Archive for the ‘Sociology’ Category

The Thinker

The real solution to the child refugee crisis

Approximately 90,000 children so far have traveled alone across our southern border recently to find safety and sanctuary in the United States, with doubtless many more on the way. Just the very idea of doing something like these parents have done – sending their children away alone on their own on a long and dangerous trip to get into the United States — leaves us American parents reeling. How could any parent do this?

If you take the time though to read articles like this one, the only question is why these parents waited so long to do something so desperate. Countries like Honduras are impoverished but that’s hardly new. What’s new are the drug lords, the intense competition between them, and the lawlessness it has caused, which is much worse than anything the Taliban has inflicted. In much of Honduras there is no functioning government and those that function as government are in cahoots with the drug lords. In attempts to gain dominance among rival lords and cartels, children are being forcibly recruited. Failure to say yes could lead to death, rape or many other atrocities. When recruited you may be required not just to peddle drugs and extort people, but maybe kill them as well. Getting to the United States is of course highly dangerous, not to mention expensive to their parents, but it is a rational decision for these parents. It is not just the United States that is getting an influx of child refugees, but other Central American countries as well. These children are fleeing toward safety, not opportunity. They are simply refugees.

The drug trade in Central America is hardly new, but what is new in the increased drug trade in this corridor. This is largely due to success by the Drug Enforcement Administration in the Caribbean at bottling up more traditional ways of transferring illegal drugs via small aircraft and boat. This is not an option in autonomous and landlocked countries in Central America. You know what happens when supply goes down and demand remains the same. Prices go up, which makes it easier to accept risk. Right now that route is through Central America.

The crisis in Honduras has become our crisis on our southern border. It is happening largely due to our country’s addiction to illegal narcotics. When you need a fix, you don’t think about how the drug will get to you, just that you must get high. But money for your fix is being funneled through the fingers of the worst kind of scum, including beasts masquerading as human beings in Honduras who will kill and rape kids, and maybe hack them to death in the street.

It’s reasonable to ask why our country is addicted to these drugs. All countries have this problem to some extent, but our addiction is very high compared to the rest of the world. Some of it is due to the fact that we are relatively prosperous, so we can afford to get high. Of course many of our drug addicts are very poor, and these are typically the ones looking for cheap highs. Heroin seems to be their drug of choice right now.

I believe that much of our addiction to drugs is because so many of us live really painful lives. Our lives are quite stressful, not as stressful as those of children in Honduras obviously, but one constant stress after another. This was made worse of course by the Great Recession when so much of our safety net disappeared. We live in a society that doesn’t cut us much slack. We are expected to do it all. Many of us simply don’t have the skills, education and other talents it takes to fend off this much adversity, if it’s possible at all. The stress becomes oppressive and unrelenting. Aside from the many people who were unemployed from the Great Recession, other traumatic pains are making us reach for a high: feelings of worthlessness, abuse from our spouse, screaming kids and bad neighborhoods. And so we look for escape. Drugs along with other addictions like food, booze, cigarettes and dangerous sex provide a temporary escape from crushing pain. To really feel better many of us need a living wage job, a decent place to call home in a decent neighborhood, and a little TLC from society at large. These are in short supply, in part because our collective wealth has moved toward the wealthy, who don’t feel inclined to spend it on charitable causes like us.

While many Republicans continue to tell us that we must somehow all by ourselves through grit and gumption solve our personal problems, this child refugee crisis proves just the opposite: that we are all related. Worse, because the actions of one affect others, it goes both ways. Our relationships can channel hurt or healing. When our inner pain causes us to visit illicit pushers to get a high, the chain of our pain extends down to the lives of terrorized children and their parents in Honduras, among other places. The relationship is not something symbolic. It is quite tangible. It is the dollar bill.

This refugee crisis is thus best understood as a crisis of failed relationships on many levels. On the national level, it demonstrates our political failure to do the pragmatic thing, which is to legalize drugs. This will not remove the pain of our drug addiction, but it will make addicts get cheaper and probably safer highs. It will squeeze the profit motive out of the drug trade, probably ending it overnight. It’s reasonable to assume that if drugs were decriminalized and regulated within the United States there wouldn’t be a flood of children from Honduras desperately trying to get across our border. And that’s because there would be no drug trade in Honduras, at least not one that would funnel high profit margin drugs into the United States.

I believe decriminalization and hopefully the legalization of these narcotics is the permanent way to end this refugee crisis, not to mention the pointless drug war. Our drug war has always been one where we simply refuse to face the reality of our human nature. As states like Washington State are discovering, legalizing marijuana can be a substantial revenue source, and that money can be used to do lots of good things: like build roads, bridges and schools. That sure beats making miserable the lives of traumatized children in Central America!

Our other option is to send in our army to occupy Honduras. This is at best a temporary solution but it should at least dramatically slow this refugee crisis. It’s the underlying problem that needs to be fixed. Drug decriminalization won’t stop everyone from trying to get across our borders, but it will act as a fire extinguisher and solve the root of this problem.

I wish President Obama had the nerve to tell us Americans the truth and advocated for drug decriminalization and legalization. I am confident that he understands this too but is unnerved by the political incorrectness to say so. If he wanted to be remembered as a true leader, this would be the time to tell us the truth.

 
The Thinker

Unitarian Universalists moved the needle on gay marriage

Marriages between gays or lesbians seem to be a fading issue in this country. In certain parts of the country, particularly in Southern states, the issue is still radioactive. Overall it is succumbing to a number of forces, probably the most important of which is simply demographics. The people that care the most about it are dying, and those who are comfortable with it tend to be younger.

Still, it is remarkable how quickly the tables have turned. Just a few years ago I was hearing from friends who were against gay marriage that only unelected judges were allowing gay marriage, not the people. “In every state where voters have had a say, it’s been turned down.” That’s no longer true, as Maine voters approved gay marriage by referendum in 2012. We have legislators paid to make these decisions. Vermont, of course, was the first to have civil unions and was the first to legalize gay marriage in 2009, over the veto of Governor Douglas. Legislators in New Hampshire and the District of Columbia followed Vermont’s lead in 2009. In 2011, New York State joined the club. In 2012 it was Washington State. In 2013, the floodgates opened. Legislators approved gay marriage in Maryland, Rhode Island, Delaware, Minnesota, Hawaii and Illinois.

