I don’t know why but as I put together my monthly review of local Craigslist casual encounters weirdness, this snippet of lyrics from the musical Chess is running through my brain:
I’d let you watch, I would invite you
But the queens we use would not excite you
Anyhow, the first Friday of the month came early this month and that’s when I try to do these postings, as Fridays seem to be the best day of the week to find the weirdest of these postings, probably in anticipation of kinky expectations unlikely to be met by these posters over the weekend. So it’s generally anything goes. I decided to go back to Hartford, Connecticut’s section this month, mainly because I am lazy but also because my May 2015 post on Hartford continues to get lots of hits, 59 in March out of at least 166 hits for this stuff. That’s almost exactly 11% of my total web hits for March.
On the first page of postings I count:
- 33 men looking for a woman
- 41 men looking for a man
- 11 men looking for a couple
- 2 men looking for a transgender
- 1 group of men looking for a woman
- 4 women looking for a man
- 4 couples looking for a woman
- 5 transgender individuals looking for a man
- 1 transgender looking for multiple men
Let’s jump into the postings and find the wheat in the chaff tonight:
- Speaking of those two men looking for an attractive woman, they say, “Typically we’re available Sunday through Saturday with 2 days notice”, so I guess they never take a day off. They are 45 and 41, live in Norwich and have lots of explicit black and white pictures showing what they would do to a woman with men that obviously aren’t them, but at least the models are thoughtful enough to use condoms. Most likely they are married and probably need the two days to invent an excuse to give their wives for the odd hours they are going to put in at work. However, they are equal opportunity horn dogs, in that they don’t discriminate based on race but do discriminate on whether you are hot or not. That at least makes them more discriminating that most of their competition.
- Here’s an ad from a woman looking for a man that sounds legit, mainly because she’s been scanning ads from men for women and finding them turnoffs. Are you real, as in not a creep? Then maybe you can get into her pants, but this is Craigslist so the answer is probably no.
- He’s 26 and wants to go to the “art gallery”, i.e. Hartford’s “art” theater where apparently the stuff on the balcony is much racier than the XXX action on screen, or at least less faked than the stuff on the screen. But the balcony is only available to couples, so basically he needs a date in the hopes of seeing some people do kinky sex.
- Ladies, no need to feel awkward joining this couple in their 30’s for a threesome because you won’t be their first.
- If you are reading this, you are too late because this 46-year-old not totally gay man from Middletown is only available for the next hour or so.
- Lady, I love the blue panties.
- He’s a man from Suffield looking for a couple to have a threesome with but ick, none of this man-to-man stuff, he doesn’t want to even touch I would think that would make having a threesome very challenging and complicated. If that’s not enough to reject him, he’s also married and 52.
- He might possibly be Richard Gere.
- Here’s an unusual wish from a 50-year-old gay guy from Hartford: looking for a man with “alligator thick skinned ball sacks”. Maybe he should write bad erotic gay fiction. Oh wait, he just did.
- Ladies: he’s here to serve you, be your slave and he’s not concerned about your body type or your age (unless you are over 60). Among the things he is willing to do is this one I haven’t seen before: be used as your footstool. Enjoy, dude.
- She’s curious and looking for a Puerto Rican woman.
- Guys: he wants you to be “IN SHAPE”, 18-30 and he appreciates a great haircut (see example pictures). In fact, he’s willing to be your stylist and is hoping you’ll want him to shave you bald or make you look like a Marine. Prefers college boys and will “manscape” you too.
- It’s not easy being five months pregnant, especially when you are horny as hell.
- Now here’s an unusual ad: a 35-year-old white dude is looking for a couple. He’s at Bradley International (Hartford area airport) in the cell lot and stroking until 11 PM. He’s probably in the car with the fogged windows. That’s good as it will be hard to be seen with him, although having a threesome in a car sounds very problematic. He may get a caller, but I’m guessing it won’t include a she.
- He’s 25, gay, from East Haven, has a small one and wants to meet other men with small ones or big ones, just to compare.
- I don’t know how this 18-year-old gay “twink” from Tolland can strictly be a “bottom” and has a “virgin ass”. I mean, how would you know unless you tried?
- I’m sure hoping this 23-year-old Jewitt City man looking for a woman who is holding a newborn baby in his picture is a new uncle and not a new father. He says it’s been a while since he’s been with a woman. Maybe it’s because his wife won’t put out while pregnant or nursing?
- Here’s yet another sexual practice that I have no idea what it is, but it must be something women do with each other. She’s 21, from Meriden, is a lesbian virgin but says she is into tribbing.
More next month.
In my monthly samplings of weird but reasonably local Craigslist casual encounters postings, I’ve missed Worcester (it’s pronounced “wooster”), Massachusetts. It’s about an hour east of where we are living. I don’t think about it principally because I haven’t visited it, just driven through it instead. But it is Massachusetts’ second largest city with close to 200,000 people. Situated a bit outside Boston’s outer beltway, it’s had a reputation for being a faded industrial city, one of many here in the Northeast. It also has its own Craigslist community so it’s likely to have plenty of people into weird stuff. I’ll get to that in a minute.
But first, let’s take a look at my February Craigslist post statistics. It’s been a very slow month for fans of my Craigslist posts. I can document at only 156 web hits in February, but site traffic in general was very slow last month. There were just 1514 web page views, so my Craigslist traffic was just ten percent of total traffic. 69 of those hits were for my popular May 2015 post about Hartford’s Craigslist casual encounters postings.
