Posts Tagged ‘Sexuality’

The Thinker

Craigslist casual encounter weirdness: April 2014 edition

Spring has arrived in Northern Virginia, after one last snow event (not quite a snowstorm) on March 30. Flowers are coming out at last, and trees should belatedly start blooming any moment, along with probably toxic amounts of pollen. It seemed that all the snow and extremely cold weather had put a damper on my neighbors’ libidos, at least as judged by reading the Craigslist Northern Virginia casual encounter ads. For the most part there were lots of run of the mill ads, but little in the desperately strange and unusual category, which is my motivation for going there once a month. The other motivation is to get traffic to this site. There were at least 280 page views for my Craigslist posts in March, so it amounts to almost exactly ten percent of my traffic.

To get a sense of who’s posting for whom, I look at the first page and then count by various categories. There are 34 men looking for women, 43 men looking for men, 2 women looking for men, 3 women looking for women, 1 couple looking for a woman and 1 couple looking for a man. There are also 9 men looking for transvestites and 2 transvestites looking for fellow transvestites. So as usual it’s mostly a lot of horny guys, which means I’ll look past the first page to get a better sense of what “women” are looking for.

Anyhow, time to put on the dark glasses, tighten my chastity belt and head into that infamous Craigslist Twilight Zone. Warning: some links will take you to explicit pictures.

  • It’s not often you get senior citizens posting, particularly gay senior citizens. Today we have a 75-year-old man with three naked pictures of himself in Hybla Valley looking for, well, any guy for pretty much anything. Beggars can’t be choosers. At least he looks reasonably fit.
  • A 28-year-old woman from Fairfax is looking for her own gender. You don’t have to wait to see her naked in the spa, as she is open for business from the nose down in her selfie. She’s very clear she is looking for a woman, not some man pretending to be a woman, and she’s not willing to wait long. She also says: no pimps, no prostitutes and no perverts. This is obviously her first post on Craigslist and most likely her last as well if she’s going to have standards. Ladies, if you like women with broad hips and massive thighs, you’ll probably go for her.
  • A 27-year-old Asian guy is looking for a transsexual or cross dresser. His erection is only at half-mast, which makes me wonder if that prescription on the counter next to him is for Viagra.
  • Will curiosity kill the cat? A 40-year-old guy from the south side of Reston gets plenty of head from his wife and now wants to try giving it himself. He’s close to the Reston National Golf Course so perhaps you could swing by before your tee time. He doesn’t want a relationship but he does want to swallow whatever you have to give him. Somehow I’m betting this is not his first male-to-male encounter. White guys 35-55 only.
  • A 34-year-old man from Ashburn wants an older couple. You have to pick him up so I’m guessing he doesn’t have a car. What he does have is a full body shot and amazingly he’s in clothes and you can see his face. Nice goatee, dude.
  • Now this is different. Lots of guys are looking for guys, but this 44-year-old man from Centreville wants to find a guy into nylons. Sheer nude, grey or white stockings are his favorites. Guys with high arches are preferred.
  • Craigslist ads tend to be short, so if nothing else this 42-year-old guy gets some sort of award for a long and very specific ad. He’s looking for a “good girl” who wants to get in touch with her inner slut. In short, he wants to abuse you (with your consent) so when he is done you won’t know which way is up. It looks like he may tie you up as well, based on the photo with the ad. While he wants to do this to you, it’s important to know that he is otherwise normal. He’s basically just your normal guy with abusive fantasies running through his head looking for a consensual relationship. Kudos for laying it all out, but I doubt he will get any nibbles. Try fetfile.com or Washington’s Black Rose society if you are serious.
  • Couples, do you need a dominant “bull” of a man to take your wife to places she has never been before between the sheets? Lots of couples on Craigslist are looking for a BBC, and here’s a guy who qualifies and must work out in a gym twice a day because he seems to have nothing but rippling muscles. I assume those X-rated pictures are of him hard at work in previous encounters. No wonder he is particular. If I were the woman, I’d still insist he wear a condom. Make that two.
  • Here’s a married woman who wants to “play” but I think her idea of playing is to play with your wallet, since she says she likes “shopping”. An intimate picture of your nether region is required, but I think she’d prefer a picture of your credit card instead.
  • Here’s a woman who is obviously a Craigslist first timer. She wants a Salsa dancing partner. Boy is she in the wrong place!
  • So women actually do have casual encounters with men on Craigslist. Here’s proof because this 28-year-old woman from Woodbridge lost contact with her “breakfast club” buddy and wants him back! I am betting her mailbox is overwhelmed with false positives.
  • Here’s an unusual married woman whose husband is turning 40 and she wants his birthday to be memorable. She wants another woman to come on over, get in the hot tub and give him a full body massage. Don’t worry; she’s not the jealous type. I don’t know why but should any woman actually show up, I’m betting the wife is mysteriously absent.

So the guy into guys wearing nylons wins the award this month, but only by default. This month is not nearly as crazy as some postings in past months. Maybe next month the kinky hormones will be in more evidence.

 
The Thinker

Sex, the aging man and the journey toward being fully human

Men will notice some changes to their libido as they age. With rare exceptions, your libido is going to go down. This is primarily because the level of testosterone in your blood is going down. It decreases with age.

This is generally greatly disturbing to the middle aged man. That’s because they envision themselves as 20-something for life. Their hair may be receding and their gut may be expanding — all typical signs of aging in men — but somehow they figure their penis is exempt. All of this is entirely natural, but sadly a lot of this information is simply not discussed.

Physicians will usually write men a prescription for Viagra or Cialis easily enough. Rarely will physicians clue you in on what’s really likely to happen to your sex drive as you age. What it amounts to is that if you want a sex life after forty or fifty, you need to reduce your expectations. You need to stop chasing the illusion that you are 20-something. You need to communicate really well with your partner. And you need to change how you make love. That’s quite an agenda! No wonder so many men simply withdraw from sex. It’s too much pressure!

It’s also more than a little embarrassing. It used to be that erections just happened. In many cases, they arrived unwelcome and for no reason at all. Perhaps it was a fleeting memory of a previously great sexual encounter that caused you to shift legs on the subway to avoid embarrassment. When you are 40-something or older, the memory is still there, but it’s unlikely to kick off an erection. You may find that given the choice between making love to a willing and decently attractive woman and watching football, you’ll choose the football.

It’s easy for you to feel horny with relatively high levels of testosterone surging through your blood. Most men who use anti-impotence drugs soon realize that while once aroused these drugs help them maintain an erection, there is also now the issue of getting aroused. It usually helps to have a surplus of testosterone in the bloodstream to feel arousal. To the extent men have it, it comes from longer intervals between orgasms. And that’s when it becomes embarrassing. If you are used to shagging with the missus every night or every other night, maybe it’s now once a week, then biweekly, then once a month, and then maybe only on Valentine’s Day. It’s hard to tell your significant other that you just aren’t a stud anymore. Even if she is drop dead gorgeous, that’s sometimes not enough for your body to keep up with your mind.