Gay marriage is now legal in 17 states, and it is being disputed in court in states you would not expect, like Tennessee, Utah and Indiana. These rulings were prompted by last year’s Supreme Court decision in Windsor v. United States, which struck down Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act. The ruling made lawful gay marriages legal for federal purposes. And because of the Supremacy Clause in the U.S. constitution, many federal judges are invalidating state marriage laws against gay marriage. The Supreme Court will likely get to rule on the issue again, which last year was narrowly tailored. While our Supreme Court tends to be conservative, it has a libertarian streak. It is likely that within a few years that laws or state constitutional amendments outlawing gay marriage in the United States will become null and void, like sodomy laws.

This kind of rapid change is pretty breathtaking, even for me. In 2006, I disparaged my state of Virginia. In 2005, Virginia voters approved a constitutional amendment outlawing gay marriage in the state. That seemed to cement prejudice into law for decades. I wrote:

Yet the time of their repeal will come eventually. It may take 50 years. It may take a hundred years. Yet it will happen in time, yes even here in Virginia. Just as we once hung our heads in shame for tolerating evils like slavery, just as we flagrantly hung on to white and black only schools as recently as 1964, the time will come when we will look back on these sad modern times wholly aghast that we could have ever been so shallow, intolerant and mean spirited.

So how is Virginia doing with the whole gay marriage thing in 2014? Due to the Supreme Court’s decision, our Democratic Attorney General refuses to enforce that part of our state constitution, but that’s kind of moot at the moment. That’s because in February, our federal district court in Bostic v. Rainey invalidated our state’s constitutional amendment. The judged stayed the ruling on appeal. The case went to the Fourth Circuit Court, which heard oral arguments on May 13. It’s likely the ruling will be upheld. Since our Attorney General won’t appeal the ruling if it is upheld, gay marriage will likely be legal in Virginia sometime this year. In short, it looks like it will have taken eight years, not 50. Meanwhile, the polling here in Virginia has totally switched in eight years. According to a Quinnipiac poll released March 31, fifty percent of Virginia voters favor gay marriage, with 42 percent opposed.

While some of this is due to demographic forces, it’s also due in part to a lot of people being very noisy on the issue. Most Americans get it. They may find gay marriage morally repugnant, but they can’t get over the fairness argument. It’s simply not fair to extend to one class of citizen privileges not afforded to another, and it sure appears to be a violation of both the Fifth and Fourteenth Amendments to do so. Increasingly most of those disgusted by gay marriage are simply willing to hold their nose rather than fight it. There’s also the general sense that fighting it is futile.

How did this happen so fast? It happened because of a convergence of various forces as well as demographics. I am proud to say that my denomination, Unitarian Universalism, was the point of the spear on this issue, at least as a social movement. Back in 2009, I wrote about our national convention that I attended in conservative Utah. We took over the convention center in Salt Lake City and had an eight story banner “Standing on the Side of Love” going down the side of the convention center. It was bold, breathtaking and in 2009 felt pretty futile, particularly since we had converged on the bright red state of Utah.

The banner since then has been everywhere. It is hard to find pictures of any march anywhere for gay marriage without seeing the banner. In demonstrations and marches, the banner is prominent, with mostly Unitarian Universalists (UUs) carrying the banner. It’s not a hard message to grasp: UUs take the side of love, not hate. The banner is still in use, and its use is not just to help gays and lesbians acquire marital rights. It is also being used for the many of us UUs that support immigrant rights, and other endeavors that require love and compassion as a solution. Of course, the movement is more than a banner, it’s people, and our current president as well as past president has been leading our denomination on the issue.

I wish I could point to other great successes like this among UUs. There have been many prominent UUs throughout the years (including Florence Nightingale and Charles Darwin) and more than a few presidents, but as leaders of social change we have often been laggards. (I am thinking about racial tolerance and sexism in particular.) That has changed. UUs have proven instrumental at moving the needle on this fundamental issue of civil rights and fairness. UUs everywhere, but the Standing on the Side of Love team in particular, have certainly earned my gratitude. I’ve never been prouder to be a UU.

I hope we can keep this streak going and keep moving our country toward acting as if love and compassion is the core of who we are as a nation. We are now trying to move the needle on the child refugee crisis on our southern border, among other issues. I hope that you will join us.

 
The Thinker

Craigslist casual encounters weirdness: July 2014 edition

Those wondering if I would stop these monthly reviews of Craigslist’s casual encounters area now have an answer: no, at least not quite yet. I count at least 311 page requests for my Craigslist content in the last thirty days, which is more than ten percent of my overall page views, so it’s reason to keep at this. Moreover, 31 of those were for June’s post and 18 were for May’s. These posts also write themselves; so I don’t have to think too much, just scan the ads for more lurid titles and flag the ones that look particularly unusual. For statistics purposes I see in the first page of listings:

  • 44 men looking for men
  • 38 men looking for women
  • 5 men looking for couples
  • 5 men looking for transvestites/transgender
  • 5 women looking for men
  • 5 women looking for women
  • 3 couples looking for women

While this content is clearly not high art, it does appeal to those of us with prurient or just bizarre tastes and I have some. So here we go with an Independence Day weekend review of the Northern Virginia edition of Craigslist Casual Encounters:

  • There seems to be an oversupply of wimpy husbands these days. Women want a man to take charge. Here’s a 27-year-old woman who rather than seek some marriage counseling wants you (a guy) to come on over and show both of them who’s boss, i.e. screw her while he watches, except he doesn’t seem to want to have anything to do with this. I don’t care how horny you are, you can feel the bad karma. Just how many times do you want to reincarnate and go through these pathetic scenarios anyhow?
  • Most women on their period simply take out the Kotex. Some women though see mensuration is an opportunity for kinky sex. If the idea of mensuration plus cunnilingus appeals to you, check this 48-year-old woman out. Perhaps this would appeal to you if you like your steaks cooked rare.
  • Here’s a woman, age unknown that wants a date. She is looking for romance. Clearly she has no idea of what Craigslist Casual Encounters is about. Doubtless from her inbox stuffed with crass one-liners and penis pictures, she does now. She apparently is a firefighter, but I don’t think she is trained to put out these kinds of fires. Maybe she should hook up with this firefighter who may be sleeping in the next bunk.
  • Ms. Right Now wants her orifices filled up right now and you can see some of them in her X-rated picture. It has to be tonight and it has to be in Titusville, yes Titusville, Florida, not Northern Virginia, which is 841 miles away and 12 hours and 11 minutes away by car according to Google Maps. Good lucks guys. May the fastest hot rod win.
  • There are actually some successful casual encounters on Craigslist. This 27-year-old woman from Alexandria fondly remembers those with a man named Michael S. Apparently they were well acquainted with every NoTel Motel between Alexandria and Fredericksburg. She’s actually hoping he hasn’t reformed because she wants one more close encounter of the kinky kind.
  • She is probably a guy but anyhow he’s looking to sell his girlfriend’s panties while she is out of town. He promises that you can at least see a picture of whose intimates you will be sniffing. I’m gathering he ran out of drug money and I am hoping she is running away from this loser for good.
  • Another bi-curious 21-year-old blonde looking for a woman, but whose picture will break men’s hearts. She wants to be shown the ropes, but curiously doesn’t indicate any curiosity about bondage.
  • I’m trying to figure out why a guy would buy a Sybian. Moreover, from the title of the ad he’s only 20 years old. If you actually read the ad you will learn that he’s actually in his early 30s. In any event, it looks cheap and no matter how good the vibrations, this doesn’t look worth $1,345.
  • She’s a very generous 26-year-old wife: she wants to give her husband the pleasure of a threesome. You must be a woman under 35.
  • The whole adult nursing relationship thing is new to me, and I’m pretty sure I was weaned too early. Here’s a 32-year-old man from Fairfax Station who must have skipped the experience altogether and wants to make up for lost time. Apparently all the woman has to do is take her top off. It’s not sex I guess if it’s only breast play.
  • I’m not sure but I think he’s an aspiring actor for The Bing Bang Theory. Anyhow he’s 26, geeky as all get out, with big dorky glasses and he wants his first anal experience, presumably with a woman.
  • He’s a 21-year-old “straight” looking for oral sex from a guy, but only with a condom on but to hedge his bets you must also be clean. This “straight” guy needs to watch Kinsey because he ain’t.
  • Ugh. This nearby 60-year-old gay man is looking to perform oral sex with Latino guys only. It’s not their ethnicity that bothers me, but that he also wants to be urinated all over. Oral sex I understand, but I just don’t get the whole urination as kink thing. Uncircumcised is preferred.
  • Can 35-year-old men be “boys”? I guess they can in the crazy world of Craigslist. This submissive “boy”, who is actually 40, is still looking for his daddy. I hope he isn’t bothered if his older man has erectile dysfunction too, because that’s likely to be the case.
  • Bi-curious goes both ways. A local 48-year-old married man is looking for a guy for oral sex. He won’t host naturally and car play is not his thing. I’m hoping he doesn’t have regular sex with his wife.

More next month.

 
The Thinker

Give ‘em heaven, Kate

Religions are supposed to be about love and finding God. Sadly too many of them, if not most of them, are far more concerned about getting their believers to march in lockstep with them than embracing them in loving ways. The latest somber case in point is the excommunication of Kate Kelly, who believes that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (i.e. the Mormons) should ordain women and allow them to direct the church.

Naturally it was an all-male panel of senior bishops that decided on her excommunication. At least they were clear about her real sin: she was promoting her beliefs, which were okay as long as she didn’t actually express them. In his excommunications letter to Kelly, Bishop Mark Harrison wrote: “You are entitled to your views, but you are not entitled to promote them and proselyte others to them while remaining in full fellowship in the church.” These merciful clerics though did open the possibility that she could rejoin the church, providing she repents long enough and consistently tows the line. In other words: shut up already, keep shutting up and keep telling people you were wrong.

Dogmatic religions tend to excommunicate people all the time. Pope Francis recently excommunicated the Italian Mafia. Thus it’s not particularly surprising that Kate Kelly also suffered this fate. Still, to those of us outside this faith, this decision sure smells. What crazy reasoning justifies this belief? Well, Jesus only chose male apostles, hence there must be something unworthy about having women as clerics because men, well, must know better! How condescending this is, particularly given the poor record of male clerics within institutions like the Catholic Church. If I were a Catholic, I would sure want my kid to have a female priest. I might feel safe leaving him or her alone with the priest in the sanctuary.

Kate Kelly is guilty of a number of “sins”. These include understanding the logical fallacy of this argument, understanding that no God worth worshipping would require such a silly restriction, understanding that women are equal in all ways with men and inferior in no ways, understanding that we are all equal in the eyes of God, and understanding that the Mormon Church, like all churches, is an institution made up of flawed human beings and thus can only aspire to be holy, but is not actually holy or flawless. A church is a human institution that aspires to bring people closer to God. Given its imperfect nature, it must from time to time review how it’s doing and see if it fits the current reality.

The reality of the 19th century when Mormonism was founded was that women did not have the right to vote or much else in the way of rights so it’s not surprising Mormon dogma echoed these beliefs. It found what it thought was a foundation from the Bible. These facts were also true when Jesus walked the planet. It was true in Abraham’s time when he had multiple wives and when losing your virginity before marriage would require that you be stoned to death. In two millenniums, we have come to understand that women are equal partners. Thus they have the inherent same rights as men to everything. Kate Kelly is guilty of knocking on the Mormon Church’s door and reminding them of this obvious fact. In short, Mormonism needs a little revising because it isn’t optimally serving the needs of its members, and some of its teachings are undercutting its essential message.

I wish Kate Kelly lived nearby so I could give her a hug. She could use a lot of hugs. I wish I could also get her to see that she is better off without Mormonism as it is currently practiced. Mormonism really needs a dose of Protestantism. It’s largely as cloistered and insular as the Catholic Church was prior to the Reformation. During the Reformation, of course, the dichotomy between the church’s teachings, its actual practices and the needs of its parishioners became too large to tolerate anymore. Protestants discovered that they had power greater than the Catholic Church. When enough people stand up and demand changes, new denominations emerge when existing religions won’t adapt. If enough Mormons stand up with Kate Kelly, and more importantly boycott the faith until its leaders see the light, the Mormon Church will see the error of its ways as well.

Yell like hell, Kate, but do in a loving way that shows your better nature and the truth of your position. Yell outside the gates of the Mormon Temple in Salt Lake City. Yell outside their conclaves. Reach out to every liberal Mormon you can find, and there are plenty of them. Have the nerve to worship separately and call yourself with a new name, perhaps the Reformed Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Show that you offer a better way. Network. Like Harvey Milk, it will be lonely for a while, but if your cause is just and your work sincere, you will in time triumph. And if the Mormon Church insists on totally denying reality, let it shrivel. It’s better off dead than to be so fundamentally wrong.

I believe that when enough people simply vote with their feet and leave the church that they will see the light. And you, the excommunicated, will be revealed as a woman who had the courage to put the church on a path that actually makes it more inclusive and a better institution.

Yell like hell, but realize that you are actually giving them heaven, and bringing them closer to God.

 
The Thinker

The path to genuine enlightenment

Religious violence is hardly news. Religious violence, such as what is currently going on between Shi’ites and Sunnis in Iraq, should drive millions of people to atheism. No God worth worshipping could possibly approve of any violence in its name, let alone require us humans to use force and murder as a means of spreading the faith.

