can’t even tell his wife about it.
  • Here’s a twist: a 33-year-old bi-guy is looking for a bi-girl. He looks so metrosexual with his tousled hair and loose tie in his selfie. He may be bi and good looking, but apparently he doesn’t get much. It’s been a year since he’s had any sex with other than his right hand. Or maybe it’s been a year since he’s had sex with a woman. Anyhow, he wants to get laid and quick!
  • Are you into pregnant women? A 26-year-old single woman is 32 weeks pregnant, horny, and perhaps taking advantage of the fact that she can’t get further knocked up. She’s looking for an ongoing thing with a guy. I guess it’s polite not to ask about the father. She must be bi because she is also advertising for women.
  • A single Latina woman, whose pictures are in the ad but who looks too cute to be the poster, is looking to be lied to. Rather, she is looking for a “fib”. I think it’s a typo, and she wants a FWB, a Friend with Benefits. She’s into lots of things including Kyushu, which must be a new kink on Craigslist because I never heard of it before. Also, it looks like she likes Technicolor glowworms on her breasts. What’s that about?
  • And speaking of women, here’s a 26-year-old woman from Alexandria not just looking for a woman, but into a group of women. She wants your picture and in fairness she supplied her picture, at least of her privates. Oh good, she shaves down there, but apparently not in the last few days.
  • Here’s a couple in their mid 50s who are married, but not to each other, looking for a woman to join them. But really what they want are six to 10 people for one big large orgy. But since they are cheating from their respective spouses, it has to be weekdays during the day. It all sounds so dreadfully complicated.
  • Men, do you have a foot fetish? A 40-ish Fairfax couple is looking for you, or rather the female part of the couple is looking for you for what sounds like mostly a very long foot massage. It doesn’t sound like they want you for sex. I must say this lady has cute feet. Painting her toes could be fun.
  • I still don’t get the whole cuckold thing, but wimpy submissive husbands with domineering hot wives seems to the latest craze. If this is you and your missus, consider meeting other couples at a Dale City cuckolds couples party. Only the hosting couple is not a cuckold couple, he’s a black male who is dominant and she is the submissive. And he has a few black “bulls” on standby to join the party. Sounds like heaven for wimps.

So the kinky hormones must be kicking in. The pregnant woman into casual pregnant sex raised my eyebrows the most this month. Let’s see what June’s postings reveal.

 

 
The Thinker

Craigslist casual encounter weirdness: April 2014 edition

Spring has arrived in Northern Virginia, after one last snow event (not quite a snowstorm) on March 30. Flowers are coming out at last, and trees should belatedly start blooming any moment, along with probably toxic amounts of pollen. It seemed that all the snow and extremely cold weather had put a damper on my neighbors’ libidos, at least as judged by reading the Craigslist Northern Virginia casual encounter ads. For the most part there were lots of run of the mill ads, but little in the desperately strange and unusual category, which is my motivation for going there once a month. The other motivation is to get traffic to this site. There were at least 280 page views for my Craigslist posts in March, so it amounts to almost exactly ten percent of my traffic.

To get a sense of who’s posting for whom, I look at the first page and then count by various categories. There are 34 men looking for women, 43 men looking for men, 2 women looking for men, 3 women looking for women, 1 couple looking for a woman and 1 couple looking for a man. There are also 9 men looking for transvestites and 2 transvestites looking for fellow transvestites. So as usual it’s mostly a lot of horny guys, which means I’ll look past the first page to get a better sense of what “women” are looking for.

Anyhow, time to put on the dark glasses, tighten my chastity belt and head into that infamous Craigslist Twilight Zone. Warning: some links will take you to explicit pictures.