Not that long ago this wasn’t much of a problem. This was because nature took care of the embarrassment problem, by tipping the scales that you would be dead before it mattered. Men went off to fight in wars and died nastily in the heat of a battle. Or they simply wore out chasing after sheep or hunting a saber tooth tiger. Or they were culled by the many diseases that are now easily prevented. Actually, a lot of men (and women) died from abscessed teeth. There were no schools of dentistry until recently. Now of course fewer of us serve in wars so we get to live to our doddering years. So now we are getting a close encounter with our declining sex drives, and it is often disturbing. It is made more disturbing by the simple lack of quality information on what is normal. You can find it if you look but you have to look real hard. I came across such a site, well actually just a web page, recently. Here it is.

By all means reach for the Cialis or Viagra, assuming you can afford these overpriced anti-impotence drugs. Men often use them to great effect, but soon discover that while it makes sex possible it doesn’t increase the frequency of sex or give you the chronic urge to have sex like you had as an adolescent. That usually just keeps declining with age. Some men figure out the real issue, which is why testosterone supplements are all the rage online. It doesn’t take much Googling to discover these supplements are of dubious value, and likely dangerous, probably much like estrogen supplements are dangerous for women during and after menopause.

The bottom line for men is that nature intends you to slow down. It wants you to smell the flowers instead of the scent of women. This is actually fine for most women your age. Many still want to have sex, but a lot less frequently. A frequent issue with menopause is vaginal dryness during sex, which means there will be a tube of lube in your future, as well as the Cialis, when you do have sex. Moreover, since your sex drive is declining and her sex drive is likely declining as well, you are both more likely to just cuddle instead. The exception may be when you are in your forties. Women tend to peak sexually in their forties while men start to noticeably decline sexually in their forties. That’s when it gets embarrassing for men. She wants it but you don’t necessarily want it, and you can’t always keep up with demand. And that makes you feel, well, less of a man, because real men with a hot woman can keep it up.

So what you might want to do is print out that web page and pass it on to your wife or significant other. First thing you want to do is to remove the shame factor, because shame will contribute to sexual dysfunction when what you are going through is completely normal. Second, if you do value having sex, albeit less frequently than before, you need to educate your S.O. on what she can do to increase the probability of success. You need to educate them that losing an erection during sex is normal for older men but with a decent amount of pressure it is likely to come back and if applied continuously your erection may not fade. All this takes intimate communications, usually a challenge for men who are trained to behave as if they are invulnerable and eternally youthful. If your partner loves you, then it’s not unrealistic to expect them to work with you and your aging body.

It’s also okay to now have sex and not necessarily have an orgasm. If she is horny and you are not, you can use a vibrator on her or better yet your mouth. You may get aroused to the point where you want to have sex, in which case you’ll be raring to go, or not. But most likely next time you will be in the mood. It’s okay. This is what nature intended.

Is there an upside to all this? Actually, there are many upsides for personal growth. First, sex can take on a deeper and richer meaning than it did when you were younger. It becomes more about intimacy and connection that it does about anxiously depositing semen. When you do have sex, it might well be longer and more enjoyable than when you were younger. It becomes more about making love, connecting and enjoying your partner in many dimensions. You can also become more aware that the tactile parts of lovemaking are very pleasurable too: simply touching, or caressing, looking in her eyes, nibbling her ears or kissing her can be very enjoyable.

Perhaps the biggest reason to enjoy your sexual decline is the one so rarely stated: you have the opportunity to see yourself, and your partner, as a human being with many dimensions, of which sex is but one aspect. Having spent most of your life defining yourself as a man, you may discover yourself as a human being instead. Things like sex still matter, but should matter less. You may find yourself being able to see someone as multi-dimensional, rather than as a role or an object. You may have a deeper appreciation for the experience of simply being a human.

These are some of the gifts of age, but they often require giving up some of the fallacious notions of youth and assumptions on how you should be because you are a male. This stuff is a graduate school for human relations. If you live long enough, and are brave enough to try it, you may find that this stage of life can be a great learning experience about what it means to be fully human. These are aspects of yourself that were always there, but which you ignored or deprecated. They too are precious in their own way.

Be brave and take that journey into being fully human.

 
The Thinker

Value reprogramming our children

So many of us are raising our children mostly the way our parents raised us. It’s unclear why we do this. Perhaps we assume they did a great job, considering how awesome we turned out. Since we’re so awesome, we figure we’ll simply follow their formula and we’ll have awesome children too.

Or it could be we don’t want to suffer their wrath or disappointment. Parents can hurt us, even when we are in our middle years. Most likely, we don’t analyze our approach to parenting too much; we just do it reflexively. If we were raised Catholic, junior and his sister are raised Catholic. If we played Little League, our sons play in the Little League. If we went to Girl Scouts, our daughter goes to Girl Scouts.

Raising your kid differently than you were raised takes a certain amount of courage. Obviously, it takes less courage if you realize that you were raised wrong. If Dad beat you regularly with a belt, hopefully you won’t do that to your child, although chances are you will. Value programming seems to work this way. Both the good stuff and the bad stuff tend to get passed down from generation to generation. If your father beat up your mother, there’s a good chance if you are a male that you will beat your wife. Stranger still, if you were the daughter, there is a good chance you will be in a marriage where your spouse will beat you up. It’s unclear why this is, but it may be because we unconsciously seek out spouses that have characteristics of our parents. It happened to me: I married a gal from a poor family in Michigan, just like my father. At the time, this coincidence never occurred to me, but it was probably more than coincidence, particularly since my mother and I had issues.

Parenting comes with no rewind button. Instead, parenting is a continuous stream of events and choices applied to situations at the moment. From our children’s birth to our deaths it never really ends, but there is an unofficial end when our adult children finally move out of the house. (There is a good chance they will move back in some years later.) In retrospect, all of us parents wish we could have done some things differently. You do the best you can and try to forgive yourself for your parenting mistakes.

Parenting differently than the way you were parented takes reflection and mindfulness. My parents were not particularly physically affectionate. We got little in the way of hugs and kisses. They weren’t wholly absent; just that they were the exception rather than the rule. Unsurprisingly, I grew up feeling somewhat touch deprived. Also, my parents, although I am sure they loved each other, weren’t great at demonstrating affection with each other or really doing much together, other than dutifully raising us. Since I had about a decade as a bachelor, I had time to reflect on these concerns. I made up my mind that I would not replicate them with my daughter.

