This month instead of looking at postings in Craigslist’s Hartford casual encounters site, I’m going to look instead at Albany, New York’s site. Albany is a major city about ninety minutes by car (with a fair tailwind) to my west. Albany is also the capital of New York State. It happens to be situated about twenty miles from Schenectady, where I was born. Curiously with the lack of much in the way of FM news stations here in the Pioneer Valley, I listen to Albany radio quite a lot, more specifically WAMC at 90.3, the NPR station. So perhaps it’s appropriate.
First let me provide a report on my September Craigslist statistics. Google Analytics reports at least 162 web page views for my Craigslist posts in September. This is pretty low and may be the lowest number of hits since I started recording these statistics. I say “at least” because Google Analytics dashboard won’t show more than ten entries with “Craigslist” in the title, and I know these posts are read frequently via other media like newsfeeds. This is ten percent of my 1628 web page views for the month. So perhaps this Craigslist traffic trend has peaked at last. We’ll see in subsequent months.
Anyhow perhaps things will be fresher in Albany than they are in Hartford, Connecticut. No way to know without diving in. It’s the first Friday of the month so doubtless people have high expectations for their weekend. On the first page of posts I see:
- 35 men looking for a woman
- 47 men looking for a man
- 5 men looking for a couple
- 2 men looking for a transgender/transvestite
- 1 man looking for multiple men
- 3 women looking for a man
- 2 women looking for a woman
- 2 couples looking for a man
- 1 couple looking for a woman
- 2 couples looking for another couple
- 1 transgender/transvestite looking for a man
And we’re off:
- This 47-year-old man from Guilderland doesn’t understand that wanting to give oral sex to a young man is not a fetish. Symorophilia, now that’s a fetish. Anyhow, it’s too bad this man is only 47. If he were 60 or older, this younger man from Albany would be interested.
- Now this is weird: this “horny housewife” is looking for two guys who are related to ravage her. Some examples include father/son, two brothers or uncle/nephew. I guess that’s keeping it all in the family, but what would mom say?
- This couple age 29 and 31 want another woman to join them. What makes it kind of weird is that she probably won’t participate in any actual sex. Instead, they get to watch her slip bras and panties on and off while they get it on. Only if there is chemistry will things go further. It’s unclear how they will draw a woman in the first place if all she will do is repeatedly dress and undress. They might want to rethink their marketing strategy.
- This sixtyish couple likes to hear other couples describe their most private and erotic fantasies. And that’s all they are offering: you type it up and send it email and they will read them and send back some of their own. They also want to hear your real life exploits.
- Looks like my new hometown of Northampton, Massachusetts will be hosting a bunch of swingers early next week. Not sure why they are making people drive all the way from Albany and are having it during the workweek, but anyhow if you are a couple hit them up.
- If you are a woman with too many panties or need some side income selling your used panties, contact this Albany man. He wants a long-term thing if possible, so maybe he’s planning to open his used panty museum.
- Here’s a gay guy who has a foot fetish, so guys he will do all sorts of peculiar stuff to your feet and toes with his hands and mouth but he is not into men who used athletic socks or sneakers and you have to be available evenings and you got to send him your stats and shoe size.
- No lie: this gay man from Schenectady is looking to be bottomed today in a bookstore with others watching. Schenectady police: please respond.
- This woman is hoping to find her next husband through a Craigslist casual encounters post. Unless your standards are incredibly low, may I suggest OKCupid or eHarmony?
- Cuckold couples: he wants to be your bull, but is he 46, 48 or 53? More than likely, it’s the latter.
- If you are a woman who likes to be rimmed, here’s the guy you need. If you don’t know what rimming is, the picture will show you.
- He’s a 55-year-old transvestite with erectile dysfunction, so that part is off limits. Otherwise guys, have fun!
- This cat from Colonie will play with other women while her man is away in New York watching the Mets game. She’s 32, pretty and slinky and has some very explicit pictures but guys, just piss off!
There will be more next month when I may explore Boston.
It’s a little early for my monthly review of the local (Hartford, Connecticut) Craigslist casual encounter section. I usually wait until the first Friday of the month because weekend postings tend to the most weird. But I’m between clients at the moment and a bit bored. Moreover, I’ve done a lot of weighty posts lately so it’s time for a bit of fantasy, which is almost always the case for these postings being realized.
Looking at my August traffic, there were at least 221 web page requests for my Craigslist posts on a total of 1376 page views. So while overall page views were in their usual summer doldrums, my Craigslist post accounted for 16% of traffic, up from last month.
Looking at who’s posting I count the types of ads on the first page that comes up. It’s mostly men looking for other men today. I was thinking after the recent Ashley Madison hack the married men would have moved to Craigslist, but apparently not in large numbers. Anyhow:
- 30 men are looking for a woman
- 48 men are looking for a man
- 6 men are looking for a couple
- 4 men are looking for a transgender/transvestite
- 0 women are looking for a man. That’s likely because their ads were quickly flagged.
- 4 women are looking for a woman
- 2 couples are looking for a woman
- 1 transgender/transvestite is looking for a man
- 1 transgender/transvestite is looking for a transgender/transvestite
Time to put on the dark shades and latex gloves and document some of this month’s weird nastiness. Since there aren’t many postings from women today, I’m going to spice it up by adding some postings from women more locally, i.e. the Western Massachusetts Craigslist section.
- She’s a married BBW from Windsor Locks and her husband is okay with you screwing her bareback. In fact, he only wants you to take her bareback because apparently because he’s apparently quite interested in whatever you end up depositing. Eee-yuck!