  • It’s not often you get senior citizens posting, particularly gay senior citizens. Today we have a 75-year-old man with three naked pictures of himself in Hybla Valley looking for, well, any guy for pretty much anything. Beggars can’t be choosers. At least he looks reasonably fit.
  • A 28-year-old woman from Fairfax is looking for her own gender. You don’t have to wait to see her naked in the spa, as she is open for business from the nose down in her selfie. She’s very clear she is looking for a woman, not some man pretending to be a woman, and she’s not willing to wait long. She also says: no pimps, no prostitutes and no perverts. This is obviously her first post on Craigslist and most likely her last as well if she’s going to have standards. Ladies, if you like women with broad hips and massive thighs, you’ll probably go for her.
  • A 27-year-old Asian guy is looking for a transsexual or cross dresser. His erection is only at half-mast, which makes me wonder if that prescription on the counter next to him is for Viagra.
  • Will curiosity kill the cat? A 40-year-old guy from the south side of Reston gets plenty of head from his wife and now wants to try giving it himself. He’s close to the Reston National Golf Course so perhaps you could swing by before your tee time. He doesn’t want a relationship but he does want to swallow whatever you have to give him. Somehow I’m betting this is not his first male-to-male encounter. White guys 35-55 only.
  • A 34-year-old man from Ashburn wants an older couple. You have to pick him up so I’m guessing he doesn’t have a car. What he does have is a full body shot and amazingly he’s in clothes and you can see his face. Nice goatee, dude.
  • Now this is different. Lots of guys are looking for guys, but this 44-year-old man from Centreville wants to find a guy into nylons. Sheer nude, grey or white stockings are his favorites. Guys with high arches are preferred.
  • Craigslist ads tend to be short, so if nothing else this 42-year-old guy gets some sort of award for a long and very specific ad. He’s looking for a “good girl” who wants to get in touch with her inner slut. In short, he wants to abuse you (with your consent) so when he is done you won’t know which way is up. It looks like he may tie you up as well, based on the photo with the ad. While he wants to do this to you, it’s important to know that he is otherwise normal. He’s basically just your normal guy with abusive fantasies running through his head looking for a consensual relationship. Kudos for laying it all out, but I doubt he will get any nibbles. Try fetfile.com or Washington’s Black Rose society if you are serious.
  • Couples, do you need a dominant “bull” of a man to take your wife to places she has never been before between the sheets? Lots of couples on Craigslist are looking for a BBC, and here’s a guy who qualifies and must work out in a gym twice a day because he seems to have nothing but rippling muscles. I assume those X-rated pictures are of him hard at work in previous encounters. No wonder he is particular. If I were the woman, I’d still insist he wear a condom. Make that two.
  • Here’s a married woman who wants to “play” but I think her idea of playing is to play with your wallet, since she says she likes “shopping”. An intimate picture of your nether region is required, but I think she’d prefer a picture of your credit card instead.
  • Here’s a woman who is obviously a Craigslist first timer. She wants a Salsa dancing partner. Boy is she in the wrong place!
  • So women actually do have casual encounters with men on Craigslist. Here’s proof because this 28-year-old woman from Woodbridge lost contact with her “breakfast club” buddy and wants him back! I am betting her mailbox is overwhelmed with false positives.
  • Here’s an unusual married woman whose husband is turning 40 and she wants his birthday to be memorable. She wants another woman to come on over, get in the hot tub and give him a full body massage. Don’t worry; she’s not the jealous type. I don’t know why but should any woman actually show up, I’m betting the wife is mysteriously absent.

So the guy into guys wearing nylons wins the award this month, but only by default. This month is not nearly as crazy as some postings in past months. Maybe next month the kinky hormones will be in more evidence.

 
The Thinker

Sex, the aging man and the journey toward being fully human

Men will notice some changes to their libido as they age. With rare exceptions, your libido is going to go down. This is primarily because the level of testosterone in your blood is going down. It decreases with age.

This is generally greatly disturbing to the middle aged man. That’s because they envision themselves as 20-something for life. Their hair may be receding and their gut may be expanding — all typical signs of aging in men — but somehow they figure their penis is exempt. All of this is entirely natural, but sadly a lot of this information is simply not discussed.

Physicians will usually write men a prescription for Viagra or Cialis easily enough. Rarely will physicians clue you in on what’s really likely to happen to your sex drive as you age. What it amounts to is that if you want a sex life after forty or fifty, you need to reduce your expectations. You need to stop chasing the illusion that you are 20-something. You need to communicate really well with your partner. And you need to change how you make love. That’s quite an agenda! No wonder so many men simply withdraw from sex. It’s too much pressure!

It’s also more than a little embarrassing. It used to be that erections just happened. In many cases, they arrived unwelcome and for no reason at all. Perhaps it was a fleeting memory of a previously great sexual encounter that caused you to shift legs on the subway to avoid embarrassment. When you are 40-something or older, the memory is still there, but it’s unlikely to kick off an erection. You may find that given the choice between making love to a willing and decently attractive woman and watching football, you’ll choose the football.