There is a light snow falling here today. Let’s see if this is suppressing the creativity of posters in the Worcester area. Pulling up the first page of posts I see:
- 25 men looking for a woman
- 61 men looking for man
- 4 men looking for a couple
- 2 men looking for a transgender
- 5 women looking for a man
- 0 women looking for a woman or a couple
- 0 couples looking for anyone
- 1 transgender looking for a man
So right off the bat it looks like men will be dominating the posts this month. Here we go!
- Do you know what a tribute is? I mean in the kinky world of Craigslist. I had to look it up but it apparently involves a man jerking off on a picture of a hot woman and perhaps sending it to the woman hoping she will be aroused. If I were a woman and received one of these I would be calling the cops not to mention running for the Purex! In any event here’s a definitely weird post from a 52-year-old man from Acton looking for a man who will jerk him off on a picture of his wife. Curiously you have to do this while he is actually watching her, albeit surreptitiously, clothed or naked. Wow! This is exactly the sort of gem that makes this area so special! Just when you think you have seen it all, something new pops up. And it was the first post at the top of the page!
- Even if you are “gurl” friendly, you will want to avoid this ugly “woman” from Milford. “She” gives you plenty of pictures just in case the first one isn’t enough to convince you to hurry to the next ad. Maybe you should choose this 37-year-old gurl.
- I’m definitely behind on how sex reassignment surgery is done. Not feeling the inclination myself, it’s a mystery to me how the surgeons do this magic. Apparently in male to female surgery, the surgeon gets to shape the new woman’s private parts including her most sensitive spot, the clitoris. And that’s what this 51-year-old Worcester man is looking for: a new woman with an extra large clitoris. Presumably nature doesn’t provide this naturally to many women. It also helps if you are a “squirter”. Anyhow, if you got one, hit him up! He’d best not wait by his mailbox for replies.
- He’s 52, divorced, from Shrewsbury and has a sandbox he wants a woman to play in with him. Ladies, bring your plastic shovel and bucket!
- This is strange: a man looking for a couple so the woman can watch while he deep throats her husband. All this plus he’s 58. He must be particular however as you must live in Worcester.
- If you are a 23-year-old male virgin perhaps making your first sexual experience with a couple is not a bad way to get introduced to sex. It’s unclear what role if any the husband has in this other than as voyeur. Just in case the couple ad doesn’t work out he also has a more traditional ad.
- He’s 46-years-old, a recent widower and actually from Rhode Island and needs a fuck buddy while presumably he works through his grief. Or maybe since he’s looking he’s beyond that stage. Anyhow, unlike most of these posters he looks like a normal guy, so hit him up, ladies.
- There are lots of bad things that can happen in a casual encounter, but a lot that can be avoided. Here’s a gay 45-year-old man from Winchendon who wants you to bring a camera so you can join him in taking pictures of them naked. As I’ve noted before, testosterone makes men suggest crazy things and this is definitely one of them.
- He’s 42 and from Webster and is looking for Jennifer Sherman so that he can peak at her through her window again. I do hope this was consensual last time. Any Jennifer Shermans in the Webster area should lie low for a while and if asked say it must have been that other Jennifer Sherman. Which brings up another unwritten rule for these encounters: if you are stupid enough to go through with them, never tell him your last name.
- He’s young, from Worcester, has nice abs and wants to see you (a woman) gain weight. No, really!
- She 27 and really likes dominant men, so much so that her dominant husband is not dominant enough. So hubby needs help from a second super dominant man to finally put her in her place.
- In a similar vein, here’s a couple from Worcester looking for a gay or bi guy to join them because she gets off on seeing man on man, or at least a man enjoying her husband. That sounds fair given that so many men are into watching lesbians. The ultimate goal here is double penetration of the same orifice.
While few women are posting in Worcester, I am impressed by the weird postings mostly from men in Worcester, so it’s definitely worth a return visit.
More in April.
I’m back indulging my monthly habit of looking into naughty areas of the Internet. I’m back to my most recent favorite spot: Hartford, Connecticut. I’m there to see what crazy shenanigans its residents hope to get into this weekend by hooking up with strangers using Craigslist’s casual encounters section. Few of these potential encounters will actually happen, at least on Craigslist, but when posting on Craigslist it helps to think not just big but grandiose. In recent months I looked at postings in both Boston (feh!) and Albany, New York (hmm), but Hartford (about an hour’s drive south of me) has postings that rarely disappoint. Let’s find out who’s hoping to shake their booties down in Connecticut’s capital this first Saturday in February.
But first: a look at my January statistics. There were at least 260 web page views for these posts on my site last month, with the top rated post my first May 2015 review of Hartford’s postings (96 views). That’s nearly forty more page views than in December and about 11% of my web page views in January, which is about average.
On the first page of ads in Hartford this afternoon I see:
- 20 men looking for women
- 57 men looking for men
- 7 men looking for a couple
- 1 man looking for multiple women
- 2 men looking for multiple men
- 1 group of men looking for a man
- 5 women looking for men
- 1 woman looking for a woman
- 2 transgender women looking for a man
- 1 couple looking for a woman
So there are lots of horny gay men posting this cold and snow-covered first Saturday in February. Let’s dig in to the posts:
- A 45-year-old Farmington man does not have so much as a foot fetish as a toe fetish. He’ll massage your feet and kiss your toes, but curiously makes no suggestion of moving toward further intimacy. It’s probably just as well as he’s unlikely to get any takers, unless she is a working “gurl”. Considering the next post is also from a 45-year-old Farmington man, it looks like he is also interested in watching couples in his hotel room.