- Lots of women post for very well endowed men. Here’s a twist. Here’s a guy who wants you served his way. Hold the pickles; ladies he only wants you if you have big buns. And he wants to plant some hickeys on those buns too.
- This is pretty strange. He sounds like a married farmer in the Farmington Valley but he’s willing to provide a free room to a woman if he gets to look at you (presumably undressed). He won’t touch you unless you are okay with it. You do have to help with chores. And somehow his wifey is not going to figure this out.
- Attention Home Depot security at the Glastonbury store. He’s 40 and stroking his eight inches in the store (discreetly, I hope) and is hoping to find a man to join him. Let’s hope they don’t scare the women, children and horses.
- He’s hoping! He’s near Wethersfield and he’s hoping you’re a woman with a car and you will pick him up for some naughty stuff because his car is in the shop and his roommates annoy him. He’s probably still sporting acne (he’s 19).
- Now this is interesting. It’s illegal to exchange money for sex but I don’t think it’s illegal to barter for sex. In exchange for a woman’s pleasure he’ll provide handyman services. It sounds though like he wants a lot of your services in exchange, so I’m not sure it’s a fair deal. Ladies, he’s got six inches and he lives near Plainville.
- I was dimly aware of a device called a fleshlight. It’s a wanking device for a man who has everything but a woman with a vagina. I didn’t know it came in a double size so two (presumably gay) men could use it at once. Anyhow, this young man from Windsor Heights is looking for another man for multiple dual fleshlight sessions.
- They claim to be three people from Newington (two men, one woman) that play together. They are looking for a fourth, and she needs to be a she. Anyhow, in the unlikely event a woman tries to hook up with this triad, I’m betting the woman in the triad is mysteriously absent and came down with a sudden cold or something.
- About that transgender looking for a transgender? She is now a he and all the surgery is behind him. He is now looking for a fellow transitioning male in any stage of his transition for naughty intimate play mostly involving his new part.
- He’s from Manchester and is looking for Hooters girls only. He’ll make it worth your while.
- Attention grandpas near Southampton, Massachusetts. (I might add it is about five miles down the road from me and I happen to be old enough to be a grandpa.) Anyhow, if you have had your Cialis and you don’t mind catching some dread disease this submissive woman from Southampton wants you to take her bareback. Umm, pass.
- I don’t quite understand why a butch lesbian would be advertising for a guy but she’s all-natural apparently. Either she’s bisexual or she’s hoping to get pregnant.
That’s about all the weirdness I can find this month. Perhaps there will be better postings in October.
And we’re back with our monthly local look at Craigslist’s casual encounters section. We always hope as usual to find some unusual gems of weirdness among the heaping pile of mostly mediocre postings. We’re looking at Craigslist’s Hartford, Connecticut section again because it’s a sizeable community not too far from me. I may move to Boston or Albany on occasion just to see if posts are any weirder over there.
In June I had close to three hundred web page views for this stuff. Passion must be cooling as I can only document 180 reads in July for my Craigslist posts. However, traffic was down in July in general, a phenomenon I see every summer, with 1466 web page views, so this traffic still accounted for 12% of traffic, which is about normal.
Scanning the first page of posts on this Friday morning I see:
- 43 men looking for a woman
- 39 men looking for a man
- 2 men looking for a couple
- 2 men looking for multiple men
- 1 group of men looking for a man
- 5 women looking for a man
- 2 women looking for a woman
- 1 couple looking for a woman
- 2 transgender persons looking for a man
Let’s see what the cat drags in today:
- This is promising. The first post is from a man with a breast pump looking for an adult breastfeed/adult nursing relationship. He’s open to just about anyone but presumably there has to be a woman in there somewhere, although he is happy if you are a couple, lesbian or straight. Naturally he prefers if you are lactating but I guess he is willing to try to get things primed given that beggars can’t be choosers. Oh, and about him: six foot, 43 and he’s XXX which in this case means extra, extra, extra large but he’s cool with his size. He will send you his picture if you reply. He doesn’t have to worry about straining his fingers from attaching his picture to all the replies he will get.
- She’s from Enfield and eight months pregnant but horny as a toad. Her idea of a good time is not a well-endowed man but a woman with a strap on. You have to host and drive.
- Ladies: he’s 21 and wants to eat your ass out, but only if you are clean. Go figure. No reciprocation and you must host for some reason. Gents: here’s a 28-year-old woman with the same obsession but only if you have nice buns.
- If it’s one thing female posters tend to be clear about when looking for men online: no dick pictures! Men put them up anyhow assuming just the opposite, including men like this 21 year old dude from East Hartford. He is hoping they will attract black women, although apparently any woman will do. Curiously although you can see two explicit dick pictures, he’s willing to send you more. Umm, dude, there’s nothing left to reveal!
- Speaking of big dicks, if you are you 50+ and have one, this 50+ married woman wants to hear from you.
- Be her date … to the Hartford “Arts” Cinema where XXX movies play all day and kinky action happens inside the theater that at least occasionally can model the action on the screen. This black coed will be your date. For the price of two tickets (you pay) she will be the slut you always wanted and presumably both you and the raincoat crowd there will have plenty of carnal knowledge of her.
- Now this is definitely weird: here’s a guy looking for a public wanker: another guy under 40 to jerk off on his car window or dashboard window.
- He’s looking for a guy but has a unique requirement: you must be Russian.
- She can’t get enough and must be too much for her swinging partner so he’s cutting her loose. She likes dominant guys with hard bodies and prefers younger men for their rapid recovery power. Like the Energizer bunny she claims she can keep going and going all night. Bring the Cialis.