Religions though really aren’t so much about God as they are about people. Supposedly the purpose of religion is to draw us closer to God. What’s its real purpose? As best I can tell, its real purpose is the largely futile attempt to calm our restless and flawed human souls, something it does imperfectly at best. Sometimes it does succeed in bring some of us to a higher spiritual or moral plain, but overall its track record is pretty poor and its lessons don’t tend to stick permanently. If I had to pick a number, I’d say it works perhaps ten percent of the time, at least in inculcating permanent behavioral changes for the better. What typically happens is we may get better for a while, but then we revert to doing what we do best: being flawed human beings.

It’s worse than that because we all have certain imperfections and angsts, which means that we will be drawn toward religions that accentuate these issues within us. What a lot of us really crave is absolute certainty in an uncertain world, and most religions offer that. You just have to find the religion that most closely aligns with your imperfections and predispositions. But mostly, as I first pointed out a long time ago, we tend to be drawn to the religions we were born into, if any. If we are going to stay with a religion, it will be with one that has the comfort of familiarity and the sanction of our parents.

If you live in Iraq, it’s almost certain that you are a Muslim, but alas what kind of Muslim is what is far more important. Both Shi’ite and Sunni believe there is only one God: Allah. Great, you would think that would make religious life pretty simple. But instead they are arguing, and have been arguing and killing each other for more than a millennium and about something that really doesn’t matter. This is: when Mohammad died, did he intend for the religion to be dynastic (what the Shi’ites believe) or not (what the Sunnis believe). ISIS (The Islamic State in Iraq and Syria) is busy killing Shi’ites in areas it has conquered, but really anyone, including Sunnis, that don’t or won’t tow the line on their extreme and puritanical version of Islam.

I’d accuse them of channeling George W. “You are either with us, or against us” Bush except of course both sects have been doing this far longer than our last president has been alive. It’s a cycle of violence that shows no sign of ever being extinguished. Neither side will ultimately prevail. As best I can tell, the only way to really kill this cycle of violence is for everyone Muslim to simply abandon the faith. That doesn’t seem likely.

Of course it’s not just the Muslims that can’t get along with each other. Protestants and Catholics have been murdering each other for centuries. Even before Protestantism emerged, Christianity was rife with religious persecution. My particular religion is Unitarian Universalism. Early in Christian history, the Trinitarians ruthlessly persecuted the Unitarians. The Unitarians (very sensibly I believe) concluded that the notion of God in three parts (Father, Son and Holy Spirit) made no sense whatsoever, so they were killed or persecuted for their heresy. They eventually sought refuge in what is now Romania and Hungary. Within Protestantism, various denominations persecuted minority denominations. The Pilgrims that helped form the United States was but one of them.

The general problem is that humans don’t deal well with people that don’t conform to their beliefs. Of course it’s not just religious beliefs, but all sorts of arguably weird stuff like whether gays should get married or the limits of government that foment our intolerance. It seems we are born to factionalize, and leaders of our factions assume leadership because they have learned the art of persuading followers that their beliefs are the only correct ones.

Given all of this, why wouldn’t you want to be an atheist? Why wouldn’t an atheist go out and evangelize? Curiously, die-hard atheists imitate the tactics of die-hard theists. Mostly what you hear is, “God is total bunk, a fairy tale, just Santa Claus for adults” and they will argue endlessly why this is so with their scorn clear in their voices. They tend to lampoon the religious as intellectually flawed sheep.

Atheism has always struck me as just proselytizing of a different sort. What is the track record of atheism? Does it make for a better world? While the jury is out, we do have the example of the Soviet Union, which was basically an atheist state, not to mention communist China. Its leaders did a wretched job of managing the country or even making socialism work. So I am skeptical that if we were all atheists and that they were in charge that we would end religious violence. For atheism has all the hallmarks of a religion, including its dogmatic certainty, just without God at its center. I am convinced that if we were all atheists, we would find reasons to beat the heads of other atheists. We haven’t seen much of this yet probably because they have not evolved into a large enough force. I can see splits between dogma-driven atheists, who might forbid the teaching of religion, from humanistic atheists.

So the larger problem is not religion per se, but the dogmatic nature of our species in general. We find comfort in being with people like us, be it culturally, racially or spiritually, but it seems best to us when it is all of the above. And all this is because to make sense of our world we have to discern clear patterns, even where they don’t exist clearly and even where the differences really don’t mean anything. We actually worship the necessity of patterns that we can slavishly follow, not God. I contend that the crux of the differences between Sunni and Shi’ite are trivial. And yet century after century they keep killing each other because of their need for certainty and comfort. They seem ill equipped to expand their thoughts to the larger notion that we are all brothers.

So, to channel Bill Maher, I propose a New Rule: put kindness toward all ahead of your religious faith or lack thereof. Realize that our various faiths and beliefs, while often helpful and insightful to those who practice those faiths and beliefs, are not the most important aspect of their lives or of our lives. Our most critical virtues need to be kindness, openness and an understanding that we really all are one.

It’s hard to practice and obviously I am not a saint in this matter. It’s hard for even me to see that the divide between Democrats and Republicans is not as wide as I think. However, if I can practice open listening and tolerance, I am likely to be heard and acknowledged by the other side. And open hearts should open doors of communications and facilitate enlightenment in general. So I too must practice looking and emphasizing for those things that I have in common with people unlike me. I need to practice dialog with people like this, dialog that is respectful and healing.

This, I think, is the path to real enlightenment.

 
The Thinker

Putting yourself in a woman’s shoes

Okay, not literally. I vaguely member trying on my mother’s pointy shoes when I was a lad and that definitely felt weird. I have learned a lot about women since then, mostly by listening to them. I now know that I was lucky to be born male. Recent news reports show some of the violence against women, including the planned execution of Meriam Yehya Ibrahim, a Sudanese woman sentenced to death after refusing to renounce her Christian faith. Just murdering her is not enough though; she first is to endure a hundred lashes for the “adultery” of marrying a Christian man. In Sudan, only marriages between Muslims are considered legitimate, hence “marriage” to a Christian man must be adultery. (If this outrages you, take action here.)

Maybe you are thinking, she’s a weird exception. Just like that woman in Pakistan who was recently stoned to death by her own family is a weird exception, although it happens all the time in less public spaces in Pakistan. Except violence and discrimination against women is widespread. I recently wrote about pay disparities between women and men, which rarely results in lawsuits simply because it is so hard to prove. The gap in the United States is 23%, in that women earn on average 77% of what men make. Think about the lost earning power that represents over a lifetime. It’s no wonder that more women are in poverty than men.