So I made a point to be lavish with hugs and kisses. I told her sincerely, and often, that I loved her. When near her I made sure to put an arm over her shoulder or around her waist. I wanted her to know that healthy human relationships should be naturally intimate, and that meant touching liberally. In short, I did not want to transmit what I considered to be a poor way of being raised. I wanted her to feel connection and intimacy. This meant more than words; it meant the constant pleasure and communication of touch. It’s delightful to see her as an adult being still so physically demonstrative with us.

My parents picked up something of a Puritan ethos common from their era. It meant the father made most of the major decisions, the mother’s role was to be supportive and children were supposed to quickly learn their place. It was generally understood that as children we were inexperienced and thus our parents knew best. We were told not just from them, but also from society in general, that our parents were our ultimate guides in life and to trust them implicitly. In general, the boys in our family learned that most emotions were better left bottled up, because we never saw dad cry or even get very upset.

Of course, society is a lot different now compared to then. The United States has more than doubled its population in my lifetime. Values have changed quite a bit as well. In the 1960s I did not know homosexuals existed. Today they have civil rights that were denied them including, increasingly, the right to marry. My country is much more ethnic in general too. I had to figure out how to put all this together in my parenting. It was not always easy and often it was lonely.

I had virtually no sex education, as was true of most of us Baby Boomers. I had to depend on factual books like Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex to get some rudimentary education. Reading about sex as opposed to experiencing it, of course, is quite different. Schools now generally teach sex education, but it is largely superficial. Certain topics are frequently off limits. Parents can teach their children sex education, but it is generally an awkward experience. It is better to come from an authoritative but independent source. Mostly, I didn’t want my daughter to start her sex life sexually ignorant. She needed a real grounding, both on the biological facts but on the physical and emotional issues of being a sexual person. I found such a program at my Unitarian Universalist Church: Our Whole Lives, wherein all these topics were discussed candidly but with trained facilitators. There is no question about it: sex is a big, complex and icky topic. But better to make sure she started with a firm foundation than to be ignorant and make the stupid mistakes I did when I became sexually awake.

Sex education is just one area where I deviated from the values I was taught. While many were the same (love, compassion, neighborliness, the importance of education) many were also different. I taught respect for people regardless of sex, race, religion or (the hard one) because they have different beliefs than me. I told her that I was a human being, not a god, and thus I make mistakes. I encouraged those values that helped me succeed, some that worked (reading, debate) and some that did not stick (striving for excellence, exercise and diet). In the end, like me, my daughter had a lot to absorb, analyze and figure out what was right for her.

At least she appreciates the complexity of our modern world. It is far more complex than it was when I was her age. No wonder then that today adolescence seems to extend well into their twenties. It’s quite a brain dump we give our children, and harder than ever for them to structure it in a way that will help them deal with their reality.

At the same time, my daring experience at value reprogramming has been satisfying. My parents did the best they could to set my values with the skills they had at the time. I did my best as well. I am glad I did not simply parrot the way I was raised, but trusted my own judgment instead. I used values that seemed to work (thriftiness, for example) and discarded what did not seem to work (religious orthodoxy).

My daughter says she won’t have a child, but she is toying with the idea of adopting a child when she is self sufficient enough. If that time comes, I hope she is smart enough to do what I did: and discard those things about the way we raised her that did not work, and substitute her own judgment of the modern world as she perceives it.

 
The Thinker

Craigslist casual encounters weirdness: March 2014 edition

At the start of the year I mentioned that the weather outside was frightful. It hadn’t seemed to cool the libidos of my fellow Northern Virginians, at least those that hang out on Craigslist Casual Encounters hoping against hope to score some kinky shenanigans despite the largely impassible roads and the single digit temperatures, not to mention the wan hopes of actually succeeding on scoring on Craigslist.

Two months later the weather outside is still frightful. The polar vortex does not want to leave the area. It’s snowing with a fresh accumulation of up to nine inches of snow predicted by later today. The temperature is in the teens, eighteen degrees to be specific. If there is to be a spring thaw at last, perhaps it will come from the unleashed heat of my fellow horny Northern Virginians.

But first a quick report from the statistics desk. Last month I neglected to give a report on my Craigslist casual encounters hits. I got at least 323 page views for this stuff in January, and at least 272 in February. I say “at least” because I can’t convince Google Analytics to show me more than the top ten pages with “Craigslist” in the title. Regardless, there remains plenty of public interest in these reports, so I feel an obligation to keep them, er, coming, so to speak. Bringing up the first page in my browser, I can see it is mostly men advertising for, well, anyone. There are 67 men looking for women, 25 men looking for men, just 1 woman looking for a man, 2 women looking for a woman, 1 couple looking for a man and 1 couple looking for a woman. So I’ll have to expand the scope beyond the first page to include a disproportionate number of women.

Warning: links may take you to sexually explicit content. Let’s dig into the snow and the posts in the Craigslist Casual Encounters area for Northern Virginia:

  • A 32-year-old guy from, well, it’s not clear exactly but he’s looking at a territory from Leesburg to Reston, wants to know why it’s so hard to find a good friend with benefits. This is not too “hard”. First, consider the fact that most women, even here on Craigslist, probably don’t want to see a picture of your hard dick when viewing your ad. News alert: most women probably won’t swoon at a dick picture. Based on the minimal postings by women, it’s also probably because no one is reading your ad except, well, me, and purely for the purpose of statistical sampling. And I can assure you that your ad does nothing for me other than make me chuckle and shake my head at your cluelessness.
  • Here’s a guy who has a solution on how to have sex in spite of the snow: make it virtual! He wants to do a web cam show with a woman featuring his hand stroking his penis. But what’s the point? There is nothing to discover. You can see his tight abs and his dick easily enough because he’s posted pictures of both. He says doesn’t care what you look like, which is good because you can’t tell who is viewing you anyhow, which suggests that his viewers will actually be men perhaps pretending to be women.
  • I’m still trying to figure out how a guy can have sex with another couple and still claim he is straight. Anyhow, that’s what this 42-year-old guy with, sigh, yet another dick picture wants to do, and he is hosting in his “upscale” Arlington hotel. Only, I’m not sure the Metro is running in this snow. He wants the couple to be between 45 and 60. I suspect he’ll be ordering a lot of room service and to the extent he gets off, it will be from watching naughty pay per view movies on TV instead.
  • Why don’t some men just say they are bisexual already? They can’t quite form the words. But when you are a man advertising you want to try the cuckold side of a relationship that probably means you get leftovers, quite literally, which suggests to me you are bisexual. Anyhow, this 38-year-old man from Burke has a picture to suggest what he has in mind in his supplicant role. Careful what you wish for, Burke guy.
  • Here’s a 52-year-old gay guy from my area looking for another guy. He isn’t going to let snow stop him from getting off. He’s got a four-wheel drive vehicle and he wants to drop by for whatever you want him to do to you. I assume there is no delivery charge.
  • You would think if you were 63 years old, you wouldn’t be too choosy. Not all 63-year-old men have gotten the message, because here’s such a guy looking for a transvestite, but not just any transvestite or transgender. You must be between the ages of 18-30, have very high heels, a revealing outfit and must pose and/or dance. Oh and you also need to be clean and personable. He does not mention anything about having a four-wheel drive vehicle to facilitate transportation in this snow but that doesn’t matter. He’s written an ad guaranteed to attract no one. Oh, and he’s also married. It’s unclear if his wife will be watching, but I’m guessing she is clueless and if not she is laughing her ass off and wondering how she ended up marrying such a dweeb.
  • When the title of your ad is “{{{==== cUm bEnd Me oVer My bEd===}}” there is a 99.9% chance that this “woman” is actually a troll or a spammer. Most likely if you click on this ad it will have been flagged for removal. Go ahead and test my theory. Expect to see at least a dozen more like this posted over the course of today.
  • Oh dear. Here’s a 38-year-old woman from nearby Chantilly that wants you to come by and basically beat her up, but with a strap. It’s something about being stressed out or something. She also wants oral sex and intercourse but as written it has to be done with your strap, not your mouth or penis, which I think is physically impossible. It’s okay to bring drugs too.
  • A 20-year-old voluptuous woman in Fairfax County is looking for what appears to be a first close encounter with her own gender. She has three selfies to show you what she is all about. I will say she has an impressive rack. Meanwhile, a sexy 33-year-old dominant Latina with impressive shades is also looking for her own gender. Since she wants someone younger, perhaps she should hook up with the former poster.
  • A 42-year-old biracial couple (woman white, man black) wants to add a woman. They want to play in the snow, although it’s unclear which kind of white powder they mean. Looks like they can go skiing either way.

More next month.

 
The Thinker

Craigslist casual encounters weirdness: February 2014 edition

Another month has come and gone. In January, I noted that the cold weather seemed to have dampened the libidos of my neighbors in Northern Virginia, at least in its Craigslist casual encounters area. A month later it is still cold but the libidos of my neighbors seem to be undergoing a bit of a spring thaw. I expect a plethora of kinkiness in March, but we’ll see.

Anyhow, here’s a review of a sampling of the ads I found today. Congrats to these winners, or something, for being selected from the heap of Craigslist casual encounter ads posted, because this post as is close as these ads will ever come to immortality.

  • A bisexual couple in their 30’s is looking for a “shemale” or transsexual male, which the male of the couple wants to “bottom”, quite literally, while presumably his DD-endowed curvy wife watches. I thought for a moment they were from New Jersey, since their location is listed as Exit 133, but it’s in Fredericksburg. Some minutes earlier likely the same couple posted another ad, this one for a submissive female or couple. To screen couples, you have to put her bra size in the subject of the email. I’m guessing they are not interested in AAs. Considering they want two sets of partners, I have to wonder just how “safe” they are.
  • Women, did you know that being in your 40s makes you older? It does to this 22-year-old woman from Alexandria who wants an older woman in this age range who is dominant and wants to make her be very nasty.
  • Ladies, want to get your fix for free? Whoops, this 34-year-old guy means do you want to party, and since he’s providing drugs it’s the same thing. Curiously he makes no mention of wanting to have sex with you too. I guess the mutual high he expects to have beats an orgasm. Party on, dude.
  • A bunch of young adults in Arlington, all male except for one submissive Asian female who you might say is the hostess, both figuratively and literally, are planning an orgy but you must be under 30 and preferably under 25. No beards or whiskers are allowed, but well endowed men are greatly preferred. Sorry, no gay or bi men are allowed.
  • A 28-year-old man from Herndon is looking for an exhibitionist woman to show off for him. He’s not looking for a private party, but wants to do this in public for their mutual titillation, quite literally. Based on his photos, he prefers panty-less women bending over in supermarket aisles. Good luck, dude, but I bet you’ll be wanking off to porn tonight instead. Here’s a suggestion: try a Wal-Mart. Occasionally they get female flashers but if you squint hard you can pretend those back boobs are on the front. You can also see guys with breasts there. Unfortunately, there’s no Wal-Marts in Herndon, but maybe the local Kohl’s will work.
  • A 25-year-old dude from Prince William County, who naturally assumes women will swoon over a picture of his engorged penis, so he’s posting it, is looking for a lonely housewife. How interesting. Hasn’t he learned that the only housewives left are in Mormon sections of Utah? So unless he moves there he is going to be disappointed.
  • I hardly know what to say about this one. Okay, I’m saying something. A 42-year-old submissive bi guy is into women’s nylon panties, specifically wearing them, and he wants to be topped by something other than his dildo for the very first time. Yes, he’s a butt virgin ready to be deflowered. He has six and a half inches and a photo to prove it, but what I find kind of mesmerizing is him wearing those green nylon girly panties. It’s mesmerizing in the same way passing a grisly car wreck is mesmerizing.
  • Ladies, are you overextended on your credit card? Willing to do almost anything to get rid of that outstanding balance? A 47-year-old man from Manassas claims he will take care of your credit card problem if you spend this evening masturbating with him.
  • Do you know what a glory hole is? If not, I assume you will Google it. Anyhow, here’s the thing about glory holes and Craigslist: since you never see the person that will give some glory to the male, the giver of this oral pleasure is always a guy. So basically it’s about a gay guy getting some action. So word to the wise to heterosexual men: avoid ads like this one.
  • Speaking as a heterosexual man, it’s always a bit sad when a woman posts for a woman and she’s a hottie. This means we can’t have her, and that makes me cry. She’s 31 and from well-moneyed Great Falls and most men would be baying at the moon after just seeing her picture. But we are off limits. And come to think of it, I’m pushing twice her age and have a wedding ring. Oh well.
  • Some ads get repeated daily or more often and thus have a reputation. I’ve been scanning these ads long enough now to know that this couple in search of voyeurs are just dope heads just interested in your wallet and getting their next high. Worse, they look like hell, so you won’t want to see them even with their clothes on. A couple of times a week at least they will scam someone and a red-faced scammee will write a post saying to avoid them. As with all things in their casual encounters area, it’s best to channel Nancy Reagan and just say no.

More next month.

 
The Thinker

Craigslist casual encounters weirdness: January 2014 Edition

(Warning: this post is Rated R and some of the ads link to X-rated pictures.)