- Having stinky feet is an asset to this man, and he is willing to pay a woman for the opportunity for a close encounter with them.
- Her boyfriend is going to be surprised when she (flying in from California) comes to visit and brings you along for a little threesome action. You must be a woman between 24 and 30.
- It’s not everyday that you find a cross dresser looking for another cross dresser. I’m not sure what they would do together. Compare erotic underwear? I probably don’t want to know.
More next month.
It’s a Friday in New England and thus a good day for my monthly sample of the postings on the Craigslist’s Hartford (Connecticut) casual encounters section. My guess is at best only 1% of these will get realized this weekend, if that much. But we humans like to dream big, so let’s see how big these dreams are this weekend.
My traffic tends to slow down in the summer, due to vacations or whatnot. This was true in June, with Google Analytics showing a total of 1,334 web page views. Significantly though traffic for Craigslist posts on my site was way up: at least 280 page views, or 21% of my web traffic. So this posting is for you fellow Craigslist fans, who are always curious to see what curated bizarre and unusual requests from the id I can find every month.
Surveying the first page of postings I find:
- 33 men are looking for a woman
- 32 men are looking for a man
- 5 men are looking for a couple
- 6 men are looking for a transgender
- 2 women are looking for a man
- 1 woman is looking for a woman
- 3 couples are looking for a woman
- 2 couples are looking for a man
- 2 couples are looking for another couple
- 3 transgender people are looking for men
- 1 transgender person is looking for a couple
Let’s don our latex suits and dive into the cesspool:
- Do you like your transvestite men in leather? This guy who actually lives in Vermont likes his leather, likes his bike and cruises New England regularly looking for pretty much anyone (man or woman) who wants to use him as his or her submissive biker “bitch”. He may be in leather, but he’s not much to look at. Amazingly, there are pictures of him at it with at least one guy, so you probably won’t be the first one on Craigslist to actually meet this “woman”. And you won’t have to wait long to contact him. His phone number is embedded in a picture. Happy cruising!
- Life is coming up yellow for this Plainville man, or at least he hopes it will. He’s basically looking for a woman to piss all over him, and if you want he’ll return the favor. I’m betting he provides plenty of free drinks. There’s a dorky picture of him next to a Christmas tree to see what you will get, but if you don’t go blind from looking at it, you’ll probably feel an urge to run away instead. He wants to stay super clean so good news: urine is generally very sterile.
- She’s 28, married and looking for another guy for sex only. The only thing that makes this post unusual is she’s quite flexible about your age. She’s willing to consider a married man up to age 50.
- He’s not a real doctor and he lives near the border between Connecticut and Massachusetts, but I have to give him an A for effort for his “doctor/patient” fantasy. He must have taken a creative writing class. Anyhow ladies if you want to try this scenario with this pretend physician or just need to read something to buzz off to bliss with his post is at least worth a read. This poster will do too, ladies, particularly if you have fantasies about oral sex.
- This 30-year-old woman from Mansfield wants to discreetly give head to a guy through a gloryhole. It must be at her house or apartment, because her husband will be in the next room and won’t know what’s going on. You must be completely quiet. If she is doing her work right would be pretty hard to stay silent, I would think. As for hubby, I would think the hole in the door might be a clue. No wonder she is “super nervous”.
- Men, are you stupid and horny enough to leave two twenties somewhere and then rush somewhere else to meet a woman you haven’t met for some paid sex? This poster apparently thinks some men on Craigslist are stupid enough. He’s certainly right. Avoid this lady from East Hampton.
- Hey, there’s potential glory for any of us older men with a still highly active endocrine system: there’s another post from a 20-something woman looking for age 50+ men like me. Also, likely the same woman is looking for her daddy in two posts.
- Some men like to be used with a strap on. Good news: here’s a woman that wants to do it to her “slave”.
- Ladies: she just wants to watch you get off by yourself.
- This young woman from Meriden is looking for a woman for a short-term friend with benefits relationship. But goodness, from her detailed ad I think she’s interviewing potential marriage partners! Oh, and she’s sharing dozens of pictures.
- In perhaps an attempt to increase interracial harmony this white couple (age 40) in a hotel in Hartford wants to hook up with a local black couple tonight, providing the male is very well endowed.
- In a similar vein, here’s a senior couple looking for thin seniors only to mess around with.
- This couple I think is the same one I mentioned last month because she is 54 and he is announcing that she will be available Sunday at the Hartford Art Cinema from noon to 4:30 PM. This is as likely as many men is going to get to finding sexual contact through Craigslist this weekend, so I’d go with this option guys. I doubt your minister will approve.
- Hey straight men, if you so horny you don’t mind oral sex from both husband and wife, and you are age 30 to 45 and fit, then this 39-year-old couple from Windsor Locks will tag team you. But boy they sure do have some unusual and kinky requirements. After reading them you may figure out you aren’t as horny as you thought.
- I guess this gay guy is flexible because he is willing to tag team with his bi guy friend with a woman or a couple. Some women though get off on watching two guys get off, so this may be a rare opportunity to experience it live. If you strike out with these guys, try these two guys.
There will likely be more in August.
It’s that time of the month … for my review of the local Craigslist casual encounters section. When I say “local”, in this case “local” is Hartford, Connecticut, about an hour’s drive south from where I am living now. It’s the first sizeable metropolitan area near me now. If it’s not sizeable, the postings tend to be lame. I tried reviewing Hartford last month and found it quite promising.