Blacks know what it is like to be guilty of being black. Women are guilty of being women. Even if they are not particularly attractive, it’s not like they get a free pass from the likelihood of sexual assault. Sexual violence statistics against women are frightening. One in 6 women have been raped or have been sexually assaulted. A majority of women say they have been harassed or have been worried about violence because of their gender.

Think about what it’s like to spend your life with these realities. As a guy, when I go outside I don’t give any thought to any kind of assault, least of all rape, unless I am in a really bad neighborhood. (It doesn’t hurt to be 6’2”.) Unless I end up in prison, there is virtually a zero chance that I will be raped. Nationwide, three percent of men have been raped, and my guess is almost all of these happen in prison. For a woman, pretty much any strange man is a potential rapist. So they keep their purse clutched close to their chests. They try to travel in groups and avoid running alone or in the dark. Danger could lurk pretty much anywhere. It never stops.

Having relationships with men is dangerous. You never know what some guy you are dating may do to you. Will you be date raped? Will you be stalked? Will he turn out to be emotionally, mentally or physically abusive? What if you spurn his requests for sex? Typically the man is taller and stronger, so overpowering a woman is not too hard. You have to hope that men you date are civilized, and can remain civilized under stress. It’s a tall order, given these sexual assault statistics.

Then there are all these people treating you like a second-class citizen. Not only are you likely to be paid less, you are considered impulsive and unreasonable. If you are emotional by nature, it’s attributed to being that time of the month. Many politicians want you to get pregnant by making it hard to get birth control. They will bend laws to make sure you can’t terminate an unwanted pregnancy. They want you to bear children of men who raped you. They will even write condescending laws that require doctors to tell you lies about abortion or make you wait for days before having an abortion, assuming you can get one at all in your state. They will even write laws requiring that you to be penetrated against your will by an ultrasound wand before having an abortion. All of this is because you are a woman, and not to be trusted. You are a second-class citizen.

Not only are you paid less; you have more expenses than men. Before Obamacare, you paid more in health insurance because you have breasts and a uterus. Your clothes cost more. You need a wide variety to escape scorn. Try to find a decent bra for under $30. Okay, it’s not a problem if you are a guy, unless you are a cross-dresser. Need your hair cut? You will likely pay twice what a man pays. Men just put on the same kind of pants and shirt, and maybe change their tie. Women bear all these additional expenses while making less money.

More often than not, you are not seen as a person, but as an object. If you like to have sex casually, you are not a woman who happens to have a strong sex drive, you are a slut or words much worse. This doesn’t happen to guys. They get slaps on the back instead.

If you decide to run for public office, you will face higher standards than men. Just how good a mother were you anyhow? Did all your kids avoid drugs and get straight A’s? If not, don’t think about running for anything. Hillary Clinton knows what it’s like. People will watch your hairstyles and clothes and critique them ruthlessly. They will question your choice of spouse. They will count the number of times you go to church. If you are a male running for office, these simply are not concerns. No one thinks to ask such questions.

If you decide to take time off to be a mother, when you go back to work you are at the bottom of the promotion chain again, and at an entry-level salary. You will earn less social security because your wages were lower and your time in the workforce less.

In the workplace you are likely to suffer sexual discrimination, but also likely be doing work that is more menial and less engaging. Next time you visit your doctor’s office, look around. Look for a man on the clerical staff. You probably won’t find one. My wife worked in a doctor’s office for years. It’s a topic for another blog post, but suffice to say these women work like dogs, are vastly underpaid, and are treated very badly. The turnover in these offices is huge and the work is grinding and relentless. All their discounted hard work simply goes to feed the doctors’ bottom lines.

So, yes, I was lucky to be born male. So much of that humiliating and toxic crap is simply not part of my experience. Sadly, women have a long way to go to become full partners and truly equal before the law and within society. What’s holding them back is mostly us men. We have to evolve. Will we ever? Will you?

 
The Thinker

Craigslist casual encounter weirdness: June 2014 edition

I note at least 241 page views for my Craigslist casual encounters posts last month, down a little, but still a significant source of my site’s traffic. As I have been doing this for about a year now, I’ve come to realize that because on Craigslist the weird is ordinary, at some point these reviews must lose their shock value, kind of like pornography. So those of you who prefer I ditch this stuff and provide my more civilized content instead, well, I may indulge you soon. I find that scanning this stuff in the hopes of getting more traffic is increasingly less interesting, probably because I am doing it more frequently. Meanwhile, what’s up on this Wednesday night in the weird world of Craigslist Casual Encounters, Washington D.C. edition? Warning: following links may take you to photos with sexually explicit content.

Quick counts on the first page of listings: 39 men looking for women, 44 men looking for men, 3 men looking for a couple, 1 man looking for multiple women, 1 man looking for multiple men, and 4 men looking for transvestites/transgender women. Among the alleged women posting, 9 women are looking for men, and no women are looking for anyone else. No couples looking tonight either. I guess they are too busy giving the kids baths and checking their homework. 3 transvestites/transgenders are looking for men.