- She’s 27, a big (fat) girl, but is looking for a special kind of guy: skinny but well endowed, 9 inches plus and thick. She wants photographic proof and asks that you host their booty call. Oh, and stop flagging her ad. Lady, if I were you I’d go with this guy from Windsor.
- This 68-year-old widowed gay man seems very particular of who he will service. You have to be youngish but it’s not clear what that means when you are 68. The good news is you don’t have to reciprocate, which is probably just as well as I’m betting he has erectile dysfunction.
- She’s virtually 29, lives near Bristol and really wants to try her own gender for the first time. She’s into lesbian porn but has a few unique requirements, including that you must be shaved below the waist. Dominant women preferred.
- It’s odd to see what looks like a legitimate ad from a woman looking for a man, but this black woman, age 23, has one and she’s into white guys. Looks like she’s got the condom thing already figured out so no point in stopping by the CVS first.
- Ladies: sounds like a good deal. He’s a generous (read “willing to pay”) man who simply wants a “pillow princess” to give to oral love to. You don’t have to do anything else. There is no clue what he looks like but just in case he’s ugly, obese and/or very old you might prefer to keep a blindfold handy. Don’t feel that this will be your best offer, however. This 50-year-old man from Southwick is also interested in covering you with sugar.
- It’s not uncommon to find people posting for family role-play, i.e. “daddy/daughter”, “brother/sister” etc. This is the first post I’ve seen for a daughter looking for a mommy. She’s in her late 30s, and mommy must be 45+. Gosh, mommy started pushing them out young!
- There are few things worse than going to the Hartford Cinema Arts Theater where XXX movies run all day and night and having to get off by watching the naughty action on the screen instead of in the seats. Which is why since couples occasionally show up to do the nasty and invite audience participation, this 40-year-old man wants to hook up with you there, and he’s hoping the husband is a cuckold.
- This 30-year-old gay man from Wethersfield is trying to set some sort of record on how many men will take him orally or anally this weekend. Why do I think I see a HIV+ sign above his pictures of his ass? Probably because in the last picture he’s got a bruise on the right cheek. Avoid.
- It’s curious how a pedestrian ad can seem kinky in this section. He’s 59, looking for a woman and is almost waxing poetic about how he’s working to be at the forefront of American history and will be creating millions of jobs. He’s even posted his name: Roy E. Cline. Umm, Roy, ever hear of okcupid.com or eHarmony?
- He’s a gay guy very disturbed by the poor quality of men at Hartford’s local glory holes. Speaking of glory holes, here’s a couple from New Britain looking to find one for the wife to try out.
- Can a woman be a whore to another woman? This 26-year-old “very submissive” and fit woman wants to find out.
- You would think that a married man who want to see their woman with another man would just give up, particularly when the woman doesn’t want to move beyond fantasy. This 36-year-old man from Windsor is seeking to hire an endowed personal trainer who will seduce his wife.
- Guys, if you are going to try a “gurl”, go with this 25-year-old “woman”.
More in March.
It skipped my mind to survey Craigslist’s casual encounters section this month until now. I’ve been trying to do it on the first Friday of the month, which this year was New Years Day and I had statistics to post instead. Moreover, I forgot it yesterday, on the second Friday. But it is still the weekend, and that’s when these posts tend to be at their weirdest. I was disappointed in my survey of Boston’s posts in December but I was impressed when I surveyed Albany, New York last year. So I’m off to Albany again this month hoping to strike weird posting gold again.
First to note that Google Analytics recorded at least 221 page views for these posts last month. That’s 22 more than in November. However, my traffic was up some fifty percent in December so this was only six percent of total traffic of 3652 page views. 52 of those views were for my first review of the Hartford, Connecticut site in May of last year.
Who’s posting this Saturday in the Albany metro area? On the first page of postings I see:
- 25 men are looking for a woman
- 53 men are looking for a man
- 12 men are seeking a couple
- 1 man is looking for a transgender
- 3 women are looking for a man
- 0 women are looking for woman or anyone else
- 1 couple is looking for a man
- 1 couple is looking for a woman
- 3 transgender individuals are looking for a man
And we’re off:
- Men, have you ever wondered what it would be like to be transformed into a woman? Umm, no, at least not me. Now that I think about it I’m sure Frankenstein would look prettier in a dress. However, this “gurl” (45) and her friends are hosting a makeover party for the serious and experienced. You can bring a wardrobe but they have their own pretty extensive wardrobe too. Maybe they take pictures when they are done, and you can attach them in your next Craigslist post. Appropriately, these gurls are from Queensbury. Looking at “her” pictures, she could use a makeover herself. I’m afraid not even a quart of Jack Daniels would convince me to make a pass at her.
- Meanwhile, this gurl in Latham is looking for a real girl (woman) to dress her up.
- Speaking of the transgendered, this “gurl” is looking to make her first appearance at Adult World this weekend, if she can summon up the nerve. I’m guessing this is the local poorly lit porn shop. Basically she needs a sponsor so if you go there regularly, grab her arm and help “Ashley” through the door.