I can count at least 194 web page views for this stuff in May, or about 11% of my total web traffic. Today at midweek looking at the first page of ads I find that as usual horny men are taking over the place:
- 41 men are looking for a man
- 42 men are looking for a woman
- 1 man is looking for multiple men
- 4 men are looking for a couple
- 2 guys are teaming up and are looking for one woman
- 2 transgender women are looking for a man
- 2 couples are looking for a couple
- 3 women looking for a man
Hopefully, Hartford won’t disappoint me in June. Let’s dig in:
- Legitimate postings from women in this part of Craigslist are pretty rare. Here’s a 63-year-old woman looking for an endowed man to give him a blowjob. The only thing that piques my curiosity is how many men (probably much younger) are so horny they don’t care about her age. I’m betting it’s a lot but I’m not convinced the ad is legitimate.
- Can a FWB (friend with benefits) also be a freak? That’s what this self-proclaimed big beautiful woman wants from her FWB. She doesn’t want just any freak, but a very well endowed black man who is freaky. She’s 44 but doesn’t want you if you are attached. Speaking for myself, the last thing I want in a friend is someone freaky.
- Two female roommates are looking to “share” a well-endowed man, presumably at the same time. Curiously though they won’t host. What’s up with that?
- She offers “sweet relief” but it sounds like she really offers especially intimate massages, all completely safe, so don’t expect kissing or penetration. I’d bring a lot of cash.
- She offers even safer sex: naughty pictures by email of her 19-year-old coed body, but only for a fee, of course. She’s posted at least twice: here and here.
- She is looking for officer material … literally. If you aren’t a police officer, don’t bother responding.
- How respectful is a 59-year-old man posting as a woman so he can get you to read an ad where he says he wants to watch you masturbate to orgasm? Not very. Respect starts with being truthful, dude. Post this crap under m4w.
- Are you a submissive lesbian woman hoping for a dominant 28-year-old woman? This lady from Glastonbury looks great in her red dress, so even if you are not submissive you might want to fake it for the chance to play with her.
- Ladies, here’s your opportunity to try out a woman from Vernon who has never had a woman, but only if her 21-year-old boyfriend can watch. Pass.
- In a similar vein, here’s a submissive lady looking for a “sister slave”. Pass on this one as well.
- This is odd: a couple is looking for a well-endowed black man to see intimate pictures of his 45-year-old wife, but you will never meet. It all has to be done virtually. Why do their requirements matter? And why bother if this is your thing? You can see five intimate pictures of her posted in the ad and save yourself the hassle of contacting them.
- This is odder: a couple is looking to get spanked by a man age 60 or older, but they are not looking for sex or inappropriate touching. A dirty old man can’t catch a break on Craigslist!
- It’s not often that you can see what you will get in advance. Hartford has an art cinema and this couple is coming there to play on Saturday, and the wife will be very accommodating to all men that meet her criteria. Freshly showered and well-endowed guys should plan to be inside the Hartford Art cinema starting in the afternoon. They’ll be playing on both levels. She may be 51, but she can wash my car anytime. See photos.
- This is a confusing ad: a man-woman couple is actually a dominant man and “she” is his slave boy, age 24. They are looking for you (a guy) to have “her” to degrade and do many other nasty things to “her”, but only safely.
- He’s 55 and is looking for a man to “rim”. If you don’t know what that is, suffice to say you probably don’t want to know. He doesn’t want to reciprocate but you must be half his age or less. The main requirement is to have nice buns.
- They are a couple. He wants her to squirt, but she doesn’t know how, so she needs a teacher. You (a woman) should come over and show her how it is done. My question: where do you get certified in this stuff?
- Hair is good, the more the better according to this gay man who likes his men natural, including sporting an untrimmed beard.
- Finally, an honest man: he’s simply looking for a “piece of meat”. I’d suggest a tube steak from the local Big Y.
- Last but not least is this truly kinky ad from a woman looking for a man. Dildos and an open mouth are required. She’s in her late 30s.
More in July.
Now that I’ve moved I’ve considered giving up monthly reviews of the local Craigslist Casual Encounters section. But my web statistics keep telling me to persevere. These posts remain popular for my small blog: 206 hits in the last 30 days, 218 hits for April, about 12% of my total hits. And that’s just the web traffic, and only the top ten pages with “Craigslist” in the title of the post. Add in syndicated traffic and my email subscribers and the number is doubtless higher.
Where I’m living now (Western Massachusetts) these postings are too lame to share. Springfield is fifteen miles away from me. It is Massachusetts’s third largest city with 700,000 people in the greater area. But it doesn’t warrant its own Craigslist section. So if I’m going to look for weird casual encounter postings, I either need to stop or broaden my range of “local”.
Aside from city of Springfield, the nearest largest cities are Hartford, Connecticut; Albany, New York; and Boston. Boston’s Craigslist includes most of the eastern part of Massachusetts including Worchester. Hartford is practically in spitting distance from Springfield. Its greater metropolitan area has about 1.2 million people, which makes it comparable to the Northern Virginia region that I used to scan. So it will do. But will it have the same bizarre flavor as Northern Virginia’s Craigslist section? Or are people less kinky in Greater Hartford? Let’s sample postings on this Wednesday night to find out.
- This sexy black man with quite a bit to spare between the legs could have his choice of women into “larger” men, but for some reason is posting for a “tranny” instead. Whatever floats your boat, dude.
- In Northern Virginia it wasn’t hard to find groups of heterosexual guys looking to gangbang one or more women. There is little evidence so far that there are groups of guys like this in Hartford, but there is at least this dynamic duo, age 30 from Newington.