  • Among the latter is a “Magnum XL Girl” with ten inches between her legs. “She” is only 23, or so she says, she’s in a fishnet but I’m not sure how great a catch she is as this is one experience I definitely don’t plan to have, but if I were to judge transvestites on appearance alone, she’d be an 8. She says she has a real ten incher “Magnum”, but I’m guessing it’s closer to eight inches. She may be black and Dominican, but she doesn’t come free. “Nasty gifts are required.” The STDs you may pick up come at no extra charge. Since ads with phone numbers are usually flagged, she posts her phone number in a photo instead. Dial 202-631-8966 if you like playing her game of Russian roulette.
  • Among the men looking for men is a true submissive who is open to anything, quite literally. Pick your orifice but you don’t have to limit them to just one. He’s a 20-year-old trim college boy that looks more boy than man and in tight blue briefs. He’s amenable to being tied down (and his picture proves it) and — this is weird — you can cover his whole body in lube. In that case, you had better bring an extra tube of lube and a rubber sheet, but be careful: he might slip away on you.
  • Need to get pregnant? Here’s a 23-year-old man who says, “i don’t care” if you are looking to get pregnant, or if you are married. In other words, he’s so highly strung on testosterone that he is the human equivalent of a tomcat in heat and he is anxious to make a deposit providing it is made deep in a woman’s traditional spot. In a way it’s good that he is posting on Craigslist, because he won’t get any responses, and if he were capable of thinking about this for half a second, he’d realize what a jackass of an idea this is. He posts his phone number but only accepts texts.
  • Looks like it’s my big opportunity to have carnal knowledge of a woman my daughter’s age, actually a couple of years younger than her, which sounds more than a little creepy. “I’m a female, 22, hwp. I really want to get with an older guy (in his 40′s, 50′s). Respond with a pic!” For a while there was a “Shades of Grey” thing going on among Craigslist women. No mention of that here, or of any craving to be a submissive or a masochist. She’d have to look hard to find my grey. Anyhow, it looks like I already have a ring on my finger, so no thanks! Also, I’d prefer not to have my picture posted across the Internet. What really motivates this woman? Most likely she is looking for a monetary reward and/or some blackmail. Expect a recurring donation on your Mastercard.
  • A 25-year-old Silver Spring, Maryland woman wants to know if I have a craving for chocolate. Yes, please, dark chocolate, preferably those addictive dark chocolate peanuts from Wegmans! Oh wait, she means do I have a craving for very obese black women. Umm, not in particular. But it was courteous of you to ask, I guess.
  • Now this is definitely weird, even for Craigslist! A 24-year-old Germantown woman wants guys to do a drive by jerk off into a condom. She just wants to watch and maybe direct you. It doesn’t appear that she wants to touch you. But when you are done and have reached your ecstasy, you need to give her your filled up condom. Maybe she should hook up with that third poster. I really think she just wants to get pregnant but doesn’t want intercourse, so perhaps she’s a lesbian with a maternal instinct. The saddest part of this ad is that there are so many horny men in the area that if she is serious she’ll get plenty of offers. My bet: “she” is actually a he, probably a cross-dressing he.
  • A black woman from Prince Georges County in Maryland is looking for a stud woman. How is this possible? She looks cute enough from her selfie. She also has a strap-on that she wants to use, and is very freaky but also is looking for a friend. So if you are a freaky and friendly lesbian or bi woman not over size 12, hit her up.
  • I knew it would be amusing to scan ads of men looking for multiple men. So many lurid titles to choose from! My favorite is this 50-year-old man from Ashburn, Virginia who posted an ad with the ever so genteel title: “Cum fuck this crossdressing bareback bottom slut and whore”. Read the ad if you want more of the same language. He likes to cross-dress but that’s not a deal killer, he just wants lots of men, or more specifically what’s between their legs, particularly after orgasm. While he says he is a tramp whore, he still has at least one standard: you got to be freshly showered, dudes!
  • Okay, just one more of these otherwise I am likely to go blind. Here’s a 29-year-old woman in D.C. into business travelers. She is attracted to single men under 40 who are tall and attractive. She however is a “curvy/BBW real woman”. I suspect any traveling businessman will prefer to hit up the hotel bar instead.

The woman looking for filled up condoms wins my creepy post of the month. More maybe next month.

 
The Thinker

Rampages and beatifying the beautiful

Another disgusting rampage. Another white male (well, actually half white, half Asian, but obsessed enough with looking white to the point of dyeing his hair) decides he has been persecuted enough and goes on a murder spree. Of course I am talking about 22-year-old Elliott Rodger, who killed six people and injured thirteen others in a rampage on May 23, 2014 and then did what these cowardly murderers usually do: take his own life with a handgun. For a young man who railed against pretty women who he believes unfairly gave him the cold shoulder, four of his murders were against men, three of who were apparent roommates. The women were likely complete strangers, but were coeds at the local University of Santa Barbara he attended and likely reflected the archetype he expounded upon in his rantings and final video, of course uploaded to YouTube.

A few details of this incident did not fit the rampage stereotype. Three of the murders, of his roommates, were apparently carried out with knives and may have included a machete and hammer. I’m not sure what his beef with them was. Perhaps they were white and/or jocks. The others, of course, were shot expeditiously with our ubiquitous symbol of power for the powerless: a gun, specifically a Glock 34 pistol, acquired quite legally in California by a man with well established mental illnesses. Isla Vista police had earlier checked up on him, after his parents reported his disturbing videos on YouTube. Police found a mouse of a man and gave him no further thought.

Rodger says he did all this simply because he wanted to get laid and kept getting spurned from even getting a date. Of course it was more than this. Getting laid is not hard, even for a virgin. Anyone who can afford $5000 in guns can afford a street prostitute, or even an expensive blonde-haired escort like he lusted after. What Rodger really wanted was to be validated in the warped way that he thought he should be validated. He had to lay the right kind of stereotype. In his mind she had to be white, she had to be blonde, she had to find him attractive and apparently she had to be submissive and show respect by swooning over the fact that he was a man.

It’s the latter issue that is the primary subject of today’s essay. Rodger apparently saw himself as flawed. First, he was half Asian and to fit the archetype he believed blondes were looking for, he had to be all white. He thought that by dyeing his hair white he could join the white guys’ club, but it just made him look unnatural. This contributed to his rage. There were doubtless other things. Perhaps penis envy was also part of his perceived imperfections. Whatever, his doubtlessly clumsy attempts to win female attention did not work. He likely projected an aura of a messed up person, which is not hard if you are mentally ill. This is likely why women were spurning him, but it sounds like he set his bar unacceptably high anyhow. Chances are if he had actually laid one of these beautiful blonde goddesses, he would have been brought down to earth. Any subsequent relationship, if he could see past the confusion of his own mental illness, would reveal just another human being with flaws and foibles, just like him.

In some ways, Rodger was waiting for Godot. As we all know if you wait for Godot, it’s going to be a very long wait. No wonder his expectations were unfulfilled and his virginity remained intact. He was seeing women as he wanted them to be, not as they are. Women had become objects, not real people. He could only imagine validation through a woman so flawed that she had to be a stereotype. Naturally, his unsuccessful attempts piled onto themselves and turned into the perceived feeling that all women were against him because he himself was not the perfect male archetype he was convinced that they demanded. This anger fed his rage. Guns made it easy to kill half of his victims, but those living with him were in his intimate space, and on them he could unleash a more personal rage by killing them with knives and possibly a hammer. It is likely that his female victims would have suffered a similar fate if he could have gotten close enough to them, but of course he perceived them as spurning him, so he had to kill them remotely, hence the gun.