- Women aren’t the only ones in this section looking to trade sex for money. This six foot black gay man from Albany with nine inches to spare is looking for a rose. Make that two roses. I guess he figures those extra inches are worth the extra money.
- They are a couple looking for a woman and she wants a lap dance. If you dance well enough, she will give you your reward.
- You wouldn’t think a couple in their 50’s would need to be taught how to have sex, but this couple from Fulton County needs help learning how to swing. Lesson #1: there is (usually) no actual swing involved.
- He’s late 40s, from Albany, married and says he has his wife’s permission to hook up with you, a blonde woman. Why am I suspicious? Because I’m betting he is this poster.
- He’s just another horny 38-year-old married guy who pines for his own sex. He wants to discreetly hook up with a similar married guy at his hotel room near the Albany airport on January 22 when he will be in town. Apparently he is an ex Boy Scout because he plays safe and here he is proving he knows how to be prepared, as two weeks should be plenty of time to screen dates. Maybe he should hookup with this dude.
- Here’s the only legitimate young couple looking for a man post tonight, and they have very explicit pictures to prove it.
- He’s 37 and was weaned too early; in fact he craves the breast milk. If you have some to spare, he’ll be your milking machine.
- The last time I looked at Albany’s postings I found a guy that wanted to bottom another guy in a Schenectady bookstore. Weird, but today I found a 26-year-old man who wants to orally service a guy in a Troy bookstore. Perhaps it’s the same dude. I had no idea that bookstores were favorite spots for perverts and voyeurs. Next time I’m in a Barnes & Noble, I’ll keep a sharper eye out.
- Draya is a 21-year-old working “gurl” and I guess if I had to cross the transgender and color line “she” would make a great choice. Not sure I could afford “her” however.
- Some married men just want to be humiliated, i.e. sort of get off with a woman by getting no sex. Make love to his wife while berating him. It’s a strange idea of “fun”.
- Not many men are interested in age 60+ women. Not many … unless you are divorced and 59 years old.
- Speaking of older men, he’s 63, chubby and wants a hand job from a similarly chubby and age-appropriate woman. I hope that Cialis prescription has been recently filled.
- If I were a woman looking for a woman I’d definitely check out this buxom beauty, 32, from Albany. I wouldn’t say no to this 46-year-old blonde honey looking for a woman half her age either.
- They are a couple looking for another man but with no male-to-male contact. In fact, all that will happen is she will give you a hand job and I guess he watches. They are in their 30’s and from Albany.
- I thought slavery was illegal but this couple in their 20s wants to own you (a woman). Expect to be degraded; in fact degrading may be putting it too mildly.
- Ladies, this man would like to get to know you over coffee, but you’ll know him quite well before you ever get to the coffee shop, at least what he’s packing. It sounds like he’ll pass the truth-in-packaging law but don’t expect to spend much time sipping coffee.
More next month.
Today to spice things up and also because I’m getting a bit bored with these monthly postings, I’m moving my gaze east to Boston, about two hours away from me by car. With its larger, denser and more ethnic population it’s likely to be a wilder sort of place. Or perhaps people in Beantown are too busy ingesting their Dunkin Donuts (which overrun the area) than to attempt weird Craigslist hookups. Anyhow, I intend to find out.
First, let’s take a look at my Craigslist traffic for November. There were at least 199 web page views for these posts last month, up from last month. But overall traffic for this site was also up in November to 2746 page views, so the percent of Craigslist traffic dropped to an anemic 7.2%.
Anyhow, looking at the first page of casual encounters postings today, I can get a sense of who’s advertising. I see:
- 46 men looking for a woman
- 35 men looking for a man
- 4 men looking for a couple
- 2 men looking for a transvestite/transgender
- 1 group of men looking for a man
- 5 women looking for men
- 0 women looking for a woman
- 2 women looking for a couple
- 2 couples looking for a couple
- 2 transvestite/transgenders looking for a man
So maybe there are more heterosexual men in Boston than I expected. Usually men looking for men beat out the men looking for women. As a liberal area I would expect Bostonians to be open minded and kinky. Let’s find out:
- She’s a young woman from South Boston and wants to turn a straight woman gay with her strap on. I don’t quite understand this logic but with her large derriere there at least should be plenty of inertia behind each thrust.
- Women might want to avoid this 40-year-old black man from Boston. While it’s impossible to know how many sexual partners someone has had, it’s not a good thing when a poster shows pictures of himself having unprotected sex with a woman. Despite his “all natural” approach he does say he is disease free. If I were a woman considering him, I’d insist on a condom anyhow — maybe two at once.
- She’s 30 and has “the biggest set of girls you have ever seen”. I’m guessing this means she makes Dolly Parton look underendowed. Men, if you like your women supersized above the waist, check her out.
- He gets “a boner rubbing down a straight guy” but won’t make a move on you otherwise unless you want him to. By definition he won’t attract a straight guy, which may be why he is open to giving you a massage.
- She is probably a he and is apparently the one flagging pretty much any ad. I guess it’s good to have an avocation but this is definitely an exercise in futility.
- Are you an exotic dancer with a slim body that wants to dance (presumably for free) with a 63-year-old man from Wakefield? The proper response to this question is “Ha ha ha!” It’s not too hard to figure out this is the ad least likely to get a response tonight.
- And speaking of us older men, here’s a 57-year-old married man from Woburn who is looking for a couple. He has a very odd submissive request that involves using a blindfold. Of course he can’t host!