Oh the weather outside is frightful, as is curiously the Craigslist Casual Encounters Northern Virginia edition on this second day of the New Year. It sounds crass to say it’s always the guys who are horny on this site, but that’s generally the case. I pulled up the first page of ads, as I always do, and found 53 men looking for women ads, 32 men looking for men ads, 4 women looking for men ads and 2 women looking for women ads. There is also one couple looking for a woman and one guy looking for a couple. So shed a tear, but only a small one, for the many guys out there with surging hormones and little chance of finding relief on Craigslist. They are all busy casting lures into a small pond for the one fish that probably isn’t there.

So I’m going beyond the first page this month, simply because men looking for anyone ads are generally so boring. So ladies first please.

  • Lisa is looking for a woman for her new FWB (friend with benefits) and is wearing a pink bra and a big smile. She’s after a woman, of course, but she doesn’t mind a man if you bring one along. He is limited to watching politely only. Okay, I’ll bite. Unfortunately, my wife isn’t interested so any ladies who want to try Lisa and bring along a man, hit me up! I figure just looking is not cheating.
  • Some men are so horny to even have a chance that their ad will be read by a woman that they will advertise as a woman in hopes of snagging a lesbian. But get this, he is not up for sex or a relationship, but “I’m up for oral and masturbation and nipple play ect”. My goodness! He must have studied at the Bill Clinton (“I did not have sex with that woman”) School of Sex.
  • A 28-year-old woman from Manassas is one of the few women looking for a guy tonight. “Def looking to go skiing and 420 is always a plus. Gonna be in the area for a few HH beers!” Yes, it’s snowing outside but she doesn’t mean to hit the ski slopes. She’s looking for a line or two of cocaine. “420” of course is the buzzword for drugs, so other forms of dope are welcome too. So basically she’s looking to do drugs and hopes the guy will supply her fix(es). Curiously her ad makes no promise of what the guy really wants: sex. The ending is good for a chuckle: “Please no creepers”. Geez, you creep me out lady!
  • Here’s a 43-year-old married white male looking for a guy. Lots of married men want their own sex, of course, and usually their wives don’t have a clue. I assume he is worried about STDs because he specifically asks for a “butt virgin or near virgin”, ideally 18 but he will go up to age 40. He likes his candidate orifices tight but he is also open to fisting. If you don’t know what it is, look it up. Suffice to say it is not for any “virgin” orifice. You must send a picture of your derriere. He must be expecting a crowd of applicants, so if you have thong panties or a jock strap you will move to the front of his line.
  • Good lord, Craigslist men don’t even screen applicants anymore. Here’s a guy in Room 302 at the Manassas Park Red Roof Inn, door ajar, blindfolded, naked, butt in the air and waiting for another guy. I guess he won’t be checking replies to his ad. If you are not prepared, don’t worry. He has condoms and lube.
  • A 40-year-old local man is open to anything, as long as it’s with a woman. So if you are a woman and you want to try something you have been denied to see if you like it and without fear of embarrassment, I guess this is your chance. He’s worried that the woman might be scared to try it so he offers all sorts of reassuring words. However, he’s not worried they won’t be more scared to contact some stranger on the Internet. Go figure. To weed out spam he requires you to put “let’s try this” in the subject line.
  • Ladies, are you embarrassed because you have puny breasts? This guy in Alexandria prefers them, and the smaller the better.
  • Horny heterosexual men: there is some hope for you tonight, as long as you don’t mind having sex with a 50-year-old couple, or more specifically a 50-year-old submissive woman, and you don’t mind tag teaming with her husband. You need to be in your mid thirties, a dominant and not mind working with another dominant. There’s a picture of the woman you get to dominate, at least from below the neck. I personally would give her the pass.
  • 69-year-old men still have hormones, but this 69’er just wants a woman to lick between her legs. I’m guessing he suffers from erectile dysfunction. The good news is that while he’s old, he’s at least “generous”, which is the code word for he’ll pay for the privilege. I guess at his age that’s likely the only way it’s going to happen. There’s another ad from a 69’er that I think is the same man.
  • Ladies, admit it: most of you want to try a black man. Moreover, you really want a strong black man, and this apparent 30-year-old neighbor of mine from nearby Herndon has pictures to show you he and Charles Atlas have much in common. As for what’s below his belt, if you are curious you can see it too instead of waiting to see it in person. I’m not sure though but I think he may be a gigolo, as he has cleverly embedded his phone number in the ad in a way so it won’t get automatically flagged.
  • Looking to cuddle up on a cold night when temperatures will drop into the single digits? A 45-year-old Reston man can accommodate, your place or his and he swears he is single (well divorced) and STD free. Plus, you get the bonus of body heat and maybe watching the snow fall between each bout of passion.
  • How to put this delicately: here’s a guy (warning: extremely explicit picture) who wants to have his orgasm in a woman’s mouth, preferably women’s mouths. He has a very explicit picture to show you what he has in mind, but I’m thinking even the horny women aren’t going to want to see this. As for two girls at once, he claims he’s done it before. I wonder: how much did it cost him? He’s apparently got a room with all the equipment and straps to make sure you will be immobilized.
  • Any ladies want to try a beaver bong (warning: explicit pictures)? Wow, this is a new one for me! I might go for the bong but not the beaver. Congratulations to this 25-year-old Arlington man for posting the weirdest post of the month.

As for my Craigslist statistics, I count 271 posts in December for Craigslist, versus 302 in November. Either the quality of my writing has gone done, or testosterone levels drop in December.

More in February.

 
The Thinker

Craigslist casual encounters weirdness: December 2013 Edition

(Warning: this blog post is rated R. If you follow some links, you may see sexually explicit pictures.)

Tis the season to ask Santa for presents. You would think that grown adults would be beyond the Santa Claus phase, but postings in Craigslist Casual Encounters are proof positive that you would be wrong. Lots of horny Americans are expecting Santa to put someone sexy under their Christmas tree and some are hoping for a group of sexy someones. Moreover, with the right present, they won’t need a fire in the hearth to stay warm. Ho ho ho!

Are these reviews still good marketing? Apparently! November statistics show 302 page views for Craigslist casual encounter posts, versus 252 for October, a 22% increase since last month. So onward, although frankly this month’s sampling is more than a little disappointing. Some nuggets are in there, but nothing that really shines as a prize chestnut. As always, I sample the first page in my browser in the Craigslist Northern Virginia casual encounter page to use as my representative sample of sexual angst and kink.

If you really want to get noticed on Craigslist, apparently some people still think that ads with titles in all capital letters is good. It’s curious this doesn’t work with billboards. Anyhow, what presents are my fellow Northern Virginians looking for this year?