It’s easy for you to feel horny with relatively high levels of testosterone surging through your blood. Most men who use anti-impotence drugs soon realize that while once aroused these drugs help them maintain an erection, there is also now the issue of getting aroused. It usually helps to have a surplus of testosterone in the bloodstream to feel arousal. To the extent men have it, it comes from longer intervals between orgasms. And that’s when it becomes embarrassing. If you are used to shagging with the missus every night or every other night, maybe it’s now once a week, then biweekly, then once a month, and then maybe only on Valentine’s Day. It’s hard to tell your significant other that you just aren’t a stud anymore. Even if she is drop dead gorgeous, that’s sometimes not enough for your body to keep up with your mind.

Not that long ago this wasn’t much of a problem. This was because nature took care of the embarrassment problem, by tipping the scales that you would be dead before it mattered. Men went off to fight in wars and died nastily in the heat of a battle. Or they simply wore out chasing after sheep or hunting a saber tooth tiger. Or they were culled by the many diseases that are now easily prevented. Actually, a lot of men (and women) died from abscessed teeth. There were no schools of dentistry until recently. Now of course fewer of us serve in wars so we get to live to our doddering years. So now we are getting a close encounter with our declining sex drives, and it is often disturbing. It is made more disturbing by the simple lack of quality information on what is normal. You can find it if you look but you have to look real hard. I came across such a site, well actually just a web page, recently. Here it is.

By all means reach for the Cialis or Viagra, assuming you can afford these overpriced anti-impotence drugs. Men often use them to great effect, but soon discover that while it makes sex possible it doesn’t increase the frequency of sex or give you the chronic urge to have sex like you had as an adolescent. That usually just keeps declining with age. Some men figure out the real issue, which is why testosterone supplements are all the rage online. It doesn’t take much Googling to discover these supplements are of dubious value, and likely dangerous, probably much like estrogen supplements are dangerous for women during and after menopause.

The bottom line for men is that nature intends you to slow down. It wants you to smell the flowers instead of the scent of women. This is actually fine for most women your age. Many still want to have sex, but a lot less frequently. A frequent issue with menopause is vaginal dryness during sex, which means there will be a tube of lube in your future, as well as the Cialis, when you do have sex. Moreover, since your sex drive is declining and her sex drive is likely declining as well, you are both more likely to just cuddle instead. The exception may be when you are in your forties. Women tend to peak sexually in their forties while men start to noticeably decline sexually in their forties. That’s when it gets embarrassing for men. She wants it but you don’t necessarily want it, and you can’t always keep up with demand. And that makes you feel, well, less of a man, because real men with a hot woman can keep it up.

So what you might want to do is print out that web page and pass it on to your wife or significant other. First thing you want to do is to remove the shame factor, because shame will contribute to sexual dysfunction when what you are going through is completely normal. Second, if you do value having sex, albeit less frequently than before, you need to educate your S.O. on what she can do to increase the probability of success. You need to educate them that losing an erection during sex is normal for older men but with a decent amount of pressure it is likely to come back and if applied continuously your erection may not fade. All this takes intimate communications, usually a challenge for men who are trained to behave as if they are invulnerable and eternally youthful. If your partner loves you, then it’s not unrealistic to expect them to work with you and your aging body.

It’s also okay to now have sex and not necessarily have an orgasm. If she is horny and you are not, you can use a vibrator on her or better yet your mouth. You may get aroused to the point where you want to have sex, in which case you’ll be raring to go, or not. But most likely next time you will be in the mood. It’s okay. This is what nature intended.

Is there an upside to all this? Actually, there are many upsides for personal growth. First, sex can take on a deeper and richer meaning than it did when you were younger. It becomes more about intimacy and connection that it does about anxiously depositing semen. When you do have sex, it might well be longer and more enjoyable than when you were younger. It becomes more about making love, connecting and enjoying your partner in many dimensions. You can also become more aware that the tactile parts of lovemaking are very pleasurable too: simply touching, or caressing, looking in her eyes, nibbling her ears or kissing her can be very enjoyable.

Perhaps the biggest reason to enjoy your sexual decline is the one so rarely stated: you have the opportunity to see yourself, and your partner, as a human being with many dimensions, of which sex is but one aspect. Having spent most of your life defining yourself as a man, you may discover yourself as a human being instead. Things like sex still matter, but should matter less. You may find yourself being able to see someone as multi-dimensional, rather than as a role or an object. You may have a deeper appreciation for the experience of simply being a human.