- What’s with all the older men posting today? He’s 58, married and from Medford and wants a couple, but really just the wife to play with but with her hubby watching. He says he’s into older women but I’m guessing he’s not that into them but figures at best that’s all he can attract. I’m trying to figure this out. First of all, at 58 what constitutes an older woman? Someone in their seventies or 80s? Maybe he figures it isn’t cheating if the husband is present?
- But wait, there’s more horny older men. Here’s a 59 year old man looking for anyone to give him a hand job because wifey won’t put out.
- Guys, she’s 27, Puerto Rican and wants to meet a husband’s naked body virtually on Skype. No you don’t get to see her and probably can’t hear her either so she is probably a he.
- This 37-year-old man from Lowell better be ready to dial 911 because he wants a man to rip open his rectum. Let’s hope he is writing metaphorically.
- He’s 35 and looking for a woman into incest, dogs, toilet play and diaper play. He really wants to be naughty, so he better anticipate coal in his stocking.
- Usually Craigslist people want a big one but here’s a 44-year-old gay man from the Merrimack Valley into small ones.
- Her idea of a casual encounter is a short-term place to stay near Chelsea.
- She wants a job: a submissive boss who she can basically abuse. Expect her to come in late and leave early.
- This is strange: She is 28 and wants a threesome with a man and woman who don’t know each other. She could probably make a go of this if she advertised for two men, but it’s filed under Women for Women. Oh, and she has to be the center of attention.
- There is a lot of debate if “squirting” is real, i.e. not urine. She’s looking for a woman to show her how to squirt. I guess there is no Dummies book but if it’s just urination I have to think she can handle that already.
More in 2016.
Last month I surveyed the casual encounters weirdness scene in and around Albany, New York and found much there to highlight for us fine purveyors of smutty ads. Today I am going back to Hartford, Connecticut to see if anything has changed there.
But first here are some statistics. My blog received at least 182 web page views on my Craigslist posts in October, about twenty more than last month but still not impressive. At least 19 of these were for the Albany post so it probably behooves me to look around at neighboring cities to increase traffic and just for variety. I got 1623 web hits for the month, so that’s about 11 percent of the web traffic.
This Friday evening on the first page of posts I find:
- 33 men looking for women
- 41 men looking for men
- 7 men looking for a couple
- 6 men looking for a transgender
- 12 women looking for a man
- 0 women looking for a woman
- 1 couple looking for a couple
- 0 couples looking for a woman
- 3 couples looking for a man
- 1 transgender looking for man
- 1 transgender looking for a transgender
Let’s see if we can find some choice postings:
- She’s 25 and from Hartford and she wants to be used, abused and name-called. Being married is not a problem, but small dicks are. She’ll try anal sex if you know how to do it. Hint: it involves inserting the penis into the rectum. Meanwhile in New Britain is a 24-year-old woman who wants to turn the tables: she will “peg” you (a guy) with her strap on but you have to host.
- Take pity on a soldier two days after Veterans Day. This man is on active duty and from his picture looks like he in somewhere in the Muslim world, probably Afghanistan. He wants to chat with a woman and wants to know what you would do with a soldier. I’m guessing it’s not practicing salutes.
- She’s 27 and wants to take your virginity. All men should apply because what do you have to lose? How can she possibly tell?
- Is he hetero or gay? Maybe he swings both ways. Whatever, he’s a 45-year-old redhead in Berlin at a hotel off the turnpike and he’s horny enough take either gender.
- There are not many women willing to lick your asshole, but there is at least this 34-year-old woman.
- He wants a kinky and dominant woman, and you can wax him if that’s your thing or even dress him up. Sounds like he wants to be someone’s cuckold, but most likely he will strike out again this evening as usual.
- She’s 31, very shapely and looking for a few good men. And by “good” she means well hung and willing to gangbang her.
- This black dude says it’s his last time posting but I’ll bet you’ll see his cock again in a future ad.
- You don’t see this every day: he’s searching for his pimp.
- This 47-year-old man is offering free oral service to women. You can visit him or he can deliver. If he’s good, put him on your speed dial.
- It helps to know Spanish to know this couple from New Britain is age 50+ but they are looking for a man to orally service both of them. It’s unclear if either or both will return the favor.
- This gay 45-year-old white guy from Enfield is looking for a gay black guy for “chocolate milk”. He may be disappointed when he finds out he’s only going to get vanilla.
- Guys, you can submit to two women at once with these two dominatrix girls.
- This 55-year-old man from Hartford is basically looking for a kinky Dr. Marcus Welby. He doesn’t need a real physician but it would help to have a white lab coat and stethoscope. In a similar vein, this mature white couple from Bloomfield is looking to use a real OBGYN table for some kinky fun and need your help. It’s unclear if you can watch.
- He’s 69, heavy, apparently gay, married and from Somers and wants to meet up with a man for some relief. I’m guessing the missus is done with sex.
- He’s 39, from Manchester, wearing his wife’s pantyhose and wants to meet a guy who will blow him while he wears the nylons. I’m guessing his wife will wonder how the pair got so soiled and stretched.
- Men, you don’t need to get her plastered to screw her: she’s already drunk and waiting.
More next month.