  • Time travel is apparently possible on Craigslist. I found two ads, posted one after another, with the same X-rated fuzzy picture but in one the man is 43-years-old looking for a submissive slut to dominate. In the other he has magically subtracted three years from his age and is just another horny married guy looking for a bit on the side. The Grinch is likely to steal both these Christmas presents. He’d actually come out ahead with coal in his stocking!
  • Would you and your spouse like a discreet photographer to document your naked passion? A 49-year-old man is willing to take pictures and/or video and promises that you can keep the result. But he won’t do this for just anyone: the couple must be adventurous, fit and non-smoking. It’s unclear if this man is the same as this one, who has a sample erotic portfolio that you can look at that is frankly quite impressive. I’d definitely go with the latter.
  • At least one woman, a 23-year-old shapely blonde looking for other women doesn’t want to scratch the itch today, perhaps because it’s that time of the month. But she is thankful and based on the picture she posted any lesbian or bi woman would be more than thankful to get an encounter with her. So I’m giving thanks that she posted the selfie.
  • Here’s a 45-year-old man that is not particular about women. For no particular reason, he has a picture of a giant rubber duck attached. “Any Race, Any Age Petite to Thick Your place, My place, Any place.” He would prefer if this happened in his bed. I’m guessing it would be thoughtful if you also bring a rubber duck.
  • What do two couples do together on a Sunday afternoon? You would think it would be maybe watching the NFL and eating popcorn, but here’s one straight couple (man is 46, woman is 36) that wants sex with another couple. Well, not quite. The other couple must be in a cuckold relationship (the man is submissive) and the husband wants to screw the other wife. His wife might take off her top. But that’s pretty much it. Frankly, football and popcorn sounds far more appealing.
  • A 34-year-old man is willing to be a sperm donor. Artificial insemination is okay, but it sounds like he’d prefer to use an all-natural method. Lesbian couples are okay. This is the kind of generous holiday spirit that we are happy to see.
  • Here’s a 45-year-old man with a simple proposition: live rent free with him, you just have to sleep in his bed and agree to have sex at least four times a week. Oh, women only, duh!
  • Some men like them small. You must be under five feet tall to get selected by this 45-year-old man in Fairfax. He doesn’t give his height but I’m guessing he is five feet.
  • Here’s a 24-year-old man from Ashburn with some high standards. Yes, he does want a girlfriend, but she needs to be an attractive and submissive slut. He wants to do lots of watching his girlfriend while she is being used by others, preferably by lots of men at the same time. But he is dominant so this is not a cuckold relationship. He has realistic expectations and suspects “it may take several dates to make that connection necessary”. Good luck with the quest, Don Quixote. If I had to guess, you will never find your Dulcinea.
  • Here’s a Fairfax man who basically wants a prostitute, but can’t quite come out and say it. Maybe that’s why his ad wasn’t flagged. Anyhow, since he is providing the reward, BBWs should not bother to respond. Oh, and don’t expect to be taken out for dinner too. You know what you are supposed to do and it involves opening legs and/or mouth. Geez, this ad is sad.
  • Now here’s a single father with a legitimate wish for the holidays: a woman’s touch and it’s been quite a while. He’s 48. Here’s hoping Santa delivers someone warm, caring and clean.

The general theme this month is, “my goodness, there are a lot of horny gay men out there.” I’m guessing that gay bars aren’t the way gays hook up these days, or maybe because there are so few gay bars in Northern Virginia that Craigslist is the logical hookup place instead. 35 male for male ads came up on page alone. Contrast that with 4 women for women ads, one of which is where the woman is a “gurl”, i.e. guy dressed as a girl. Horny heterosexual guys still marginally outnumber the homosexuals, with 41 ads.

More in the New Year.

 
The Thinker

Interview with a porn star

I am a sinner, apparently. I am making money from porn.

Granted I am not producing porn. Viewing the stuff is not that interesting either, mostly because so little of it is actually worth viewing. You might say I am tangentially facilitating porn. For extra income and to keep one toe out of IT management and actually in IT programming, I have a very small business on the side wherein I help users install, modify and upgrade forums on their websites. Occasionally one of these sites happens to be a porn site. In the eyes of some I am contributing to the moral degradation not just of the United States, but the entire world since about half of my clients are from outside the United States.

Facilitating porn raises an interesting ethical dilemma: should I care? Porn supposedly degrades both women and men. That is in the eye of the beholder, I believe. There are probably some women who get into porn unwillingly, courtesy of a domineering significant other and who are probably quite damaged from the experience, mentally if not physically. I doubt this is true of most women in porn, although I can’t claim to have read studies on the subject. As for men, supposedly it teaches us that women are objects, although I have seen plenty of porn and I still think of women as complex and multifaceted human beings. I am quite certain though that my not working on porn sites will not reduce the volume of porn streaming across our steamy Internet. So for me the only real question is whether I want to make some money from facilitating porn. And that depends.

When I get these porn requests, I always take a look at the site. It would take a lot to shock me but frankly the majority of porn sites aren’t that shocking anymore. They basically consist of a lot of mostly naked people putting body parts in or near other people, and often acting rather dreadfully. Us old married folk have seen plenty of nudity and the naked human body isn’t anything special, although attractive naked human bodies tend to be more interesting. Curiously, on many of these sites the porn actors practice safe, well at least safer sex. It’s almost as frequent to see guys with condoms on than without. And while there are plenty of amateur sites out there, any site that is even tangentially “professional” is hiring “talent” that has been cleared by a local testing facility before they allow actors put their body part near any other actor’s body parts.

So I find most porn sites I do work for not objectionable at all. In fact, usually their stuff is pretty standard in our hardcore world. I will happily pass on helping any site with a theme that I find personally objectionable, such as a site that emphasizes underage people who actually are not, or where the sadomasochism moves beyond leather and riding crops what appears to be actual injury to someone, even when they consent to it. I haven’t been asked to work on a gay site yet, but that is probably coming (no pun intended). I also won’t do any work that could potentially get me in legal trouble in the United States, and I tend to err on the side of caution. If I don’t feel comfortable, I simply won’t do it. But if I do feel comfortable, I am happy enough to take someone’s money. Someone else would anyhow.

Most of my very limited work with porn sites has involved working with guys managing these sites, who are often acting as content webmasters for dozens of adult sites. It’s just business for both of us. I do a few hours of work and they drop a hundred dollars or so in my PayPal account. So when someone called Gen contacted me to install a forum on their site, I assumed it was some guy about half my age, probably with a beer belly, too busy mastering airbrush techniques in Photoshop and editing explicit videos than to hassle with my technical domain. I asked the usual questions, checked out the site and got assurances there was nothing that could be construed as child porn.