These are some of the gifts of age, but they often require giving up some of the fallacious notions of youth and assumptions on how you should be because you are a male. This stuff is a graduate school for human relations. If you live long enough, and are brave enough to try it, you may find that this stage of life can be a great learning experience about what it means to be fully human. These are aspects of yourself that were always there, but which you ignored or deprecated. They too are precious in their own way.

Be brave and take that journey into being fully human.

 
The Thinker

Value reprogramming our children

So many of us are raising our children mostly the way our parents raised us. It’s unclear why we do this. Perhaps we assume they did a great job, considering how awesome we turned out. Since we’re so awesome, we figure we’ll simply follow their formula and we’ll have awesome children too.

Or it could be we don’t want to suffer their wrath or disappointment. Parents can hurt us, even when we are in our middle years. Most likely, we don’t analyze our approach to parenting too much; we just do it reflexively. If we were raised Catholic, junior and his sister are raised Catholic. If we played Little League, our sons play in the Little League. If we went to Girl Scouts, our daughter goes to Girl Scouts.

Raising your kid differently than you were raised takes a certain amount of courage. Obviously, it takes less courage if you realize that you were raised wrong. If Dad beat you regularly with a belt, hopefully you won’t do that to your child, although chances are you will. Value programming seems to work this way. Both the good stuff and the bad stuff tend to get passed down from generation to generation. If your father beat up your mother, there’s a good chance if you are a male that you will beat your wife. Stranger still, if you were the daughter, there is a good chance you will be in a marriage where your spouse will beat you up. It’s unclear why this is, but it may be because we unconsciously seek out spouses that have characteristics of our parents. It happened to me: I married a gal from a poor family in Michigan, just like my father. At the time, this coincidence never occurred to me, but it was probably more than coincidence, particularly since my mother and I had issues.

Parenting comes with no rewind button. Instead, parenting is a continuous stream of events and choices applied to situations at the moment. From our children’s birth to our deaths it never really ends, but there is an unofficial end when our adult children finally move out of the house. (There is a good chance they will move back in some years later.) In retrospect, all of us parents wish we could have done some things differently. You do the best you can and try to forgive yourself for your parenting mistakes.

Parenting differently than the way you were parented takes reflection and mindfulness. My parents were not particularly physically affectionate. We got little in the way of hugs and kisses. They weren’t wholly absent; just that they were the exception rather than the rule. Unsurprisingly, I grew up feeling somewhat touch deprived. Also, my parents, although I am sure they loved each other, weren’t great at demonstrating affection with each other or really doing much together, other than dutifully raising us. Since I had about a decade as a bachelor, I had time to reflect on these concerns. I made up my mind that I would not replicate them with my daughter.

So I made a point to be lavish with hugs and kisses. I told her sincerely, and often, that I loved her. When near her I made sure to put an arm over her shoulder or around her waist. I wanted her to know that healthy human relationships should be naturally intimate, and that meant touching liberally. In short, I did not want to transmit what I considered to be a poor way of being raised. I wanted her to feel connection and intimacy. This meant more than words; it meant the constant pleasure and communication of touch. It’s delightful to see her as an adult being still so physically demonstrative with us.

My parents picked up something of a Puritan ethos common from their era. It meant the father made most of the major decisions, the mother’s role was to be supportive and children were supposed to quickly learn their place. It was generally understood that as children we were inexperienced and thus our parents knew best. We were told not just from them, but also from society in general, that our parents were our ultimate guides in life and to trust them implicitly. In general, the boys in our family learned that most emotions were better left bottled up, because we never saw dad cry or even get very upset.

Of course, society is a lot different now compared to then. The United States has more than doubled its population in my lifetime. Values have changed quite a bit as well. In the 1960s I did not know homosexuals existed. Today they have civil rights that were denied them including, increasingly, the right to marry. My country is much more ethnic in general too. I had to figure out how to put all this together in my parenting. It was not always easy and often it was lonely.