This month instead of looking at postings in Craigslist’s Hartford casual encounters site, I’m going to look instead at Albany, New York’s site. Albany is a major city about ninety minutes by car (with a fair tailwind) to my west. Albany is also the capital of New York State. It happens to be situated about twenty miles from Schenectady, where I was born. Curiously with the lack of much in the way of FM news stations here in the Pioneer Valley, I listen to Albany radio quite a lot, more specifically WAMC at 90.3, the NPR station. So perhaps it’s appropriate.
First let me provide a report on my September Craigslist statistics. Google Analytics reports at least 162 web page views for my Craigslist posts in September. This is pretty low and may be the lowest number of hits since I started recording these statistics. I say “at least” because Google Analytics dashboard won’t show more than ten entries with “Craigslist” in the title, and I know these posts are read frequently via other media like newsfeeds. This is ten percent of my 1628 web page views for the month. So perhaps this Craigslist traffic trend has peaked at last. We’ll see in subsequent months.
Anyhow perhaps things will be fresher in Albany than they are in Hartford, Connecticut. No way to know without diving in. It’s the first Friday of the month so doubtless people have high expectations for their weekend. On the first page of posts I see:
- 35 men looking for a woman
- 47 men looking for a man
- 5 men looking for a couple
- 2 men looking for a transgender/transvestite
- 1 man looking for multiple men
- 3 women looking for a man
- 2 women looking for a woman
- 2 couples looking for a man
- 1 couple looking for a woman
- 2 couples looking for another couple
- 1 transgender/transvestite looking for a man
And we’re off:
- This 47-year-old man from Guilderland doesn’t understand that wanting to give oral sex to a young man is not a fetish. Symorophilia, now that’s a fetish. Anyhow, it’s too bad this man is only 47. If he were 60 or older, this younger man from Albany would be interested.
- Now this is weird: this “horny housewife” is looking for two guys who are related to ravage her. Some examples include father/son, two brothers or uncle/nephew. I guess that’s keeping it all in the family, but what would mom say?
- This couple age 29 and 31 want another woman to join them. What makes it kind of weird is that she probably won’t participate in any actual sex. Instead, they get to watch her slip bras and panties on and off while they get it on. Only if there is chemistry will things go further. It’s unclear how they will draw a woman in the first place if all she will do is repeatedly dress and undress. They might want to rethink their marketing strategy.
- This sixtyish couple likes to hear other couples describe their most private and erotic fantasies. And that’s all they are offering: you type it up and send it email and they will read them and send back some of their own. They also want to hear your real life exploits.
- Looks like my new hometown of Northampton, Massachusetts will be hosting a bunch of swingers early next week. Not sure why they are making people drive all the way from Albany and are having it during the workweek, but anyhow if you are a couple hit them up.
- If you are a woman with too many panties or need some side income selling your used panties, contact this Albany man. He wants a long-term thing if possible, so maybe he’s planning to open his used panty museum.
- Here’s a gay guy who has a foot fetish, so guys he will do all sorts of peculiar stuff to your feet and toes with his hands and mouth but he is not into men who used athletic socks or sneakers and you have to be available evenings and you got to send him your stats and shoe size.
- No lie: this gay man from Schenectady is looking to be bottomed today in a bookstore with others watching. Schenectady police: please respond.
- This woman is hoping to find her next husband through a Craigslist casual encounters post. Unless your standards are incredibly low, may I suggest OKCupid or eHarmony?
- Cuckold couples: he wants to be your bull, but is he 46, 48 or 53? More than likely, it’s the latter.
- If you are a woman who likes to be rimmed, here’s the guy you need. If you don’t know what rimming is, the picture will show you.
- He’s a 55-year-old transvestite with erectile dysfunction, so that part is off limits. Otherwise guys, have fun!
- This cat from Colonie will play with other women while her man is away in New York watching the Mets game. She’s 32, pretty and slinky and has some very explicit pictures but guys, just piss off!
There will be more next month when I may explore Boston.
It’s a little early for my monthly review of the local (Hartford, Connecticut) Craigslist casual encounter section. I usually wait until the first Friday of the month because weekend postings tend to the most weird. But I’m between clients at the moment and a bit bored. Moreover, I’ve done a lot of weighty posts lately so it’s time for a bit of fantasy, which is almost always the case for these postings being realized.
Looking at my August traffic, there were at least 221 web page requests for my Craigslist posts on a total of 1376 page views. So while overall page views were in their usual summer doldrums, my Craigslist post accounted for 16% of traffic, up from last month.
Looking at who’s posting I count the types of ads on the first page that comes up. It’s mostly men looking for other men today. I was thinking after the recent Ashley Madison hack the married men would have moved to Craigslist, but apparently not in large numbers. Anyhow:
- 30 men are looking for a woman
- 48 men are looking for a man
- 6 men are looking for a couple
- 4 men are looking for a transgender/transvestite
- 0 women are looking for a man. That’s likely because their ads were quickly flagged.
- 4 women are looking for a woman
- 2 couples are looking for a woman
- 1 transgender/transvestite is looking for a man
- 1 transgender/transvestite is looking for a transgender/transvestite
Time to put on the dark shades and latex gloves and document some of this month’s weird nastiness. Since there aren’t many postings from women today, I’m going to spice it up by adding some postings from women more locally, i.e. the Western Massachusetts Craigslist section.
- She’s a married BBW from Windsor Locks and her husband is okay with you screwing her bareback. In fact, he only wants you to take her bareback because apparently because he’s apparently quite interested in whatever you end up depositing. Eee-yuck!