Proof of my ignorance of porn stars emerged when she said, well, she was a she. That’s interesting, I said in an otherwise business-like email. To my knowledge you are the first woman I’ve encountered running a porn site. Oh, she said, I don’t just run the site; I am also the porn “star”. Now that was truly interesting. It was my first encounter with stardom, or at least porn stardom.

“Gen” happens to be this lady. It feels indelicate to broadcast too much more about her website, but Wikipedia has the link to her site where I did my work if you are curious. There you can see plenty of pictures of her in her birthday suit and where members can see plenty more behind a pay wall. And that was the basic issue: how to put a forum behind her pay wall. I hadn’t done that before but I was not intimidated. It took a couple of days and required some back and forth with her web host, but I figured it out. Now she and her paid members can discuss whatever it is that paying customers do behind pay walls in forums. Maybe they discuss which one of her numerous porn films they like the best.

Gen is 32 and curiously looks more than a little bit like my lust object, who is one year younger. That began a curious email exchange wherein she said I was not the first person to make the comparison, but not until recently. I expected that a porn star would not be very eloquent via email, at least not with non-paying members like me, but Gen turned out to be quite expressive and volunteered information I had not solicited. Her husband supports the way she supports herself, but he is never in front of the camera. Yeah, she likes making porn, but mostly got out of the business because even with all the STD testing it was too dangerous. But it sounds like she still makes new porn from time to time, but presumably only with people she feels safe with. And she doesn’t mind managing the web site. She has it pretty much figured out but needs a consultant from time to time. And yes, making porn is something she enjoys. So at least in her case, being in porn is not degrading.

And Gen tips well. In fact, the tip was more than what I billed her for my services. Moreover, she needs an IT guy like me from time to time, so I suspect I’ll be hearing from her again. Given the way she tips, I’m more than inclined to do more work for her.

Now here’s the curious thing about my business. I use the income basically for little indulgences. It bought my wife and I a nice weekend at a resort a few years back. It will pay for most if not all of the shore excursions on our cruise of the southern Caribbean in January. A fair amount of this income is actually given away, often to Democrats running for office, and often to charities. And one of my favorite charities is House of Ruth, a shelter for abused women and children based locally in Washington, D.C. I’ve been giving to the shelter for nearly three decades. I became sensitive to the problem of spousal abuse when I helped make a documentary on the subject in college. In part due to Gen’s money and her healthy tip, House of Ruth got a healthy donation from me.

So in a way I’ve proven that porn can be good. Gen seems like a normal, healthy, sexually active woman who figured out a way to make money from porn because she was blessed with an attractive body. (According to Wikipedia, she also teaches Pilates, yoga and is a licensed massage therapist.) Gen makes a living doing something she enjoys, horny men (and maybe some women) get off, I make some income doing work I usually like to do, and this money goes to help abused women and children.

I figure I’m doing good facilitating porn. And now I have something of a new email friend and client: Gen the porn star.

 
The Thinker

Craigslist casual encounters weirdness: November 2013 Edition

(Warning: this post is rated R.)

It’s a new month. Has November’s cooler weather cooled the sexual fevers of my fellow kinky Northern Virginia residents? Not at all, if the interest in this topic on my blog is any indication. In October’s edition, I noted that there were about 220 page views for my Craigslist Casual Encounters posts. For October, I count 252 page views.

As for the hormone levels of local kinky residents, the only way to find out is to plunge into the first page of the casual encounters section of Craigslist for Northern Virginia and sample the content therein. It is the weekend so maybe this will push up hormone levels. Let’s see:

  • Many men suffer from penis envy, i.e. they want a bigger one than the one nature provided. I hear that some women have breast envy, but I understand most women find anything beyond a size C a hassle. Logically though the female equivalent of the penis is the clitoris. A 45-year-old man from Alexandria seems to have a case of clitoris envy, so he wants to try a big one. Maybe this is the equivalent of roping an extra large steer and that’s its appeal to this man or maybe nature did not provide him with a large endowment and his is how he deals with his shame. Anyhow, this is definitely weird, so an A for extra effort here. I don’t recall seeing this particular kink before on Craigslist. Ladies, in case you miss the first ad, don’t worry. He’s got two others.
  • A muscular 29-year-old gay dude is hosting in his hotel in Alexandria, but not in a cheap Motel 6, but at the Crowne Plaza. In case his rippling muscles are not enough to start your heavy breathing, he also has a picture of his package for you to drool over.
  • Everyone remembers their first time. You can only lose your virginity once but even after that memorable first time there are still brave new worlds to explore, like your first experience with a “she-male”. This 46-year-old man in Alexandria is ready to voyage, but he is not interested in ordinary cross dressers. You got to have breasts. I assume it’s okay if you have a beard since he didn’t specifically rule that out. If you don’t qualify because you haven’t started hormone treatment, fear not. This 22-year-old dude is not as particular.
  • Occasionally you see ads on Craigslist in the younger/older category. Sometimes it’s an older woman (30s to 40s) who wants to see if she can be a cougar. Sometimes it’s a young guy looking for an older woman to be his first. Maybe it’s less awkward or something. But a 39-year-old man looking for mother/son role-play? Please! Paging grandma, or maybe that’s great grandma! Paging Dr. Freud too.
  • A 30-year-old man in Ashburn wants to try a threesome with a couple, but keeps striking out, probably because he is advertising on Craigslist. He doesn’t mention the size of his endowment, which is probably the issue. It’s probably that or that he is not black. He needs a BBC (Google it if you don’t understand) and he needs to be a bull (Google that too if necessary). Umm, no male-to-male interaction!
  • A gay guy is getting tired of practicing being a bottom with his plastic sex toys. You can see pictures of this if you want, but you won’t. So he needs the real thing and he has to be the bottom of this relationship. Any ordinary gay won’t do. He (she?) has to also be a transvestite. White or Latino only.
  • Ho hum. Another gay dude wants a straight to succumb to his mouth, which logically means that he must be much better at fellatio because he is gay, duh! So he’ll definitely impress you with his sucking abilities that your cruel female significant other won’t give you and maybe turn you gay too. (Pat Robertson was right!!) Explicit picture. Warning: don’t click, unless you are a proctologist! You have been warned!
  • A 34-year-old man wants to f*** the babysitter. Not a real babysitter, and since he is willing to give a donation, I guess the only requirements are (a) female and (b) 18-22. But this is role-play so you got to earn your “donation”, ladies. A short skirt is required. And be prepared for a little car trip too.
  • There is only one lady looking for another lady ad that I could find, except that she has a boyfriend and hopes he can watch. It’s got to be this weekend and bringing dope is fine!
  • A couple in their 20s is looking for a woman to join them. While they are white, they don’t discriminate, at least not based on ethnicity. That’s nice of them. I get the feeling though that morbidly obese women are out of contention. Four pictures, all G-rated for a change!
  • Are you a woman who has sensitive breasts? This 35-year-old man in Fairfax wants to find you. He swears he only wants to suck them, nothing else! Umm, unless you want something else, of course.
  • Two executive professionals, age 38, want to double one lady’s pleasure (warning: explicit pictures). I doubt those pictures are of them, but it sure doesn’t look like they envision the safe sex they claim to practice.
  • 55-year-old men, particularly this one from Manassas, aren’t dead quite yet below the belt. The good news is that since this man can’t get any, he won’t be particular at all; he’s that desperate. “Chubby mature women to the front,” he says but don’t worry, this won’t be a long line. In fact, there won’t even be a line. Sorry, dude.