I had virtually no sex education, as was true of most of us Baby Boomers. I had to depend on factual books like Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex to get some rudimentary education. Reading about sex as opposed to experiencing it, of course, is quite different. Schools now generally teach sex education, but it is largely superficial. Certain topics are frequently off limits. Parents can teach their children sex education, but it is generally an awkward experience. It is better to come from an authoritative but independent source. Mostly, I didn’t want my daughter to start her sex life sexually ignorant. She needed a real grounding, both on the biological facts but on the physical and emotional issues of being a sexual person. I found such a program at my Unitarian Universalist Church: Our Whole Lives, wherein all these topics were discussed candidly but with trained facilitators. There is no question about it: sex is a big, complex and icky topic. But better to make sure she started with a firm foundation than to be ignorant and make the stupid mistakes I did when I became sexually awake.

Sex education is just one area where I deviated from the values I was taught. While many were the same (love, compassion, neighborliness, the importance of education) many were also different. I taught respect for people regardless of sex, race, religion or (the hard one) because they have different beliefs than me. I told her that I was a human being, not a god, and thus I make mistakes. I encouraged those values that helped me succeed, some that worked (reading, debate) and some that did not stick (striving for excellence, exercise and diet). In the end, like me, my daughter had a lot to absorb, analyze and figure out what was right for her.

At least she appreciates the complexity of our modern world. It is far more complex than it was when I was her age. No wonder then that today adolescence seems to extend well into their twenties. It’s quite a brain dump we give our children, and harder than ever for them to structure it in a way that will help them deal with their reality.

At the same time, my daring experience at value reprogramming has been satisfying. My parents did the best they could to set my values with the skills they had at the time. I did my best as well. I am glad I did not simply parrot the way I was raised, but trusted my own judgment instead. I used values that seemed to work (thriftiness, for example) and discarded what did not seem to work (religious orthodoxy).

My daughter says she won’t have a child, but she is toying with the idea of adopting a child when she is self sufficient enough. If that time comes, I hope she is smart enough to do what I did: and discard those things about the way we raised her that did not work, and substitute her own judgment of the modern world as she perceives it.

 
The Thinker

Craigslist casual encounters weirdness: March 2014 edition

At the start of the year I mentioned that the weather outside was frightful. It hadn’t seemed to cool the libidos of my fellow Northern Virginians, at least those that hang out on Craigslist Casual Encounters hoping against hope to score some kinky shenanigans despite the largely impassible roads and the single digit temperatures, not to mention the wan hopes of actually succeeding on scoring on Craigslist.

Two months later the weather outside is still frightful. The polar vortex does not want to leave the area. It’s snowing with a fresh accumulation of up to nine inches of snow predicted by later today. The temperature is in the teens, eighteen degrees to be specific. If there is to be a spring thaw at last, perhaps it will come from the unleashed heat of my fellow horny Northern Virginians.

But first a quick report from the statistics desk. Last month I neglected to give a report on my Craigslist casual encounters hits. I got at least 323 page views for this stuff in January, and at least 272 in February. I say “at least” because I can’t convince Google Analytics to show me more than the top ten pages with “Craigslist” in the title. Regardless, there remains plenty of public interest in these reports, so I feel an obligation to keep them, er, coming, so to speak. Bringing up the first page in my browser, I can see it is mostly men advertising for, well, anyone. There are 67 men looking for women, 25 men looking for men, just 1 woman looking for a man, 2 women looking for a woman, 1 couple looking for a man and 1 couple looking for a woman. So I’ll have to expand the scope beyond the first page to include a disproportionate number of women.

Warning: links may take you to sexually explicit content. Let’s dig into the snow and the posts in the Craigslist Casual Encounters area for Northern Virginia:

  • A 32-year-old guy from, well, it’s not clear exactly but he’s looking at a territory from Leesburg to Reston, wants to know why it’s so hard to find a good friend with benefits. This is not too “hard”. First, consider the fact that most women, even here on Craigslist, probably don’t want to see a picture of your hard dick when viewing your ad. News alert: most women probably won’t swoon at a dick picture. Based on the minimal postings by women, it’s also probably because no one is reading your ad except, well, me, and purely for the purpose of statistical sampling. And I can assure you that your ad does nothing for me other than make me chuckle and shake my head at your cluelessness.
  • Here’s a guy who has a solution on how to have sex in spite of the snow: make it virtual! He wants to do a web cam show with a woman featuring his hand stroking his penis. But what’s the point? There is nothing to discover. You can see his tight abs and his dick easily enough because he’s posted pictures of both. He says doesn’t care what you look like, which is good because you can’t tell who is viewing you anyhow, which suggests that his viewers will actually be men perhaps pretending to be women.
  • I’m still trying to figure out how a guy can have sex with another couple and still claim he is straight. Anyhow, that’s what this 42-year-old guy with, sigh, yet another dick picture wants to do, and he is hosting in his “upscale” Arlington hotel. Only, I’m not sure the Metro is running in this snow. He wants the couple to be between 45 and 60. I suspect he’ll be ordering a lot of room service and to the extent he gets off, it will be from watching naughty pay per view movies on TV instead.
  • Why don’t some men just say they are bisexual already? They can’t quite form the words. But when you are a man advertising you want to try the cuckold side of a relationship that probably means you get leftovers, quite literally, which suggests to me you are bisexual. Anyhow, this 38-year-old man from Burke has a picture to suggest what he has in mind in his supplicant role. Careful what you wish for, Burke guy.
  • Here’s a 52-year-old gay guy from my area looking for another guy. He isn’t going to let snow stop him from getting off. He’s got a four-wheel drive vehicle and he wants to drop by for whatever you want him to do to you. I assume there is no delivery charge.
  • You would think if you were 63 years old, you wouldn’t be too choosy. Not all 63-year-old men have gotten the message, because here’s such a guy looking for a transvestite, but not just any transvestite or transgender. You must be between the ages of 18-30, have very high heels, a revealing outfit and must pose and/or dance. Oh and you also need to be clean and personable. He does not mention anything about having a four-wheel drive vehicle to facilitate transportation in this snow but that doesn’t matter. He’s written an ad guaranteed to attract no one. Oh, and he’s also married. It’s unclear if his wife will be watching, but I’m guessing she is clueless and if not she is laughing her ass off and wondering how she ended up marrying such a dweeb.
  • When the title of your ad is “{{{==== cUm bEnd Me oVer My bEd===}}” there is a 99.9% chance that this “woman” is actually a troll or a spammer. Most likely if you click on this ad it will have been flagged for removal. Go ahead and test my theory. Expect to see at least a dozen more like this posted over the course of today.
  • Oh dear. Here’s a 38-year-old woman from nearby Chantilly that wants you to come by and basically beat her up, but with a strap. It’s something about being stressed out or something. She also wants oral sex and intercourse but as written it has to be done with your strap, not your mouth or penis, which I think is physically impossible. It’s okay to bring drugs too.
  • A 20-year-old voluptuous woman in Fairfax County is looking for what appears to be a first close encounter with her own gender. She has three selfies to show you what she is all about. I will say she has an impressive rack. Meanwhile, a sexy 33-year-old dominant Latina with impressive shades is also looking for her own gender. Since she wants someone younger, perhaps she should hook up with the former poster.
  • A 42-year-old biracial couple (woman white, man black) wants to add a woman. They want to play in the snow, although it’s unclear which kind of white powder they mean. Looks like they can go skiing either way.

More next month.

 
The Thinker

Craigslist casual encounters weirdness: February 2014 edition

Another month has come and gone. In January, I noted that the cold weather seemed to have dampened the libidos of my neighbors in Northern Virginia, at least in its Craigslist casual encounters area. A month later it is still cold but the libidos of my neighbors seem to be undergoing a bit of a spring thaw. I expect a plethora of kinkiness in March, but we’ll see.

Anyhow, here’s a review of a sampling of the ads I found today. Congrats to these winners, or something, for being selected from the heap of Craigslist casual encounter ads posted, because this post as is close as these ads will ever come to immortality.