- Lots of women post for very well endowed men. Here’s a twist. Here’s a guy who wants you served his way. Hold the pickles; ladies he only wants you if you have big buns. And he wants to plant some hickeys on those buns too.
- This is pretty strange. He sounds like a married farmer in the Farmington Valley but he’s willing to provide a free room to a woman if he gets to look at you (presumably undressed). He won’t touch you unless you are okay with it. You do have to help with chores. And somehow his wifey is not going to figure this out.
- Attention Home Depot security at the Glastonbury store. He’s 40 and stroking his eight inches in the store (discreetly, I hope) and is hoping to find a man to join him. Let’s hope they don’t scare the women, children and horses.
- He’s hoping! He’s near Wethersfield and he’s hoping you’re a woman with a car and you will pick him up for some naughty stuff because his car is in the shop and his roommates annoy him. He’s probably still sporting acne (he’s 19).
- Now this is interesting. It’s illegal to exchange money for sex but I don’t think it’s illegal to barter for sex. In exchange for a woman’s pleasure he’ll provide handyman services. It sounds though like he wants a lot of your services in exchange, so I’m not sure it’s a fair deal. Ladies, he’s got six inches and he lives near Plainville.
- I was dimly aware of a device called a fleshlight. It’s a wanking device for a man who has everything but a woman with a vagina. I didn’t know it came in a double size so two (presumably gay) men could use it at once. Anyhow, this young man from Windsor Heights is looking for another man for multiple dual fleshlight sessions.
- They claim to be three people from Newington (two men, one woman) that play together. They are looking for a fourth, and she needs to be a she. Anyhow, in the unlikely event a woman tries to hook up with this triad, I’m betting the woman in the triad is mysteriously absent and came down with a sudden cold or something.
- About that transgender looking for a transgender? She is now a he and all the surgery is behind him. He is now looking for a fellow transitioning male in any stage of his transition for naughty intimate play mostly involving his new part.
- He’s from Manchester and is looking for Hooters girls only. He’ll make it worth your while.
- Attention grandpas near Southampton, Massachusetts. (I might add it is about five miles down the road from me and I happen to be old enough to be a grandpa.) Anyhow, if you have had your Cialis and you don’t mind catching some dread disease this submissive woman from Southampton wants you to take her bareback. Umm, pass.
- I don’t quite understand why a butch lesbian would be advertising for a guy but she’s all-natural apparently. Either she’s bisexual or she’s hoping to get pregnant.
That’s about all the weirdness I can find this month. Perhaps there will be better postings in October.
And we’re back with our monthly local look at Craigslist’s casual encounters section. We always hope as usual to find some unusual gems of weirdness among the heaping pile of mostly mediocre postings. We’re looking at Craigslist’s Hartford, Connecticut section again because it’s a sizeable community not too far from me. I may move to Boston or Albany on occasion just to see if posts are any weirder over there.
In June I had close to three hundred web page views for this stuff. Passion must be cooling as I can only document 180 reads in July for my Craigslist posts. However, traffic was down in July in general, a phenomenon I see every summer, with 1466 web page views, so this traffic still accounted for 12% of traffic, which is about normal.
Scanning the first page of posts on this Friday morning I see:
- 43 men looking for a woman
- 39 men looking for a man
- 2 men looking for a couple
- 2 men looking for multiple men
- 1 group of men looking for a man
- 5 women looking for a man
- 2 women looking for a woman
- 1 couple looking for a woman
- 2 transgender persons looking for a man
Let’s see what the cat drags in today:
- This is promising. The first post is from a man with a breast pump looking for an adult breastfeed/adult nursing relationship. He’s open to just about anyone but presumably there has to be a woman in there somewhere, although he is happy if you are a couple, lesbian or straight. Naturally he prefers if you are lactating but I guess he is willing to try to get things primed given that beggars can’t be choosers. Oh, and about him: six foot, 43 and he’s XXX which in this case means extra, extra, extra large but he’s cool with his size. He will send you his picture if you reply. He doesn’t have to worry about straining his fingers from attaching his picture to all the replies he will get.
- She’s from Enfield and eight months pregnant but horny as a toad. Her idea of a good time is not a well-endowed man but a woman with a strap on. You have to host and drive.
- Ladies: he’s 21 and wants to eat your ass out, but only if you are clean. Go figure. No reciprocation and you must host for some reason. Gents: here’s a 28-year-old woman with the same obsession but only if you have nice buns.
- If it’s one thing female posters tend to be clear about when looking for men online: no dick pictures! Men put them up anyhow assuming just the opposite, including men like this 21 year old dude from East Hartford. He is hoping they will attract black women, although apparently any woman will do. Curiously although you can see two explicit dick pictures, he’s willing to send you more. Umm, dude, there’s nothing left to reveal!
- Speaking of big dicks, if you are you 50+ and have one, this 50+ married woman wants to hear from you.
- Be her date … to the Hartford “Arts” Cinema where XXX movies play all day and kinky action happens inside the theater that at least occasionally can model the action on the screen. This black coed will be your date. For the price of two tickets (you pay) she will be the slut you always wanted and presumably both you and the raincoat crowd there will have plenty of carnal knowledge of her.
- Now this is definitely weird: here’s a guy looking for a public wanker: another guy under 40 to jerk off on his car window or dashboard window.
- He’s looking for a guy but has a unique requirement: you must be Russian.