Rodger had been diagnosed with schizophrenia, and had been seeing shrinks since he was eight years old. You would think this mental illness alone would make someone unqualified to own a gun, but of course you would be wrong. “Joe the Plumber” (a.k.a. Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher) got some attention recently by asserting that if his gun rights cause people to be unnecessarily murdered, that’s just too bad, the former being much more important than some goddam human lives. While I don’t agree with his thesis, I do reluctantly agree with his conclusion. If the Sandy Hook murders weren’t enough to restrict access to firearms, even if just to the mentally ill schizophrenic like Rodger, then he is clearly right. Mentally ill schizophrenics cause almost all these rampages, and they are generally also young men about Rodger’s age. Simply taking away gun rights from them would save the lives of many people every year. It’s obviously not something politicians are willing to do, since few are anxious to take on the crazily obsessed NRA.

Rodger’s larger issue though was a fundamental misunderstanding of who women actually are. It’s not hard to see how he picked this up, as our culture glorifies the beautiful and Hollywood prefers white actors. Hollywood is in the business of selling entertainment, and selling movies with actors who look like average Joes or Janes is generally not very marketable. We beatify the beautiful. With the beautiful and the talented grabbing most of our screen time, it’s not surprising that Rodger picked up this value and assumed he was unfairly and permanently discriminated against.

How to see past the cultural and Hollywood smokescreen? Part of the solution is to tune this stuff out, obviously not an easy thing to do in our increasingly interconnected world, as attested by the volume of Netflix downloads constantly streaming across the Internet. It might help if we could substitute books for visual mediums. In a book, unless its illustrated, the attractiveness or otherwise of its characters is not an issue. Schools and religious institutions can also do more to project the values that worth is not contingent upon your genetic makeup or your rating on hotornot.com.

It would be helpful for everyone, but particularly our youth, to be less cliquish. We should put people of different ethnicities, life experiences and perceived beauty together more often. By interacting with others outside our normal class, it becomes obvious that we are all basically the same and that beauty and genetics say nothing about worth or character. These values become real only when they are experienced. People of different types have to work through issues together over a long period of time to get this understanding.

For students, it might mean lots of group projects where people in a group are picked specifically because they are different, instead of the same. Leveraging our diversity on all levels is actually a great strength. The more we all understand the multi-dimensional aspects of all of us, and feel it in our core, the more empathetic we become and the better we become at solving problems that affect everyone. This takes a lot of practice, and it often takes trained facilitators to help people see the strength in our diversity and our essential humanity. We have to see each other as real, not surreal.

And of course where there are signs of obvious danger, like Rodger’s mental illness, we must take logical steps to protect society. The NRA says that owning guns is a right. That is the current Supreme Court’s interpretation. The truth is that gun ownership, like driving a car, should be a privilege. It can and should be restricted to those sane and sober enough to use guns responsibly. By making it a right, it’s like giving a teenager a hotrod, a full tank of gas, a set of keys and a fifth of Tequila and telling them to enjoy their drive. That’s is the message we send to people like Rodger. Until we finally figure that out, Joe the Plumber will, unfortunately, continue to be right.

 
The Thinker

Danger: soul-sucking housing complex!

It’s pretty well established that your environment affects your behavior. Only crazy people who can afford better like Cory Booker will live in bad neighborhoods. Booker (D-NJ) was crazy like a fox. He leveraged his willingness to live in crime-infested public housing to become mayor of Newark, New Jersey and now U.S. senator. He now lives in much better digs, which is good because the complex he lived in has been torn down.

If you have to live in a bad neighborhood, well, it’s probably better than being on the street. Still, if you have the money, why would anyone choose to live in a neighborhood like this?

Coppermine Crossing near Herndon, Virginia (photo courtesy of Google)

Coppermine Crossing near Herndon, Virginia (photo courtesy of Google)

This is a community called Coppermine Crossing, a relatively new condominium complex south of Herndon, Virginia and just a few miles from my house. This link should take you into a Google Maps street view where you can explore the neighborhood. I was ignorant of the neighborhood because until recently I had no reason to go down this part of Coppermine Road. That was until my wife suffered another seizure some weeks ago, the result of which means I take her to and from work now. She works not too far from Coppermine Crossing and this back door route saved a little time.

As you can see plenty of people live in Coppermine Crossing. I’m no urban architect, but I’m guessing this is what current builders think of as the new urban chic kind of housing. For those who live there and like it, if there are any of you, more power to you. It looks new and clean and safe. Driving through it most days though it makes my eyes bleed. If this is 21st century living, I’m glad I’m a foot closer to the grave.

It looks and feels soulless. Nature is almost completely absent, worse because it is this way by design. Households are stacked on top of households. You have intimate views of your neighbors’ cars, and long stairs you must hoof to the entrance to your condominium on an elevated second floor. That’s because the first floor garage is sized for one car only. The second car must sit behind it on your tiny driveway, or must be parked on a street far away from the community, because it’s pretty much all fire lanes and that’s because the houses are so close together. The website conveniently includes a link to their towing company. Apparently they take no prisoners.

But since you are in an urban area, what does it matter? Except, of course, you are not. You are in suburbia. Yes, you can walk to shopping but it’s a bit of a walk. And the retail there is, well, not quite so prime. There is a grocery store, but it’s sure not Whole Foods or Harris Teeter. Try a Shoppers Food Warehouse. There is some ethnic dining, but also greasy pizza places, a Subway and a McDonalds. It’s just a strip mall. If you want to go to a movie theater, you won’t find one there. You have to walk substantially further into Herndon itself to the Worldgate Theaters. So you’ll probably drive.

The good news is that it’s hard to get closer housing to Washington Dulles Airport. And one of these days the new Silver Line will extend out to a station on nearby Centreville Road. If you don’t mind walking about a mile, or maybe catching a Fairfax Connector bus that runs infrequently near the neighborhood, you will be able to take the Metro into DC, Alexandria, Tyson’s Corner or points further. But this is twenty miles from Washington D.C. It’s not urban by any stretch of the imagination, except for in this condominium complex, where units are stuffed as tightly as possible into these limited parcels of land.

They are there because the developers ran the math and this type of ugly neighborhood was how they could squeeze the most profit out of the land. Stack units them on top of each other, put adjacent buildings within three feet of each other, give the appearance of modern amenities (like a one car garage) without providing any of the amenities that count, like parks or playgrounds or much in the way of places to even walk the dog. In this neighborhood, you better have a cat.

If you have school age kids, the good news is they can walk to elementary school. The relatively new Lutie Lewis Coates Elementary School is a short walk. The school has a tiny playground that will have to suffice for your kids on the weekend. Want to climb a tree? Well, there are a few planted along the curbs, but there is so little open space between road and house that they won’t be able to grow very tall or broad, and doubtless the condo association will keep the branches trimmed so that climbing them will be impossible even when they reach maturity. Most likely, it’s against the condo rules.