- Oh my goodness! There are scam artists on Craigslist! Who would have thought? Off Pascal Lane in Manchester is this “woman” (see her picture) who is actually a passable transvestite with a secret boyfriend in the back. Meet her and rather than get sex her boyfriend will rob you. At least this poster was kind enough to warn fellow casual encounters readers. Let’s hope this deters a few of these many highly hormone-infused men.
- In fact there are plenty of women who are using Craigslist to pay a few bills, and then some. Yes, shockingly there are whores in this area of Craigslist. Of course, this is not news to regular readers of this area, and when looking at W4M posts they are easy to find. Some get missed but are easy to spot if you read between the lines:
- She claims to be 25 and is looking for an older guy who “knows how to take care of a girl”
- She’s 24, a BBW (big beautiful woman) and wants to spend quality time with you but only if you are not cheap
- She’s not technically a whore as you won’t get any sex, but she is “trying to make ends meet” and will send you “private pictures” presumably only if you meet her ends, but not meet in her end
- He’s stuck at an airport hotel. His idea of successfully getting unstuck is to stick something very personal of his into you (a woman). He wants to know if any women are intrigued enough to come to his hotel, but most likely a woman won’t even read his ad. I suggest the hotel’s bar, if it has one, for his cruising ground tonight. This guy from Enfield is also at a hotel and feeling frisky, so feel free to shop around ladies! Ask if there are free chocolate chip cookies at the hotel’s front desk.
- Why are women having so much trouble finding age 60+ men for sex? My guess it is the generally high incidence of erectile dysfunction in this group caused by the lower testosterone levels of older men in general. Anyhow, this woman from Middlesex County is pissed about it and will give you a piece of her mind because she says she’s legit. She may actually be this poster too. She’s available near Dartmouth Crossing and is usually available between 9 AM and 1 PM. Perhaps the local Red Roof Inn has convenient hourly rates and a senior citizen discount.
- Attention clueless Craigslist men: here are some signs that a posting from a woman might not be legit. She has the same URL plastered three times over her picture. Her ad title says she’s looking for “skaters” and “bbc” but her ad doesn’t mention either of these. Of course she looks very young and hot. How is this happening? Some scammers are picking erotic pictures off the Internet, embedding their adult site in the picture and wrapping them around a simple program that spits out lurid titles and one line “sentences” with no punctuation then posts them probably using an automated process. There are dozens of these a day that look similar, usually with no location attached because a spammer can’t be bothered to take time to find the names of cities near where they are targeting. Enlightened yet?
- Women embed their phone numbers in these ads all the time. These women are hookers and their ads are quickly flagged. It is unusual to see a guy looking for a gal adapt the same strategy, but this 54-year-old dude seems to want mostly to cuddle and have conversation.
- Another “dad” (49 from West Hartford) is looking for his “son”. Not to worry Dad, your 22-year-old son wants to hear from you too.
- Apparently Hartford has an “art” cinema. You don’t find many of these anymore. They used to be called adult theaters, in those days before X rated videos became widely available. Now it’s all the porn you can want for free on the Internet. Anyhow apparently the Hartford Art Cinema is one of these theaters still catering to the raincoat crowd. Based on this review on Reddit, it sounds like a pretty disgusting theater, but apparently at least occasionally consenting adults do naughty things in semi-public there. It sounds like a place where dirty old men and dirty middle aged men can hang out. When not surreptitiously masturbating on a good day maybe a couple like this one will come in and provide a show, and maybe more.
- Ladies: if you want to see a guy jerk off, this 50-year-old guy is happy to oblige. Here’s another guy with a simpler proposition: you want to get high? If you want to get high badly enough, you won’t care that he’s 39 and married.
- If you are a gay man and want to use a man’s mouth for your urinal, this 27-year-old guy from Hartford with a suggestive picture taken in a men’s room is ready.
- Most men looking for women in this section of Craigslist know it’s a waste of time. If you are going to post this type of ad anyhow, be specific. Ask for women with pigtails and sneakers, like this 36-year-old man from Hartford.
More next month, maybe. Hartford looks promising for this sort of entertainment.
This will be my last monthly survey of Northern Virginia Craigslist casual encounter section. A month from now I will be living in New England. Western Massachusetts (where I’ll be living) has a very lame Craigslist casual encounters section. But I’ll be an hour from Hartford, Connecticut and ninety minutes from Boston. I might survey this section for these cities for future posts. It’s a cheap form of entertainment for you and it’s an easy way for me to garner hits without sweating too much at the keyboard. These posts garnered at least 175 web page views in March, about a hundred less than in February and amounted to just ten percent of web traffic. So I may have mined this Craigslist meme for all it’s worth, which may be a relief to some of you looking for weightier content. I’ll see how it goes.
Surveying the first page of posts tonight I see:
- 46 men looking for a woman
- 24 men looking for a man
- 5 men looking for a couple
- 8 women looking for a man
- 1 woman looking for a woman, which appears to be a post warning that the referenced ad is a fake
- 4 transgender people looking for a man
- 2 couples looking for another couple
And now for the naughty bits:
- Linda Lovelace lives … or at least has been reincarnated. This youngish woman of an unspecified age is going retro (early 1970s) when the braless look and halter-tops were in. If you don’t know what Linda was known for, let’s just say she claimed her clitoris was deep down her throat. That should be enough for you to know what she wants to do with a man tonight, and she wants her man very wide between his legs. I suspect this is another bogus ad, but who knows? Maybe she is into erotic asphyxiation.
- Couples, what’s the point of having a threesome with just any man when you can go with a reliable source? This 48-year-old man from McLean claims to have done this many times, and misses his FWB couple and actually prefers to be the extra male. He does have some competition tonight, such as this 42-year-old Scot from Arlington, so be selective couples!