  • A bisexual couple in their 30’s is looking for a “shemale” or transsexual male, which the male of the couple wants to “bottom”, quite literally, while presumably his DD-endowed curvy wife watches. I thought for a moment they were from New Jersey, since their location is listed as Exit 133, but it’s in Fredericksburg. Some minutes earlier likely the same couple posted another ad, this one for a submissive female or couple. To screen couples, you have to put her bra size in the subject of the email. I’m guessing they are not interested in AAs. Considering they want two sets of partners, I have to wonder just how “safe” they are.
  • Women, did you know that being in your 40s makes you older? It does to this 22-year-old woman from Alexandria who wants an older woman in this age range who is dominant and wants to make her be very nasty.
  • Ladies, want to get your fix for free? Whoops, this 34-year-old guy means do you want to party, and since he’s providing drugs it’s the same thing. Curiously he makes no mention of wanting to have sex with you too. I guess the mutual high he expects to have beats an orgasm. Party on, dude.
  • A bunch of young adults in Arlington, all male except for one submissive Asian female who you might say is the hostess, both figuratively and literally, are planning an orgy but you must be under 30 and preferably under 25. No beards or whiskers are allowed, but well endowed men are greatly preferred. Sorry, no gay or bi men are allowed.
  • A 28-year-old man from Herndon is looking for an exhibitionist woman to show off for him. He’s not looking for a private party, but wants to do this in public for their mutual titillation, quite literally. Based on his photos, he prefers panty-less women bending over in supermarket aisles. Good luck, dude, but I bet you’ll be wanking off to porn tonight instead. Here’s a suggestion: try a Wal-Mart. Occasionally they get female flashers but if you squint hard you can pretend those back boobs are on the front. You can also see guys with breasts there. Unfortunately, there’s no Wal-Marts in Herndon, but maybe the local Kohl’s will work.
  • A 25-year-old dude from Prince William County, who naturally assumes women will swoon over a picture of his engorged penis, so he’s posting it, is looking for a lonely housewife. How interesting. Hasn’t he learned that the only housewives left are in Mormon sections of Utah? So unless he moves there he is going to be disappointed.
  • I hardly know what to say about this one. Okay, I’m saying something. A 42-year-old submissive bi guy is into women’s nylon panties, specifically wearing them, and he wants to be topped by something other than his dildo for the very first time. Yes, he’s a butt virgin ready to be deflowered. He has six and a half inches and a photo to prove it, but what I find kind of mesmerizing is him wearing those green nylon girly panties. It’s mesmerizing in the same way passing a grisly car wreck is mesmerizing.
  • Ladies, are you overextended on your credit card? Willing to do almost anything to get rid of that outstanding balance? A 47-year-old man from Manassas claims he will take care of your credit card problem if you spend this evening masturbating with him.
  • Do you know what a glory hole is? If not, I assume you will Google it. Anyhow, here’s the thing about glory holes and Craigslist: since you never see the person that will give some glory to the male, the giver of this oral pleasure is always a guy. So basically it’s about a gay guy getting some action. So word to the wise to heterosexual men: avoid ads like this one.
  • Speaking as a heterosexual man, it’s always a bit sad when a woman posts for a woman and she’s a hottie. This means we can’t have her, and that makes me cry. She’s 31 and from well-moneyed Great Falls and most men would be baying at the moon after just seeing her picture. But we are off limits. And come to think of it, I’m pushing twice her age and have a wedding ring. Oh well.
  • Some ads get repeated daily or more often and thus have a reputation. I’ve been scanning these ads long enough now to know that this couple in search of voyeurs are just dope heads just interested in your wallet and getting their next high. Worse, they look like hell, so you won’t want to see them even with their clothes on. A couple of times a week at least they will scam someone and a red-faced scammee will write a post saying to avoid them. As with all things in their casual encounters area, it’s best to channel Nancy Reagan and just say no.

More next month.

 
The Thinker

Craigslist casual encounters weirdness: January 2014 Edition

(Warning: this post is Rated R and some of the ads link to X-rated pictures.)

Oh the weather outside is frightful, as is curiously the Craigslist Casual Encounters Northern Virginia edition on this second day of the New Year. It sounds crass to say it’s always the guys who are horny on this site, but that’s generally the case. I pulled up the first page of ads, as I always do, and found 53 men looking for women ads, 32 men looking for men ads, 4 women looking for men ads and 2 women looking for women ads. There is also one couple looking for a woman and one guy looking for a couple. So shed a tear, but only a small one, for the many guys out there with surging hormones and little chance of finding relief on Craigslist. They are all busy casting lures into a small pond for the one fish that probably isn’t there.

So I’m going beyond the first page this month, simply because men looking for anyone ads are generally so boring. So ladies first please.