But, but most units have a balcony … that looks out over asphalt and concrete and gives you intimate peeks into your neighbor’s bedrooms, assuming they are indiscreet enough to leave the blinds up. And going up and down the stairs to your front door looks like the workout you won’t get otherwise because there is nothing to do in this “neighborhood”, so you’ll be spending your time indoors and cloistered. Perhaps you will get a rear window with a view of traffic passing on Coppermine Road, not something that will attract a subsequent buyer. And don’t worry about not blending in. Each house is virtually identical to the next, with only subtle variations in the carefully approved shades of siding to differentiate them.

This type of housing must appeal to some people as there do not appear to be any vacancies. Drive through it though and it’s like no one is there. You rarely see anyone, just cars in the driveway. No kids playing because, well, where the hell would they play? You rarely hear anything except the sounds of cars on nearby thoroughfares. Pretty much the only thing you can see outside your window is more of the same featureless housing, so uncomfortably close and intimate.

So, not to worry. I don’t plan to retire here or to any “community” that is anything like this. I assume these condos are at least close to most people’s offices. There are so many software and telecommunications companies along the Dulles Technology corridor. At least your commute to the office, assuming you work nearby, is minimal. Perhaps you could walk there.

Other than that I can see no reason why anyone would want to live in one of these monstrosities. The development was probably rubber stamped by Fairfax County officials. But there should be some arbiter of taste that is empowered to say, “Your houses are just not something that people should ever live in. It will suck out their soul and their spirit.” Doubtless the community was profitable to the home builders. Doubtless too is that it is not a place that can possibly feel like a real home. It’s a place to live, hopefully for as short a time as possible, before you can get the hell out.

 
The Thinker

Craigslist casual encounter weirdness: May 2014 edition

Spring has definitely sprung at last. Our lawn in carpeted with blossoms from our flowering trees. There is nothing like spring to also get the human sex hormones surging. My local Northern Virginia Craigslist casual encounters area seemed unusually pedestrian over our cold winter. I think some libidos went into hibernation. Are they out yet?

First, a quick check on my Craigslist Google Analytics statistics. I count at least 257 page requests for Craigslist casual encounters posts during April. There are also quite a few through Feedburner, but it’s harder to count those, so I won’t. So these posts remain popular, although perhaps a bit less so than last year. Also, let me do a quick check to see how many are posting for what. In the latest 100 posts that came up in my browser, I found 52 men looking for women, 33 men looking for men, one couple looking for a man, one couple looking for a woman, 3 men looking for transvestites, 5 women looking for men and just one woman (actually a lesbian couple) looking for a woman. There are also 5 transvestites looking for men. As usual, links may take you to ads with sexually explicit pictures.

  • Let’s start with a she-male from Alexandria. There “she” is, in panties, butthole available to the world in her selfie, but with most of her male parts hidden. Looks like the hormone treatment has just started because she doesn’t have much in the way of chest assets yet. “She” is Asian, but won’t provide her age (I’ll guess 30ish) and doesn’t say much of what she wants outside of the hot men in the title. She does say “Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm” and “mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm”.
  • Here’s a married 52-year-old man from Loudoun County who has figured an escape clause around the whole cheating thing. He just wants to jerk off for you, providing you are a woman. There’s no sexual contact, if he’s true to his word. It also doesn’t qualify as an emotional affair, unless you count his grunting when he makes his climax. Anyhow, he’s got explicit pictures of his glory spot and he looks trim for a six-foot guy. I doubt he’ll get any takers so he might want to try using a webcam to show off instead. You can also see other pictures of him in this ad. Apparently he doesn’t have much else to do today but take naughty selfies.
  • I thought gloryholes were just legend around here because there aren’t too many places in the area grungy enough and disreputable enough to have them. This is because real estate around here is too expensive. Here’s how one gay guy got around the problem: he built his own gloryhole three feet inside his apartment made of plywood. I hope he got permission from the landlord. He’s 44, in the Rosslyn area and prefers them young. I do wonder why a guy would want a gloryhole. It’s no shame to be gay anymore, so why the anonymity?
  • A 28-year-old married man wants to be treated like shit by a woman. This seems a strange request, since it suggests that his wife must actually treat him well, and he finds satisfaction from being treated badly. He doesn’t even need sex, just wants to serve. Sounds like he has a bad case of submission fever and is so ashamed he can’t even tell his wife about it.
  • Here’s a twist: a 33-year-old bi-guy is looking for a bi-girl. He looks so metrosexual with his tousled hair and loose tie in his selfie. He may be bi and good looking, but apparently he doesn’t get much. It’s been a year since he’s had any sex with other than his right hand. Or maybe it’s been a year since he’s had sex with a woman. Anyhow, he wants to get laid and quick!
  • Are you into pregnant women? A 26-year-old single woman is 32 weeks pregnant, horny, and perhaps taking advantage of the fact that she can’t get further knocked up. She’s looking for an ongoing thing with a guy. I guess it’s polite not to ask about the father. She must be bi because she is also advertising for women.
  • A single Latina woman, whose pictures are in the ad but who looks too cute to be the poster, is looking to be lied to. Rather, she is looking for a “fib”. I think it’s a typo, and she wants a FWB, a Friend with Benefits. She’s into lots of things including Kyushu, which must be a new kink on Craigslist because I never heard of it before. Also, it looks like she likes Technicolor glowworms on her breasts. What’s that about?
  • And speaking of women, here’s a 26-year-old woman from Alexandria not just looking for a woman, but into a group of women. She wants your picture and in fairness she supplied her picture, at least of her privates. Oh good, she shaves down there, but apparently not in the last few days.
  • Here’s a couple in their mid 50s who are married, but not to each other, looking for a woman to join them. But really what they want are six to 10 people for one big large orgy. But since they are cheating from their respective spouses, it has to be weekdays during the day. It all sounds so dreadfully complicated.
  • Men, do you have a foot fetish? A 40-ish Fairfax couple is looking for you, or rather the female part of the couple is looking for you for what sounds like mostly a very long foot massage. It doesn’t sound like they want you for sex. I must say this lady has cute feet. Painting her toes could be fun.
  • I still don’t get the whole cuckold thing, but wimpy submissive husbands with domineering hot wives seems to the latest craze. If this is you and your missus, consider meeting other couples at a Dale City cuckolds couples party. Only the hosting couple is not a cuckold couple, he’s a black male who is dominant and she is the submissive. And he has a few black “bulls” on standby to join the party. Sounds like heaven for wimps.

So the kinky hormones must be kicking in. The pregnant woman into casual pregnant sex raised my eyebrows the most this month. Let’s see what June’s postings reveal.

 

 

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