- As a 50-plus man, I can understand the appeal of a “sugar babe” half my age if I were independently wealthy. But how much sugar should a 48-year-old woman be worth, particularly when she spells sugar “surgar” and can’t complete a grammatical sentence? Men: give her Splenda instead.
- He’s a 28-year-old man from Gaithersburg wanting to buy women’s used panties, the messier the better. He’s open to worn bras as well. He’s either into female pheromones or, more likely, he’s so unattractive that this is the closest he can get to intimacy with a woman, which is pathetic. He is willing to trade just in case you are a woman with a similar kink.
- Men seem to find infinite ways to have their M4W ad stand out on Craigslist. Usually it’s the unappealing dick pic. This six foot one inch guy of an indeterminate age is going for the mentorship angle. It probably won’t work but he must figure it’s worth a try.
- Faked incest ads are still in evidence this month. Here’s a 24-year-old “son” looking for his freaky “mom”. He is looking for a woman over age 30. So it’s okay if your mom was 7 years old when she had you? What’s up with that?
- She’s 31, married but attracted to her gender and wants to work out her feelings through dirty texting only.
- He’s from Montgomery County, horny but doesn’t want to get past third base. He’s willing to pay you for your time. What’s with not wanting to score that home run? Most likely: fear of erectile dysfunction.
- This is weird. He’s a 42-year-old guy from Centreville looking for a guy, but he’s got a girlfriend. He wants to deep throat you wearing his girlfriend’s nylon panties and he wants to do this in your car in a parking lot near where he lives. He’s not only weird; he’s weirdly particular. And there are seven pictures of him wearing various colors of his girlfriend’s panties. He pretty much gets all the colors of the rainbow.
- It’s a 23-year-old surfer dude from Woodbridge who hasn’t been laid in two years. Ladies, check out his Beach Boys approved picture and catch his wave!
- She’s a 33-year-old African American “pillow princess” from Manassas. Basically she and her boyfriend want to have a threesome with a woman. She wants to get dirty with you but screwing her man is out, although a blowjob is maybe okay. However, if you do it she’ll probably be upset and pout. So it basically sounds like she is not ready for this, so find another ad instead ladies.
- If you are a woman looking for a woman tonight, go for this extremely cute 19-year-old from Ashburn. Most men would willingly undergo a sex change operation to have one encounter with her. Even weirder: the ad looks legit.
- Craigslist ads are often baffling and this one from what looks like a black woman who is never having sex again but wants to give oral sex is one of the most baffling tonight. She either has a phobia against her own genitals or has a terrible yeast infection. Or she’s high as a kite. I’m going with the last one.
- Married men looking for a bit on the side ads tend to overwhelm this Craigslist section. They all want a single woman who can host and are desperately advertising for her. Finally, a 41-year-old single woman from Alexandria has an ad just for you horn dogs. Doubtless her email inbox is overflowing and may be crashing her email server.
- Speaking of dogs: men, are you submissive? Would you like to be her dog? Prepare to start howling for her moons. Good doggy!
- A married 42-year-old BBW female exhibitionist with her husband’s consent seeks a single male voyeur. She is looking for erotic modeling requests, hopefully outdoors. If you are hoping for more, it looks like this is as far as you will get with her.
- A group of older and mostly married bikers is looking for one woman. Basically they are only interested in making sperm bank deposits into your mouth.
For me the woman looking for a man to be her dog wins the award for the most bizarre and disturbing ad this month.
Sorry Craigslist fans. I am a bit late with this month’s review. I typically do it on the first Friday of the month. But I was occupied with my weekend trip to Baltimore and selling my house. So here I am midweek and wondering if the quality of postings on the Northern Virginia Craigslist Casual Encounters section on a Wednesday will come close to matching those I usually find on Fridays. There’s only one way to find out and that’s to dive in.
A few statistics first. For February I had at least 255 web page requests for my Craigslist posts, about 14% of total traffic. Doubtless there were many more via email and newsfeeds that I can’t track. The first page of listings today shows no women at all looking for men. This would be strange except such posts are almost quickly flagged and deleted, because they are usually judged as bogus. So I will browse beyond the first page so women get some representation today. Otherwise on page one I see:
- 39 men looking for women
- 47 men looking for a man
- 2 men looking for a couple
- 2 women looking for a woman
- 1 couple looking for another couple
- 4 transgender people looking for a man
So here we go:
- He’s a 23-year-old man with a hotel room and his own gloryhole inside it. I’m trying to figure out how he does this. He can’t replace the hotel room door with his own door. I guess he would have to haul his own door into the hotel room and put it up there, but presumably it can’t attach to the wall or anything. And it would be pretty hard to hide from security cameras. Or maybe he strings a blanket from the ceiling and cuts out a hole in it, or puts up an eight foot high piece of cardboard attached to the walls with duct tape. I have no particular attraction to my own sex, but I kind of wish he included a picture with his set up. It would probably qualify for posting on whitetrashrepairs.com.
- She’s from Manassas and wants to learn how to milk your prostate. Speaking as a guy, this sounds about as much fun as getting kicked in the balls, but if you are into this give her a try. You must send a photo and be over 40.
- He’s basically a 22-year-old virgin. He’d probably have more luck snaring a woman if he simply put that in the ad’s title.
- She’s 19, from Bristow and is into daddy incest. Not with her real daddy of course, and I suspect this is ultimately about separating you from your wallet. Her picture may convince you to give her a try. If you want to do this with a MILF, this 41-year-old woman is looking for a male to do bondage with and possibly incest role-play as well. What she really wants is to use you to find another woman to join you who she would then top. This sounds very complicated! So if that’s too much, there’s also this 42-year-old woman looking for a similar daddy encounter, which presumably would mean a happy time for some 60+ area man. Incest, or really fake incest, must be the new up and coming kink on Craigslist.