- She can’t get enough and must be too much for her swinging partner so he’s cutting her loose. She likes dominant guys with hard bodies and prefers younger men for their rapid recovery power. Like the Energizer bunny she claims she can keep going and going all night. Bring the Cialis.
- Having stinky feet is an asset to this man, and he is willing to pay a woman for the opportunity for a close encounter with them.
- Her boyfriend is going to be surprised when she (flying in from California) comes to visit and brings you along for a little threesome action. You must be a woman between 24 and 30.
- It’s not everyday that you find a cross dresser looking for another cross dresser. I’m not sure what they would do together. Compare erotic underwear? I probably don’t want to know.
More next month.
It’s a Friday in New England and thus a good day for my monthly sample of the postings on the Craigslist’s Hartford (Connecticut) casual encounters section. My guess is at best only 1% of these will get realized this weekend, if that much. But we humans like to dream big, so let’s see how big these dreams are this weekend.
My traffic tends to slow down in the summer, due to vacations or whatnot. This was true in June, with Google Analytics showing a total of 1,334 web page views. Significantly though traffic for Craigslist posts on my site was way up: at least 280 page views, or 21% of my web traffic. So this posting is for you fellow Craigslist fans, who are always curious to see what curated bizarre and unusual requests from the id I can find every month.
Surveying the first page of postings I find:
- 33 men are looking for a woman
- 32 men are looking for a man
- 5 men are looking for a couple
- 6 men are looking for a transgender
- 2 women are looking for a man
- 1 woman is looking for a woman
- 3 couples are looking for a woman
- 2 couples are looking for a man
- 2 couples are looking for another couple
- 3 transgender people are looking for men
- 1 transgender person is looking for a couple
Let’s don our latex suits and dive into the cesspool:
- Do you like your transvestite men in leather? This guy who actually lives in Vermont likes his leather, likes his bike and cruises New England regularly looking for pretty much anyone (man or woman) who wants to use him as his or her submissive biker “bitch”. He may be in leather, but he’s not much to look at. Amazingly, there are pictures of him at it with at least one guy, so you probably won’t be the first one on Craigslist to actually meet this “woman”. And you won’t have to wait long to contact him. His phone number is embedded in a picture. Happy cruising!
- Life is coming up yellow for this Plainville man, or at least he hopes it will. He’s basically looking for a woman to piss all over him, and if you want he’ll return the favor. I’m betting he provides plenty of free drinks. There’s a dorky picture of him next to a Christmas tree to see what you will get, but if you don’t go blind from looking at it, you’ll probably feel an urge to run away instead. He wants to stay super clean so good news: urine is generally very sterile.
- She’s 28, married and looking for another guy for sex only. The only thing that makes this post unusual is she’s quite flexible about your age. She’s willing to consider a married man up to age 50.
- He’s not a real doctor and he lives near the border between Connecticut and Massachusetts, but I have to give him an A for effort for his “doctor/patient” fantasy. He must have taken a creative writing class. Anyhow ladies if you want to try this scenario with this pretend physician or just need to read something to buzz off to bliss with his post is at least worth a read. This poster will do too, ladies, particularly if you have fantasies about oral sex.
- This 30-year-old woman from Mansfield wants to discreetly give head to a guy through a gloryhole. It must be at her house or apartment, because her husband will be in the next room and won’t know what’s going on. You must be completely quiet. If she is doing her work right would be pretty hard to stay silent, I would think. As for hubby, I would think the hole in the door might be a clue. No wonder she is “super nervous”.
- Men, are you stupid and horny enough to leave two twenties somewhere and then rush somewhere else to meet a woman you haven’t met for some paid sex? This poster apparently thinks some men on Craigslist are stupid enough. He’s certainly right. Avoid this lady from East Hampton.
- Hey, there’s potential glory for any of us older men with a still highly active endocrine system: there’s another post from a 20-something woman looking for age 50+ men like me. Also, likely the same woman is looking for her daddy in two posts.
- Some men like to be used with a strap on. Good news: here’s a woman that wants to do it to her “slave”.
- Ladies: she just wants to watch you get off by yourself.
- This young woman from Meriden is looking for a woman for a short-term friend with benefits relationship. But goodness, from her detailed ad I think she’s interviewing potential marriage partners! Oh, and she’s sharing dozens of pictures.
- In perhaps an attempt to increase interracial harmony this white couple (age 40) in a hotel in Hartford wants to hook up with a local black couple tonight, providing the male is very well endowed.
- In a similar vein, here’s a senior couple looking for thin seniors only to mess around with.
- This couple I think is the same one I mentioned last month because she is 54 and he is announcing that she will be available Sunday at the Hartford Art Cinema from noon to 4:30 PM. This is as likely as many men is going to get to finding sexual contact through Craigslist this weekend, so I’d go with this option guys. I doubt your minister will approve.
- Hey straight men, if you so horny you don’t mind oral sex from both husband and wife, and you are age 30 to 45 and fit, then this 39-year-old couple from Windsor Locks will tag team you. But boy they sure do have some unusual and kinky requirements. After reading them you may figure out you aren’t as horny as you thought.
- I guess this gay guy is flexible because he is willing to tag team with his bi guy friend with a woman or a couple. Some women though get off on watching two guys get off, so this may be a rare opportunity to experience it live. If you strike out with these guys, try these two guys.
There will likely be more in August.