So, not so kinky this month, altogether. Testosterone levels must drop a bit in the autumn.

More in December.

 
The Thinker

Craigslist casual encounters weirdness: October 2013 Edition

(Warning: this blog post is rated R.)

In general, I suck at blog marketing. I like more page views, but generally I am too apathetic to do much about it. But I do watch page usage, which is why critiquing Craigslist Casual Encounters (Northern Virginia edition) has become a monthly feature of the blog, at least as long as it brings in more readers. So some good marketing news:  Google Analytics tells me I got about 220 page views for Craigslist blog entries in the last thirty days, as opposed to about 150 page views the previous thirty days. So this peculiar marketing strategy seems to be working and it’s worth my time to keep at it. It rarely fails to amuse me, although there is a certain sameness to it.

So here we go for October 2013. I can’t begin to claim I’ve read every ad posted in the last 30 days. Who has that kind of time? Nor can I claim that any ad I link to will be there if you click on it. These ads tend to be ephemeral and a lot of them will get quickly flagged. To deal with the huge volume of posts, I critique only the first page presented to me, specifically whatever comes up here in my browser. To dig into the details I use my iPad’s Craigslist app, which is more efficient for scanning this stuff.

Let’s get into the dirt because rest assured this stuff is dirt, and not the sanitized kind you buy at a Home Depot.

  • A thirty nine year old woman and her husband are hosting a gangbang, which in the world of sleaze has a completely different meaning: basically one person (generally a woman) puts out for as many “guests” (generally guys) as possible. “Sexy plain Jane gal by day but this weekend she is turning into a porn star.” I hope like most real porn stars she is insisting on men wearing condoms or, failing that, having a recent certificate from a testing agency asserting they are disease free. It sounds like she won’t be getting much sleep. “From now till Sunday morning. If this post is up she’s still playing.” I think it’s great that some women have a high sex drive, but I can’t imagine a woman doing this outside of a safe place like a swing club with strict rules. I have to wonder if her husband is a dominant and is making her do this. I’ll pass and I don’t care how horny you are, you should too.
  • Here’s a 29-year-old married man desperate for some oral sex (warning: explicit picture) from a woman. I’m gathering he is not getting it from his wife, which is a shame. My suspicion is that if he would return the favor, he wouldn’t be advertising on Craigslist. He likely won’t get any female takers, but it’s a good bet his inbox will be stuffed with offers from gay guys who for some reason seem to prefer straights. If he’s that desperate he might want to see if he is really a zero on the Kinsey Scale because that’s as close as he will get, unless he is willing to pay an escort. There’s likely a simpler solution: “Honey, can I have a blowjob?” My limited experience is that even women not much into oral sex will indulge you if you make it worth their while. Try seducing your wife already!
  • Here’s a woman with an unusual fantasy. Given its nature it is unlikely to be realized because it requires both a well-endowed black man and a “daddy” and it involves some sexual role-play between the men. Whoops, looks like it has been flagged, which probably means Craigslist readers suspect this woman is actually a guy, probably the “daddy” in the fantasy, except he does not really need a woman, just the black dude.
  • Here’s a gay guy from Vienna, Virginia into football who wants to combine his passion for football with his passion for his own sex. It sounds like when his team scores you should put your “football” through his “goalpost”. And probably also when they are just moving the ball down the field as well. Go team!
  • If you are a woman who just happens to have a strap-on (that’s a phallus strapped on to the woman so they can do what men do so well) there is a 35-year-old dude willing to open his orifice to any woman either tonight or Monday only. I’m guessing not too many women keep these by their bedstead to use for opportunities like this and there’s no indication this guy has one you can borrow. I don’t think you can rent one at a local rental shop.
  • Finally! A post in this section that sounds, well, almost normal. This guy is more than willing to play Scrabble with a woman, watch a good movie (maybe even a chick flick) and do a little dope. Maybe more. If I had to guess this is one of the few ads in this section that might get a response, probably from a lady dope head.
  • This guy has given up on Viagra, but is willing to “barter” his remaining supply. His choice of language is kind of peculiar: “shoot me your best offer”. Freudian slip?
  • Are you an older and submissive transvestite? A 45-year-old guy from Tysons is looking to meet you tonight and I don’t think it’s to hit the sushi bar. Not to worry: “I am safe, sane and real.” Perhaps he should hook up with this transvestite who has a room at the Hyatt hotel off Jefferson Davis Highway. Or even this transvestite.
  • I think I found a legitimate ad from a female looking for a guy! Anyhow, you can see this 23-year-old woman who is “a bit bigger” from her smartphone pictures. Warning: one explicit picture. You have to like Hispanic women but that’s not a problem for Craigslist men. They will take anyone with female chromosomes.
  • This is a pretty good deal for guys willing to go to Quantico: a free professional massage. You had best be gay because he is anticipating a “happy ending”. He supports the troops by, er, helping them stand erect! The good news is it’s okay if you are gay marine at Quantico, home of a big Marine base: “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is no more.
  • Yes ladies, there are men into super obese women. Go meet him! He wants to meet you and it sounds like maybe breed with you. He’s got four pictures to show you he is otherwise just an ordinary guy and not a creep.
  • A 23-year-old woman from Ashburn wants to party, but not just with you. You got to take her to a real party, dude!
  • There aren’t many but there are a few women on Craigslist looking for women. Here’s a married woman, age 44 from Manassas whose husband and son are away and wants to be dominated by a woman. She is so lonely! Please respond!
  • Here’s a couple looking for a man but with one unusual requirement. No, not that you are a black guy with a large endowment. That is standard these days. No, you must be uncircumcised. Guy is 28; girl is 24. I guess that leaves me out.
  • Last month I noted a weird post from a gay couple looking for a “son”. Apparently they didn’t find him because they are posting again.

There will be more in November, most likely.

 

Switch to our mobile site