- They are a couple looking for another couple but they do have their standards. To weed out flakes, the women must chat on the phone first and you must send them a picture of both of you together. Also, you must be in shape and under 50.
- Somewhere in Sterling or Ashburn is a 48-year-old crossdressing man who wants to meet another man in the public restroom stall in his office building. He wants to get to the bottom of this encounter, his bottom actually, but only until 5. Presumably he’ll be on an extended potty break from his desk job.
- If you are into urinating on, berating and degrading women on their balcony in the dark check out this attractive woman. She’s also looking for a big cock (aren’t they all?). Bonus if you like chomping on and smoking cigars. For something this weird, I actually hope she realizes her fantasy.
- Here’s a forties couple from Manassas/Woodbridge looking for a couple to basically date. Getting between the sheets is not their main objective.
- Men, if you are not into lady boys, you might want to make an exception for this 25-year-old tranny from Dunn Loring. Check out her picture and tell me what you think. Her only requirement is that you be under 30. Or maybe you would prefer a visiting black tranny with long black hair and wearing a spotted bra and a cool leather coat. Only I think she is charging. The Dunn Loring lady boy swears she is not.
- This is a bit strange. A 50+ guy is looking for a 50+ woman, principally because he needs a woman with him to get admitted into local nudist parties.
- He’s a 28-year-old tomcat, but at least he’s open enough about it. He wants to screw you every which way possible, all unprotected. Just don’t expect him to hang around and do boring things like love you, marry you and pay child support. I’d suggest that he hook up with this 24-year-old woman from Arlington, but she is looking for someone at least three years younger.
- For some reason I don’t understand, plenty of women are into seeing their man get off with another man. Do you have a husband, boyfriend or significant other you’d like to see get oral sex from another man while you watch? Here’s a guy that will oblige, but he’s strangely particular. The guy must be at least seven inches and under 35.
- Are you a man with an extensive collection of sex toys? This 31-year-old woman from Woodbridge is willing to let you try all of them on her, providing you are okay with her being a very, very large woman. You must host.
This is not a bad sampling for midweek. Another review will come next month, which is likely to be my last Craigslist critique, at least for here in Northern Virginia, as we’ll be moving. It is likely that there won’t be this level of kink and craziness where we are going.
It’s the first Friday of the month so that means it’s that time of the month … to plumb my local Craigslist Casual Encounters Section to see what bizarre and unusual postings are out there this cold night. Hopefully the embers of local Craigslist denizens are burning red hot tonight.
Some statistics for January come first. Google Analytics reports at least 261 pages of my Craigslist posts were served in January, quite a bit higher than in December, but traffic was up a bit in general last month. This amounted to about 14 percent of my overall web traffic. Meanwhile, looking at the first page of ads popping up tonight, I see the following posting demographics:
- 37 men looking for a woman
- 32 men looking for a man
- 3 men looking for a couple
- 4 men looking for a transgender
- 6 women looking for a man
- 5 women looking for a woman
- 4 couples looking for other couples
- 2 couples looking for a woman
- 6 couples looking for a man
- 4 transgender people (I must use the politically correct term) looking for a man
Let’s see how many eyebrows I can raise tonight. Not much fazes me anymore, so it’s more of a challenge to see if anything will raise my eyebrow.
- Couples, would it be a turn on to have a sex with guy in his mid 50s with a pock marked face and long flowing blondish hair that makes him look sort of girlish? Yes, this man is brave enough to post his picture though thankfully he has his clothes on. He says he’s bi and that his hair is shorter now. While he says he’s done this before he is really after the guy. He wants to orally please him to complete ecstasy. Oh, he smokes and is “physically challenged”. To me he looks like a creepy serial murderer.
- He’s 28 and from Alexandria and his birthday is Sunday. His Latina girlfriend will be his slave for the day as his birthday present. What he wants to do is tie her up naked on the bed and let men come over and jerk off all over her. Apparently this does not include penetration or any oral sex. You can see head and crotch shots of her at the link. The younger the better but you must be at least seven inches and in shape to take advantage of this opportunity.
- This 23-year-old guy is into female nerds, presumably the type that watch Third Rock from the Sun. He’s looking for freckles, braces and glasses and wants all three but will settle for less. Curiously one thing he is not explicitly looking for is sex. Now that’s kinky!
- This submissive bottom transgender’s ad is nothing special, but the little white ball hanging off the back of his/her panties certainly is odd. He’s 38 and lives in South Arlington and, of course, is looking for a man.
- Men don’t get to have all the kinky fun on Craigslist. Women can let their hair down too, as in this woman for multiple women ad proves. She’s a 30-year-old woman who is hosting a women only party tomorrow. You can be hetero, bi or a lesbian, it doesn’t matter, but you should come prepared to let your hair down. From the posted pictures also be prepared to let most of your clothes down as well. The fun starts at 8 p.m. and lasts until 1 a.m. If you are a woman in a hurry and are looking for just one woman tonight and are between 25-40, hit this size 18 up!
- She’s 32, lives in Vienna and looks great with soapy water running down her ass. She is also married but that doesn’t seem to be an issue if you want to be intimate with her, providing you are a dominant black man six foot or taller and 35+.
- Here’s a new way to get women’s attention: lure them with the promise of naked yoga. A few problems: he’s 40, married and new to yoga. Be prepared to dial 911 when he breaks a hamstring.