  • Lisa is looking for a woman for her new FWB (friend with benefits) and is wearing a pink bra and a big smile. She’s after a woman, of course, but she doesn’t mind a man if you bring one along. He is limited to watching politely only. Okay, I’ll bite. Unfortunately, my wife isn’t interested so any ladies who want to try Lisa and bring along a man, hit me up! I figure just looking is not cheating.
  • Some men are so horny to even have a chance that their ad will be read by a woman that they will advertise as a woman in hopes of snagging a lesbian. But get this, he is not up for sex or a relationship, but “I’m up for oral and masturbation and nipple play ect”. My goodness! He must have studied at the Bill Clinton (“I did not have sex with that woman”) School of Sex.
  • A 28-year-old woman from Manassas is one of the few women looking for a guy tonight. “Def looking to go skiing and 420 is always a plus. Gonna be in the area for a few HH beers!” Yes, it’s snowing outside but she doesn’t mean to hit the ski slopes. She’s looking for a line or two of cocaine. “420” of course is the buzzword for drugs, so other forms of dope are welcome too. So basically she’s looking to do drugs and hopes the guy will supply her fix(es). Curiously her ad makes no promise of what the guy really wants: sex. The ending is good for a chuckle: “Please no creepers”. Geez, you creep me out lady!
  • Here’s a 43-year-old married white male looking for a guy. Lots of married men want their own sex, of course, and usually their wives don’t have a clue. I assume he is worried about STDs because he specifically asks for a “butt virgin or near virgin”, ideally 18 but he will go up to age 40. He likes his candidate orifices tight but he is also open to fisting. If you don’t know what it is, look it up. Suffice to say it is not for any “virgin” orifice. You must send a picture of your derriere. He must be expecting a crowd of applicants, so if you have thong panties or a jock strap you will move to the front of his line.
  • Good lord, Craigslist men don’t even screen applicants anymore. Here’s a guy in Room 302 at the Manassas Park Red Roof Inn, door ajar, blindfolded, naked, butt in the air and waiting for another guy. I guess he won’t be checking replies to his ad. If you are not prepared, don’t worry. He has condoms and lube.
  • A 40-year-old local man is open to anything, as long as it’s with a woman. So if you are a woman and you want to try something you have been denied to see if you like it and without fear of embarrassment, I guess this is your chance. He’s worried that the woman might be scared to try it so he offers all sorts of reassuring words. However, he’s not worried they won’t be more scared to contact some stranger on the Internet. Go figure. To weed out spam he requires you to put “let’s try this” in the subject line.
  • Ladies, are you embarrassed because you have puny breasts? This guy in Alexandria prefers them, and the smaller the better.
  • Horny heterosexual men: there is some hope for you tonight, as long as you don’t mind having sex with a 50-year-old couple, or more specifically a 50-year-old submissive woman, and you don’t mind tag teaming with her husband. You need to be in your mid thirties, a dominant and not mind working with another dominant. There’s a picture of the woman you get to dominate, at least from below the neck. I personally would give her the pass.
  • 69-year-old men still have hormones, but this 69’er just wants a woman to lick between her legs. I’m guessing he suffers from erectile dysfunction. The good news is that while he’s old, he’s at least “generous”, which is the code word for he’ll pay for the privilege. I guess at his age that’s likely the only way it’s going to happen. There’s another ad from a 69’er that I think is the same man.
  • Ladies, admit it: most of you want to try a black man. Moreover, you really want a strong black man, and this apparent 30-year-old neighbor of mine from nearby Herndon has pictures to show you he and Charles Atlas have much in common. As for what’s below his belt, if you are curious you can see it too instead of waiting to see it in person. I’m not sure though but I think he may be a gigolo, as he has cleverly embedded his phone number in the ad in a way so it won’t get automatically flagged.
  • Looking to cuddle up on a cold night when temperatures will drop into the single digits? A 45-year-old Reston man can accommodate, your place or his and he swears he is single (well divorced) and STD free. Plus, you get the bonus of body heat and maybe watching the snow fall between each bout of passion.
  • How to put this delicately: here’s a guy (warning: extremely explicit picture) who wants to have his orgasm in a woman’s mouth, preferably women’s mouths. He has a very explicit picture to show you what he has in mind, but I’m thinking even the horny women aren’t going to want to see this. As for two girls at once, he claims he’s done it before. I wonder: how much did it cost him? He’s apparently got a room with all the equipment and straps to make sure you will be immobilized.
  • Any ladies want to try a beaver bong (warning: explicit pictures)? Wow, this is a new one for me! I might go for the bong but not the beaver. Congratulations to this 25-year-old Arlington man for posting the weirdest post of the month.

As for my Craigslist statistics, I count 271 posts in December for Craigslist, versus 302 in November. Either the quality of my writing has gone done, or testosterone levels drop in December.

More in February.

 

Switch to our mobile site