- If you are gay and into deciphering a very hard to understand post full of acronyms, partially spelled words and lots of odd punctuation, this 51-year-old old coot from Fort Hunt may be just what you need tonight. Clearly, he won’t be winning any spelling bees.
- If I were part of a couple into swinging with other couples and about twenty years younger, I’d definitely run, not walk, for the opportunity to hook up with the female half of this couple from Arlington. She’s Asian, has long flowing hair and breasts of someone half her age. In fact, I may need to go take a cold shower! If you can’t find the ad don’t worry as apparently it was posted twice.
- All right, 35-year-old guy from Sterling! Four ads about your desire to give a woman oral sex (and get yourself a FWB) are enough! Most likely you still won’t get any legitimate responses.
- Submissive ladies, why have one master when you can have two? Actually, it’s one master (49) and one mistress (29) and you can look forward to bondage, humiliation, pain and more humiliation. They are waiting for your worthless reply.
- I had no idea what “manscaping” was until I read this ad from a 44-year-old guy near Fair Oaks Mall. Apparently it involves razors and shaving cream and it’s something men do to other men. I’ll pass, thanks.
- Here’s something odd: a couple looking for a woman, but only to take photos of them nude.
- One of the kinks out there I will never get is urinating into someone’s mouth. Here’s a 28-year-old guy from Arlington (warning: explicit picture) looking for a guy to do this to him.
If the above looks pretty kinky or bizarre to you, you don’t hang out on Craigslist regularly. This is pretty pedestrian stuff. Let’s see if I find something weirder next month.
It’s a new year, but I doubt much has changed at my local Craigslist casual encounter section. Scanning the first page of today’s ads I count:
- 54 men looking for women
- 27 men looking for men
- 3 men looking for a couple
- 4 men looking for a transgender
- 1 woman looking for a man
- 2 women looking for a woman
- 2 couples looking for a woman
- 1 couple looking for another couple
- 1 transgender looking for man
I also count at least 216 web hits for my Craigslist posts in December, not great but traffic was slow in December, so this represents a bit over 13% of traffic, which is about normal. Women first today:
- She’s planning to visit us in late January and is looking for a couple to play with during the day at her hotel. She really wants to try a woman, which will be a first time for her. Her boyfriend is coming too but plans to be at meetings, but he may be available to watch. I would certainly find an excuse to get out of a meeting to watch these fireworks.
- There must be more gay men in the Dulles Technology Corridor than I thought. This one has evidence that he is largely endowed, or at least exceeds in the girth department. This 48-year-old man is particular: he only wants Asian men. Here’s a 47-year-old guy that is not as particular about ethnicity but wants college-aged men instead. My spidey senses think he may in fact be the previous poster. Finally, here’s a 44-year-old man who simply wants a mutual jack off. That at least is reasonably safe. Men, if you are going to indulge in one of these dubious adventures, I say go with the last guy.
- Guys, if you are into giving oral sex to a 31-year-old Asian woman, it’s best to get a room and act quickly. Unfortunately, that’s all you are going to get to do. She lives in Burke.
- There seems to be a New Year’s contest for the largest gangbang. This 28-year-old woman wants ten military guys and she promises that no orifice will be barred. This 32-year-old woman wants thirty men, and you don’t have to be military, but you do need to be college aged. No cost she says, but I have to think getting rid of chlamydia or worse won’t come free. This is certainly a memorable albeit profoundly stupid way to “break in” the New Year!
- She is looking for a she but she has a gatekeeper: he, i.e. her black boyfriend and of course he gets to watch and is the one you will actually be corresponding with. There are many intimate pictures of she, some primarily of interest to gynecologists.
- There are a lot of men into seeing other men screw their wives. Among these there seem to be men who are trying to talk their wives into doing this, but they seem reluctant or particular. Anyhow, this 40-year-old man from Alexandria is searching for a guy who will patiently seduce his wife, but it has to happen “organically”. He claims they have done this before. Don’t take the bait, guys. It’s unlikely to work and I suspect his real motive is to prove adultery, so he can dump her. And if you are as muscled as the guy he is looking for, you can find much quicker success at your local watering hole.
- At last: genuinely safe sex on Craigslist. Alas, it’s not you (a guy) that will be having sex, but this couple will with each other. You just get to watch them perform. They prefer 25 and younger. No mention of whether there is an entrance charge for this show.
- Attention Prince William County police: here’s a guy in Gainesville that wants to be caught by a cop while his girlfriend is giving him a blowjob in a public place. Instead of arresting them though you are supposed to drop your pants and get one from her to stay out of jail. You have to wonder what kind of girl would hang around with such a sick “boyfriend”. I hope the cops there have some integrity or aren’t paying attention to Craigslist. Not a cop? Not to worry. You can pretend to be a cop, but have to look the part.
- Here’s a 27-year-old guy willing to pay for the privilege of having carnal knowledge of an older woman. Here’s another man who wants to worship (be degraded by) a black woman. Here’s an older man looking for a sugar baby, but you must be young, thin, fit and submissive to earn your allowance. And here’s a generous older man who thinks it’s not sex if he has an orgasm all over your face.
- If you are a lesbian but also into 50 Shades of Grey, this 33-year-old dominant woman with a prominent sexual part below her waist is willing to take charge of you. I don’t get the Shades of Grey thing, as she should be way too young to have any grey.
- Here is one very desperate “kinky bareback crossdresser” looking for men at Sterling – Dulles – Ashburn. He seems to post one of these a day, and this is just a sample. I think I posted about him before because you can do almost anything to him but you must arrive freshly showered. Go figure.
More in February.